5004: Confessions of a Male Escort - Rewrite
Title: Confessions of a Male Escort - Rewrite
Perpetrator: She Who Cannot Be Turned
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: I think the avatar is meant to represent the writer in some manner.
Summary: “Unbeknownst to everyone, the wizarding world's prophecy had been made void millennia before it was even spoken. Long before even Voldemort was born, a different prophecy had been made. An ancient one created during The Fall in Heaven, and one the had far more reaching consequences should it fail. But will a failed wizard saviour turned prostitute be able to succeed in his new task?”
Full Name: Harry Potter, or so we’re to believe.
Species: He’s supposed to be a canon character, but he’s the canon character in name only.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: Apparently Harry has a journal which was kept by James letting him learn pretty much everything he knows is wrong. (How convenient…) He;s also got a sword because - swords are cool?
Connection to Canon:
I’m going to start off by saying there is nothing wrong with writing a story about prostitution. I’m also going to say here that prostitutes are real people, yet we don’t know the stories either. Some do their jobs willingly, and others do not. Some are simply escorts and not prostitutes. There is nothing wrong with giving a canon character this profession if the writer is willing to actually put the effort into why they’re in said life style. Does the writer do this? The summaries don’t do anything of the sort, but Harry’s prophecy is negated before even being made in one summary and Harry’s going off the deep end in the other which is like quite a few other stories featured here.
As for the story, I found the prologue painful to read, but then again said prologue is about the prophesy which negates a prophesy before it was even made. This is being used to justify the plot direction. We’ve yet another story where Harry’s situation is over exaggerated, but this time Harry flees to a Catholic church in Little Whinging for safety. Harry tells the man inside he’s being kept in a cupboard and the man’s response is simply that Harry can come back. He talks to the priest about whether his parents Christianed him or not because “Aunt Tunia” said he wasn’t and the priest somehow knows he was. How?
By the time Harry starts getting to the age of going to Hogwarts he is giggling as if he were still four years old like the beginning of the story, yet his dialogue doesn’t mature over the entire thing. The priest simply promises him at that time he’ll get to know the contests of the letters and still does nothing to help Harry. Later on they talk about Harry’s confirmation. Apparently because of confirmation he almost picked the name Michael. We learn this while Harry is making a confession regarding having sinned because a war is going on, but he never goes into how he’s sinned. He also doesn’t know who this person really is. He knows that Voldemot didn’t kill his parents because of this journal, yet nobody else apparently knew despite the existence of this journal. I eventually got to the part where a Death Eater tells Harry, “my master has plans for you. He believes you would make a most pleasing whore.” Eventually Harry approaches Voldemot and tells him he wants revenge, but not against him because he knows Voldemort didn’t kill his parents and for some reason thinks this will end his troubles. This is where we learn his sword’s name is Geoff.
There is no real connection, truth be told because the Harry Potter canon is pretty much meaningless beyond Harry as a character in name because the writer changed everything without any explanation to make Harry “cooler” or to lead into the eventual plot of Harry being a prostitute.
Origin: The original summary from the old story is in this one, but we’re supposed to believe that “Harry left the wizarding world after defeating Voldemort for revenge against his parents real killer. He gets his revenge in unorthodox ways, and then, six years later, he is visited by a pair of angels, who want him to prevent Sam Winchester’s fall from grace.” Under pairings, the writer says, “Sam/Harry. OMC(angel)/Harry, (Harry’s with a fair few original characters to be fair, he is a prostitute after all…)
Special Abilities: The summaries of both the original and the rewrite scream out that the writer turned Harry into a Gary Stu. First, I can’t fathom how it is possible for a prophesy to be negated before it is made. Why does said prophesy even exist if it can not exist? Second, we’ve another story where a canon character goes off the deep end simply because the writer wants them to and not because this is a logical direction for them. If Voldemort didn’t kill Harry’s parents then why is Harry his enemy and his blood able to revive him? All character development happens off screen and the direction of the plot is forced.
Notes: No, Suethor. It is not possible for a prophecy to be negated before it is even made. Also, I’m bothered with the writer’s comment regarding “Harry with a fair few original characters to be fair, he is a prostitute after all…”, but then the writer also says in their summary that there may be “possible glamorization of prostitution” which they also see no issue with either. Of course, the writer also needs to learn the difference between an escort and a prostitute. I’d link to some articles, but they have mature content not all readers need to be reading. I’m not even out of the notes on this one and I’m already majorly disappointed in the writers lack of research.
I debated whether to cover the original in this entry, another entry like I did the previous one I came across or not analyze the story at all. Given the fact both are by themselves quite lengthy - the original being almost 200k, I’ll simply note that the summary of the original was pretty much the same, but the note for the first chapter also says, “so this is an sort of experimental story, so no whinin’”. Am I the only one bothered by the fact the writer thinks an experimental story justifies less criticism when in reality it justifies even more? Why even bother doing an experimental story unless you’re willing to get feedback regarding what works and what doesn’t?
The writer also complains on their profile which hasn’t been updated since 2015 about the site admins deleting MA rated stories and their excuse is, “I live in UK. If they’re old enough to do it, they’re old enough to bloody read about it, right?” I’m not sure why they’re using UK standards for an American site, but their argument is based on “age of consent” in the UK. The fact a sixteen-year-old can legally enter into a sexual relation with someone doesn’t mean they’re ready to do so, want to do so, let alone want to read super descriptive content for something they’re holding off on doing until they’re actually older.
No, I didn’t get past the first chapter. The first chapter is over 10k, but that was enough to see the Harry Potter canon completely dismantled and tossed aside for this.
Sample:
"Really? Does He live here then? Where is He? You're not God, are you?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes at the divide suspiciously, huffing when the other man chuckled.
"No, Kiddo. I'm not God. Probably best not to go around asking random people that, He might be a bit insulted."
"Oh. So is He out? Does he work? Uncle Vern works. It makes him grumpy when he gets home. Will God be grumpy when he gets back?"
"He doesn't actually live here. It's er… you know what? Forget about this being His house, okay? What's your name, Kiddo? I don't think you've actually told me," the man asked him, sounding suspiciously like other grown ups when he asked them something they clearly didn't know.
"I'm Harry! I learnt it at school! I didn't know I got a name until then! I like it! Do you?"
"Harry's a great name, Kiddo. I'm Father Gabe. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, Father Gabe! Do you live in this cupboard? It's small than mine but it smells nicer. Do you like it in here?"
"What do you mean your cupboard?"
"My cupboard! Where I sleep at night time! Don't you sleep in here?"
"Kiddo, no one should sleep in a cupboard. Don't you have a bedroom?"
"There's not enough room for me to have my own room! Aunt Tunia says I'm not 'llowed one. I like my cupboard though. The spiders in there are really nice and it's somewhere I can hide when I've been bad."
"Oh, Kiddo. You know you're welcome to come here whenever your cupboard isn't safe enough, okay? I'll always be here for you if need me."
Perpetrator: She Who Cannot Be Turned
Sue-O-Meter: Toxic
Cover/Banner Art: I think the avatar is meant to represent the writer in some manner.
Summary: “Unbeknownst to everyone, the wizarding world's prophecy had been made void millennia before it was even spoken. Long before even Voldemort was born, a different prophecy had been made. An ancient one created during The Fall in Heaven, and one the had far more reaching consequences should it fail. But will a failed wizard saviour turned prostitute be able to succeed in his new task?”
Full Name: Harry Potter, or so we’re to believe.
Species: He’s supposed to be a canon character, but he’s the canon character in name only.
Hair: n/a
Eyes: n/a
Markings: n/a
Possessions: Apparently Harry has a journal which was kept by James letting him learn pretty much everything he knows is wrong. (How convenient…) He;s also got a sword because - swords are cool?
Connection to Canon:
I’m going to start off by saying there is nothing wrong with writing a story about prostitution. I’m also going to say here that prostitutes are real people, yet we don’t know the stories either. Some do their jobs willingly, and others do not. Some are simply escorts and not prostitutes. There is nothing wrong with giving a canon character this profession if the writer is willing to actually put the effort into why they’re in said life style. Does the writer do this? The summaries don’t do anything of the sort, but Harry’s prophecy is negated before even being made in one summary and Harry’s going off the deep end in the other which is like quite a few other stories featured here.
As for the story, I found the prologue painful to read, but then again said prologue is about the prophesy which negates a prophesy before it was even made. This is being used to justify the plot direction. We’ve yet another story where Harry’s situation is over exaggerated, but this time Harry flees to a Catholic church in Little Whinging for safety. Harry tells the man inside he’s being kept in a cupboard and the man’s response is simply that Harry can come back. He talks to the priest about whether his parents Christianed him or not because “Aunt Tunia” said he wasn’t and the priest somehow knows he was. How?
By the time Harry starts getting to the age of going to Hogwarts he is giggling as if he were still four years old like the beginning of the story, yet his dialogue doesn’t mature over the entire thing. The priest simply promises him at that time he’ll get to know the contests of the letters and still does nothing to help Harry. Later on they talk about Harry’s confirmation. Apparently because of confirmation he almost picked the name Michael. We learn this while Harry is making a confession regarding having sinned because a war is going on, but he never goes into how he’s sinned. He also doesn’t know who this person really is. He knows that Voldemot didn’t kill his parents because of this journal, yet nobody else apparently knew despite the existence of this journal. I eventually got to the part where a Death Eater tells Harry, “my master has plans for you. He believes you would make a most pleasing whore.” Eventually Harry approaches Voldemot and tells him he wants revenge, but not against him because he knows Voldemort didn’t kill his parents and for some reason thinks this will end his troubles. This is where we learn his sword’s name is Geoff.
There is no real connection, truth be told because the Harry Potter canon is pretty much meaningless beyond Harry as a character in name because the writer changed everything without any explanation to make Harry “cooler” or to lead into the eventual plot of Harry being a prostitute.
Origin: The original summary from the old story is in this one, but we’re supposed to believe that “Harry left the wizarding world after defeating Voldemort for revenge against his parents real killer. He gets his revenge in unorthodox ways, and then, six years later, he is visited by a pair of angels, who want him to prevent Sam Winchester’s fall from grace.” Under pairings, the writer says, “Sam/Harry. OMC(angel)/Harry, (Harry’s with a fair few original characters to be fair, he is a prostitute after all…)
Special Abilities: The summaries of both the original and the rewrite scream out that the writer turned Harry into a Gary Stu. First, I can’t fathom how it is possible for a prophesy to be negated before it is made. Why does said prophesy even exist if it can not exist? Second, we’ve another story where a canon character goes off the deep end simply because the writer wants them to and not because this is a logical direction for them. If Voldemort didn’t kill Harry’s parents then why is Harry his enemy and his blood able to revive him? All character development happens off screen and the direction of the plot is forced.
Notes: No, Suethor. It is not possible for a prophecy to be negated before it is even made. Also, I’m bothered with the writer’s comment regarding “Harry with a fair few original characters to be fair, he is a prostitute after all…”, but then the writer also says in their summary that there may be “possible glamorization of prostitution” which they also see no issue with either. Of course, the writer also needs to learn the difference between an escort and a prostitute. I’d link to some articles, but they have mature content not all readers need to be reading. I’m not even out of the notes on this one and I’m already majorly disappointed in the writers lack of research.
I debated whether to cover the original in this entry, another entry like I did the previous one I came across or not analyze the story at all. Given the fact both are by themselves quite lengthy - the original being almost 200k, I’ll simply note that the summary of the original was pretty much the same, but the note for the first chapter also says, “so this is an sort of experimental story, so no whinin’”. Am I the only one bothered by the fact the writer thinks an experimental story justifies less criticism when in reality it justifies even more? Why even bother doing an experimental story unless you’re willing to get feedback regarding what works and what doesn’t?
The writer also complains on their profile which hasn’t been updated since 2015 about the site admins deleting MA rated stories and their excuse is, “I live in UK. If they’re old enough to do it, they’re old enough to bloody read about it, right?” I’m not sure why they’re using UK standards for an American site, but their argument is based on “age of consent” in the UK. The fact a sixteen-year-old can legally enter into a sexual relation with someone doesn’t mean they’re ready to do so, want to do so, let alone want to read super descriptive content for something they’re holding off on doing until they’re actually older.
No, I didn’t get past the first chapter. The first chapter is over 10k, but that was enough to see the Harry Potter canon completely dismantled and tossed aside for this.
Sample:
"Really? Does He live here then? Where is He? You're not God, are you?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes at the divide suspiciously, huffing when the other man chuckled.
"No, Kiddo. I'm not God. Probably best not to go around asking random people that, He might be a bit insulted."
"Oh. So is He out? Does he work? Uncle Vern works. It makes him grumpy when he gets home. Will God be grumpy when he gets back?"
"He doesn't actually live here. It's er… you know what? Forget about this being His house, okay? What's your name, Kiddo? I don't think you've actually told me," the man asked him, sounding suspiciously like other grown ups when he asked them something they clearly didn't know.
"I'm Harry! I learnt it at school! I didn't know I got a name until then! I like it! Do you?"
"Harry's a great name, Kiddo. I'm Father Gabe. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, Father Gabe! Do you live in this cupboard? It's small than mine but it smells nicer. Do you like it in here?"
"What do you mean your cupboard?"
"My cupboard! Where I sleep at night time! Don't you sleep in here?"
"Kiddo, no one should sleep in a cupboard. Don't you have a bedroom?"
"There's not enough room for me to have my own room! Aunt Tunia says I'm not 'llowed one. I like my cupboard though. The spiders in there are really nice and it's somewhere I can hide when I've been bad."
"Oh, Kiddo. You know you're welcome to come here whenever your cupboard isn't safe enough, okay? I'll always be here for you if need me."