3546: Hogwarts: Kill Me Now
- The link of the day is Types of Mary-Sue's.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Hogwarts: Killy Me Now
PERPETRATOR: Kat965
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: Nothng special
SUMMARY:”Transferring to Hogwarts in my sixth year? Not my brightest moment. Why move from sunny Australia to dreary England? The situation could not get worse. Especially when the insufferable James Potter declares a pranking war with me. Not to mention, there's a group of witches and wizards teaming up to protest against half-breeds and 'impure' magical creatures...”
FULL NAME: Madison Taylor
SPECIES: exchange student
HAIR: see markings...
EYES: see markings...
MARKINGS: “Well, my name is Madison Taylor, or as people call me, Maddie. Growing up on the perfect beaches of Sydney, Australia has been kind to my now golden skin - but that killer tan totally went away when I landed in England. I guess you might want to know what I look like. Well, I have dirty blonde hair that's got these cool gold streaks from the sun. I have boring brown eyes and usually my skin is golden and tan but now, it's pale from not being exposed to the sun. I guess I'm pretty tall for my age (16) and have an athletic build. I'm not the skinniest person but in no way am I fat - size eight or ten? My curves are basically non-existent. I guess I'm average in the pretty department. Well, that was my attempt at telling you what I look like. Let's get back to the story now.”
POSSESSIONS: Here want has a “10 ¾ inches, made of ash and had a veela core.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: The story starts off with the OC making out with James the II before getting into the series. (Really?) She gets introduced, and gets a standing ovation.
ORIGIN: The writer decided to write a next generation fic. “Well, I'm not transferring - more like, exchanging. There was this competition at the Australian Institute of Magic and Hogwarts - whoever the two winners were completely swapped lives. We swapped schools, school houses, dorms - everything. But I did get to choose my own classes and the exchange was for one year only.” The only reason she tried out was because, “my best friends, Able, Sadie and Max all thricked me into doing it.”
SPECIAL ABILITIES: This is a next generation fic, so what's up with the prejudices being as hard core as they are in the summary? The Sue labels herself as a “lonely freak”. The Sue decides to also give us an entire list of her faults. “Reasons Why I Am Not Perfect And Cause Trouble: […] 1. I am a massive clutz when it comes to important stuff. Seriously. It's like if I even look at a vase, it'll break - just to spite me. I can sneak around easily but when I'm walking down in front of a crowd, I'll bet you I'll fall. […] 2. My grades aren't so good. Sport? Quidditch? Yeah, I'm really good. But when it comes to Herbology and History of Magic? I get so many P's (poor) it's like I'm that assistant from Mr Poppers' Penguins. […] 3. If there was a choice between following the rules completely… or pranking people with the risk of getting caught and expelled… pranking would win. Every time. […] 4. I have a big mouth. I can't not say something if it pops into my head. I just blurt things out which is sometimes good… but mostly bad. […] 5. Forget wands and spells - sarcasm is the only weapon I'll ever need. […] 6. I'm an adrenaline junky. I don't care. If I sneak out of the dorms at night, I make sure I make as much noise as possible so I can feel the rush of almost getting caught by patrols. Because, let's be real - I never get caught. […] 7. Oh, and I'm also extremely arrogant and proud. Just thought I'd add that in…” By the end of the first chapter, we find out that she's “Hogwarts' first every exchange student!”
NOTES: The very first chapter is titled “Reasons I Am Not Perfect and Cause Trouble”. I'm left wondering why writers think playing up a characters supposed flaws, and their angst ridden lives is a good thing. I couldn't get past the second chapter. I got the “everybody loves her” vibe, and as for her flaws...
You know how everybody in Twilight liked Bella Swan? That's what's going on in this fic. There is a list in every chapter it seems. Most of all I wonder why the canon characters put up with the Sue, or why she even got to be an exchange student in the first place, as they don't let just anybody go. It's not a matter of simply getting your name drawn. Actually, don't you need good grades, something the Sue doesn't have?
SAMPLE:
He looked at me. All the worry, pain and stress all went away when I saw his messy hair and heard his familiar gasp of breath. Even though we were standing in a room full of people and we were at opposite sides of the room, it was like I could almost feel his heartbeat from here. He pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the protests following him like a wave. His gaze never left mine. I stood, transfixed as he now stood only inches away from me.
His breath made my hair fly around me. His eyes looked intently into mine as we stood there for a few moments that felt like years. And then suddenly, his strong arms snaked around my waist and he crashed his lips to my own. I reacted so suddenly. I felt like I had been starving and didn't even notice until I felt what it was like to have him again. I felt like I had been drowning and he was my air. I felt like I had been sleeping and I had just woke up. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and just breathed in the scent of him - winter, pine trees and for some reason, like the sandy and salty beaches back home. My lips were in synch with his and we ignored everything that had happened before, all the pain and confusion. Because he was mine.
And this moment was ours.
Story:
Breath. C'mon. Just take a deep breath…
Let's just say, I'm super nervous. Transferring to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in my sixth year? Not a good idea. Everyone already knows everyone and I'll be the lonely freak. Well, I'm not transferring - more like, exchanging. There was this competition at the Australian Institute of Magic and Hogwarts - whoever the two winners were completely swapped lives. We swapped schools, school houses, dorms - everything. But I did get to choose my own classes and the exchange was for one year only.
But, you don't even know who I am, do you?
Well, my name is Madison Taylor, or as people call me, Maddie. Growing up on the perfect beaches of Sydney, Australia has been kind to my now golden skin - but that killer tan totally went away when I landed in England. I guess you might want to know what I look like. Well, I have dirty blonde hair that's got these cool gold streaks from the sun. I have boring brown eyes and usually my skin is golden and tan but now, it's pale from not being exposed to the sun. I guess I'm pretty tall for my age (16) and have an athletic build. I'm not the skinniest person but in no way am I fat - size eight or ten? My curves are basically non-existent. I guess I'm average in the pretty department. Well, that was my attempt at telling you what I look like. Let's get back to the story now.
Exchanging to Hogwarts sounded cool. I mean, who wouldn't want to walk the very halls that Harry Potter did? It's just that… I didn't actually want to sign up for the competition that decided if you were in the running to exchange. My best friends, Able, Sadie and Max all tricked me into doing it. I made a bet with them and… let's just say, that I lost. So, I entered the competition, not thinking that a chance in hell I'd pass the first test and second challenge, let alone the interview stage and then have my name drawn out of a hat! All of the people who signed up had to complete this boring and really long test. If you passed, you moved onto the challenge… which was going through this scary, elaborate and trapped haunted house/ maze. If you went into all the rooms, defeated every challenge and came out of the house in the top 20, you went through to the interview stage! Which was just our Head, Mr Tollin, asking us questions and seeing if we were 'right for Hogwarts'. Miraculously, even with all of the black marks on my record (black marks from sneaking out, pranking people, and pulling jokes etc. - nothing serious) I made it in the top 10! Then, one name was drawn at random and voila! It was mine! Yay! Right? No. Not yay.
But now I was so anxious. I mean, me, at Hogwarts? What a totally disastrous idea.
I mean, Hogwarts is legendary. Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Voldemort - the most famous wizards of all time went there. Growing up so far away from England and the great Battle of Hogwarts, you hear many, many, many different things. Like sometimes, they say that Harry Potter and Voldemort were actually secret lovers. Or some say that Voldemort committed suicide and Harry just stood there and took all the credit. Some even go as far to say that Dumbledore was actually the bad guy and just pinned it all on Voldemort. There are even some stories that say Snape is actually Harry's father and he carried a gun with him and wore cowboy boots. But anyway. That's beside the point.
So there I was, walking down the majestic and legendary halls of Hogwarts.
- Flashback Sue
TITLE: Hogwarts: Killy Me Now
PERPETRATOR: Kat965
SUE-O-METER: Toxic
COVER/BANNER ART: Nothng special
SUMMARY:”Transferring to Hogwarts in my sixth year? Not my brightest moment. Why move from sunny Australia to dreary England? The situation could not get worse. Especially when the insufferable James Potter declares a pranking war with me. Not to mention, there's a group of witches and wizards teaming up to protest against half-breeds and 'impure' magical creatures...”
FULL NAME: Madison Taylor
SPECIES: exchange student
HAIR: see markings...
EYES: see markings...
MARKINGS: “Well, my name is Madison Taylor, or as people call me, Maddie. Growing up on the perfect beaches of Sydney, Australia has been kind to my now golden skin - but that killer tan totally went away when I landed in England. I guess you might want to know what I look like. Well, I have dirty blonde hair that's got these cool gold streaks from the sun. I have boring brown eyes and usually my skin is golden and tan but now, it's pale from not being exposed to the sun. I guess I'm pretty tall for my age (16) and have an athletic build. I'm not the skinniest person but in no way am I fat - size eight or ten? My curves are basically non-existent. I guess I'm average in the pretty department. Well, that was my attempt at telling you what I look like. Let's get back to the story now.”
POSSESSIONS: Here want has a “10 ¾ inches, made of ash and had a veela core.”
CONNECTION TO CANON: The story starts off with the OC making out with James the II before getting into the series. (Really?) She gets introduced, and gets a standing ovation.
ORIGIN: The writer decided to write a next generation fic. “Well, I'm not transferring - more like, exchanging. There was this competition at the Australian Institute of Magic and Hogwarts - whoever the two winners were completely swapped lives. We swapped schools, school houses, dorms - everything. But I did get to choose my own classes and the exchange was for one year only.” The only reason she tried out was because, “my best friends, Able, Sadie and Max all thricked me into doing it.”
SPECIAL ABILITIES: This is a next generation fic, so what's up with the prejudices being as hard core as they are in the summary? The Sue labels herself as a “lonely freak”. The Sue decides to also give us an entire list of her faults. “Reasons Why I Am Not Perfect And Cause Trouble: […] 1. I am a massive clutz when it comes to important stuff. Seriously. It's like if I even look at a vase, it'll break - just to spite me. I can sneak around easily but when I'm walking down in front of a crowd, I'll bet you I'll fall. […] 2. My grades aren't so good. Sport? Quidditch? Yeah, I'm really good. But when it comes to Herbology and History of Magic? I get so many P's (poor) it's like I'm that assistant from Mr Poppers' Penguins. […] 3. If there was a choice between following the rules completely… or pranking people with the risk of getting caught and expelled… pranking would win. Every time. […] 4. I have a big mouth. I can't not say something if it pops into my head. I just blurt things out which is sometimes good… but mostly bad. […] 5. Forget wands and spells - sarcasm is the only weapon I'll ever need. […] 6. I'm an adrenaline junky. I don't care. If I sneak out of the dorms at night, I make sure I make as much noise as possible so I can feel the rush of almost getting caught by patrols. Because, let's be real - I never get caught. […] 7. Oh, and I'm also extremely arrogant and proud. Just thought I'd add that in…” By the end of the first chapter, we find out that she's “Hogwarts' first every exchange student!”
NOTES: The very first chapter is titled “Reasons I Am Not Perfect and Cause Trouble”. I'm left wondering why writers think playing up a characters supposed flaws, and their angst ridden lives is a good thing. I couldn't get past the second chapter. I got the “everybody loves her” vibe, and as for her flaws...
You know how everybody in Twilight liked Bella Swan? That's what's going on in this fic. There is a list in every chapter it seems. Most of all I wonder why the canon characters put up with the Sue, or why she even got to be an exchange student in the first place, as they don't let just anybody go. It's not a matter of simply getting your name drawn. Actually, don't you need good grades, something the Sue doesn't have?
SAMPLE:
He looked at me. All the worry, pain and stress all went away when I saw his messy hair and heard his familiar gasp of breath. Even though we were standing in a room full of people and we were at opposite sides of the room, it was like I could almost feel his heartbeat from here. He pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the protests following him like a wave. His gaze never left mine. I stood, transfixed as he now stood only inches away from me.
His breath made my hair fly around me. His eyes looked intently into mine as we stood there for a few moments that felt like years. And then suddenly, his strong arms snaked around my waist and he crashed his lips to my own. I reacted so suddenly. I felt like I had been starving and didn't even notice until I felt what it was like to have him again. I felt like I had been drowning and he was my air. I felt like I had been sleeping and I had just woke up. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and just breathed in the scent of him - winter, pine trees and for some reason, like the sandy and salty beaches back home. My lips were in synch with his and we ignored everything that had happened before, all the pain and confusion. Because he was mine.
And this moment was ours.
Story:
Breath. C'mon. Just take a deep breath…
Let's just say, I'm super nervous. Transferring to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in my sixth year? Not a good idea. Everyone already knows everyone and I'll be the lonely freak. Well, I'm not transferring - more like, exchanging. There was this competition at the Australian Institute of Magic and Hogwarts - whoever the two winners were completely swapped lives. We swapped schools, school houses, dorms - everything. But I did get to choose my own classes and the exchange was for one year only.
But, you don't even know who I am, do you?
Well, my name is Madison Taylor, or as people call me, Maddie. Growing up on the perfect beaches of Sydney, Australia has been kind to my now golden skin - but that killer tan totally went away when I landed in England. I guess you might want to know what I look like. Well, I have dirty blonde hair that's got these cool gold streaks from the sun. I have boring brown eyes and usually my skin is golden and tan but now, it's pale from not being exposed to the sun. I guess I'm pretty tall for my age (16) and have an athletic build. I'm not the skinniest person but in no way am I fat - size eight or ten? My curves are basically non-existent. I guess I'm average in the pretty department. Well, that was my attempt at telling you what I look like. Let's get back to the story now.
Exchanging to Hogwarts sounded cool. I mean, who wouldn't want to walk the very halls that Harry Potter did? It's just that… I didn't actually want to sign up for the competition that decided if you were in the running to exchange. My best friends, Able, Sadie and Max all tricked me into doing it. I made a bet with them and… let's just say, that I lost. So, I entered the competition, not thinking that a chance in hell I'd pass the first test and second challenge, let alone the interview stage and then have my name drawn out of a hat! All of the people who signed up had to complete this boring and really long test. If you passed, you moved onto the challenge… which was going through this scary, elaborate and trapped haunted house/ maze. If you went into all the rooms, defeated every challenge and came out of the house in the top 20, you went through to the interview stage! Which was just our Head, Mr Tollin, asking us questions and seeing if we were 'right for Hogwarts'. Miraculously, even with all of the black marks on my record (black marks from sneaking out, pranking people, and pulling jokes etc. - nothing serious) I made it in the top 10! Then, one name was drawn at random and voila! It was mine! Yay! Right? No. Not yay.
But now I was so anxious. I mean, me, at Hogwarts? What a totally disastrous idea.
I mean, Hogwarts is legendary. Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Voldemort - the most famous wizards of all time went there. Growing up so far away from England and the great Battle of Hogwarts, you hear many, many, many different things. Like sometimes, they say that Harry Potter and Voldemort were actually secret lovers. Or some say that Voldemort committed suicide and Harry just stood there and took all the credit. Some even go as far to say that Dumbledore was actually the bad guy and just pinned it all on Voldemort. There are even some stories that say Snape is actually Harry's father and he carried a gun with him and wore cowboy boots. But anyway. That's beside the point.
So there I was, walking down the majestic and legendary halls of Hogwarts.