0043: Tears of a Shattered Soul - Victoria Lenin
Sunday's Sue. This one is from 
, but I just had to re-post it here... just look at this... thing.
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
TITLE: Tears of a Shattered Soul (*barf*)
PERPETRATOR: lost-in-my-thoughts
FULL NAME: Victoria Lenin
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: "brown hair"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none
POSESSIONS: none
ORIGIN: Another Sue who is sent to Hogwarts when her parents (who I think were aurors) die. Honestly, isn't there anywhere else to put them? The guy who kills her parents also murders her little sister, Jenna, who was only six. This allows Victoria-Sue to angst about how Jenna's 'whole life has been thrown away!'
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape takes her shopping. Snape takes her shopping. SNAPE.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: None so far.
NOTES: This author thinks seats in a church are called 'pues'.
SAMPLE:
She stepped out of the terminaland looked around the airport. Her airport in Georgia was much bigger. With her guitar on her back and her bag and skateboard and suitcase on a trolley, she searched the airport for a teacher from her new school to pick her up. They had told her it was a boarding school, and for the next 2 and a quarter years, she would be living there. Great she thought for the next like two years i get to live at a school. Suddenly, out of no where, a man with shoulder length black hair stood in front of her. "Are you Victoria Lenin?" he asked in a tone of boredum. She nodded as she stood silent. He eyed her for a moment and then turned and walked away from her. After a few seconds he stopped and turned to her, "Well, are you coming or not?" he snapped. Oh joy, she thought i am to be escorted by Mr. PMS. She followed the man out to a taxi and lugged her bags into the trunk, without any of his help. She sat in the taxi next to him in silence. A silence that seemed very uncomfortable, for she didn't have the slightest clue of what to talk about with a man who seemed to loathe her."Sooo...." she said after a few minutes in silence, "What's your name? You already know mine."
"I am Severus Snape," he stated coldly.
"Okay..that's...um...cool....i guess. Where are we going?"
"The Leaky Cauldron. Now, do you have many of these stupid questions stowed in your brain that you have an urge to ask me? You seem to be suffering from an incapatability to ask intelligent questions, more of trying to waste my time."
"Dude, i didn't mean any harm, but like...it was really quiet in here and i was just trying to kill the silence, man." Snape turned to look at her.
"Silence is golden, Miss Lenin."
"In your case but not mine. Dude, and you can call me Tori. Don't call me Miss Lenin, it sounds too...........formal er something."
"I shall call you what i wish, Miss Lenin."
"Dude, you can call me brat for all i care, but don't call me Miss Lenin, it sounds stupid!" Tears stung her eyes. Everyone in her whole life had referred to her mother as Mrs. Lenin, and being called Miss Lenin remind her too much of that. She just wanted to forget it all right now. A tear escaped her clenched eyelids and dripped onto her leg. Startled, Snape glanced at her. She had begun to cry. Snape cleared his throat, "I am very sorry to have called you Miss Lenin, i shall attempt to remember to call you Victoria," he said through clenched teeth. Sympathy was not a thing he enjoyed, but he knew that this young girl had lost her family, and it was the least he could do. Tori whiped her tears and looked up at him. "Whatever dude," she said as she whiped away her tears. The taxi pulled to a stop and Snape stepped out, Tori following suit. "Where are we?" she asked.
"The Leaky Cauldron," Snape replied as he helped her remove her things from the taxi's trunk. She glanced at the run down pub and raised an eyebrow. "A pub? Why are you taking me, a minor, into a pib? Isn't there some sort of law against that?"
"Frankly, no. But i am not coming here for a drink. This is where we enter Diagon Ally to purchase your school supplies," he said as he carried his suitcase with him, leaving her to get the rest. She quietyl entered the pub and looked aroundd. The pub had clearly been there for a very long time. The counter, stools, and tables all looked worn and the tapestries on the wall were faded. Due to lack of windows, there was a very little bit of light iluminating the pub, only candles and lamps added to the bit of light. Tori followed Snape to the counter where she gave her things to the bar tender to be watched until she returned. They walked through a back door, into an area surrounded entirely by brick. "What on earth are we doing here, man? There's like...no where to go back here," she said. Snape brisly turned to her, glaring deep into her eyes.
"If you will mind your tongue, child, you will see," he said as he pulled out a wand from his pocket and tapped the bricks on the wall. Tori began to laugh at the stupidity of the scene, when Snape took a few spaces back, watching the bricks. A few seconds passed and they began to move, forming an arched door. "Wow," she mumbled in awe, "What is this...how'd you do that?" Snape smirked, "Magic , child. Has no one informed you of anything?" Snape walked down the street, Tori quickly following. So she thought in awe there really is a magical world.
, but I just had to re-post it here... just look at this... thing.
SUE-O-METER: (how bad is it?)
WRITING:
SUEAGE:
WRONGNESS:
TITLE: Tears of a Shattered Soul (*barf*)
PERPETRATOR: lost-in-my-thoughts
FULL NAME: Victoria Lenin
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: "brown hair"
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: none
POSESSIONS: none
ORIGIN: Another Sue who is sent to Hogwarts when her parents (who I think were aurors) die. Honestly, isn't there anywhere else to put them? The guy who kills her parents also murders her little sister, Jenna, who was only six. This allows Victoria-Sue to angst about how Jenna's 'whole life has been thrown away!'
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape takes her shopping. Snape takes her shopping. SNAPE.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: None so far.
NOTES: This author thinks seats in a church are called 'pues'.
SAMPLE:
She stepped out of the terminaland looked around the airport. Her airport in Georgia was much bigger. With her guitar on her back and her bag and skateboard and suitcase on a trolley, she searched the airport for a teacher from her new school to pick her up. They had told her it was a boarding school, and for the next 2 and a quarter years, she would be living there. Great she thought for the next like two years i get to live at a school. Suddenly, out of no where, a man with shoulder length black hair stood in front of her. "Are you Victoria Lenin?" he asked in a tone of boredum. She nodded as she stood silent. He eyed her for a moment and then turned and walked away from her. After a few seconds he stopped and turned to her, "Well, are you coming or not?" he snapped. Oh joy, she thought i am to be escorted by Mr. PMS. She followed the man out to a taxi and lugged her bags into the trunk, without any of his help. She sat in the taxi next to him in silence. A silence that seemed very uncomfortable, for she didn't have the slightest clue of what to talk about with a man who seemed to loathe her."Sooo...." she said after a few minutes in silence, "What's your name? You already know mine."
"I am Severus Snape," he stated coldly.
"Okay..that's...um...cool....i guess. Where are we going?"
"The Leaky Cauldron. Now, do you have many of these stupid questions stowed in your brain that you have an urge to ask me? You seem to be suffering from an incapatability to ask intelligent questions, more of trying to waste my time."
"Dude, i didn't mean any harm, but like...it was really quiet in here and i was just trying to kill the silence, man." Snape turned to look at her.
"Silence is golden, Miss Lenin."
"In your case but not mine. Dude, and you can call me Tori. Don't call me Miss Lenin, it sounds too...........formal er something."
"I shall call you what i wish, Miss Lenin."
"Dude, you can call me brat for all i care, but don't call me Miss Lenin, it sounds stupid!" Tears stung her eyes. Everyone in her whole life had referred to her mother as Mrs. Lenin, and being called Miss Lenin remind her too much of that. She just wanted to forget it all right now. A tear escaped her clenched eyelids and dripped onto her leg. Startled, Snape glanced at her. She had begun to cry. Snape cleared his throat, "I am very sorry to have called you Miss Lenin, i shall attempt to remember to call you Victoria," he said through clenched teeth. Sympathy was not a thing he enjoyed, but he knew that this young girl had lost her family, and it was the least he could do. Tori whiped her tears and looked up at him. "Whatever dude," she said as she whiped away her tears. The taxi pulled to a stop and Snape stepped out, Tori following suit. "Where are we?" she asked.
"The Leaky Cauldron," Snape replied as he helped her remove her things from the taxi's trunk. She glanced at the run down pub and raised an eyebrow. "A pub? Why are you taking me, a minor, into a pib? Isn't there some sort of law against that?"
"Frankly, no. But i am not coming here for a drink. This is where we enter Diagon Ally to purchase your school supplies," he said as he carried his suitcase with him, leaving her to get the rest. She quietyl entered the pub and looked aroundd. The pub had clearly been there for a very long time. The counter, stools, and tables all looked worn and the tapestries on the wall were faded. Due to lack of windows, there was a very little bit of light iluminating the pub, only candles and lamps added to the bit of light. Tori followed Snape to the counter where she gave her things to the bar tender to be watched until she returned. They walked through a back door, into an area surrounded entirely by brick. "What on earth are we doing here, man? There's like...no where to go back here," she said. Snape brisly turned to her, glaring deep into her eyes.
"If you will mind your tongue, child, you will see," he said as he pulled out a wand from his pocket and tapped the bricks on the wall. Tori began to laugh at the stupidity of the scene, when Snape took a few spaces back, watching the bricks. A few seconds passed and they began to move, forming an arched door. "Wow," she mumbled in awe, "What is this...how'd you do that?" Snape smirked, "Magic , child. Has no one informed you of anything?" Snape walked down the street, Tori quickly following. So she thought in awe there really is a magical world.