depressed over Joe *(updated)*
When I met joe i was at first head over heals for this guy who said all the right things. He said he would accept me through all my flaws...etc. When he first came he spent time with me, went on walks with me, looked in my eyes like i was the most beautiful woman alive. Then, a few months passed...and he would spend hours online on the message boards and talking to girls he would meet in the Montana chat room...and fail to mention that he had a girlfriend. I'd be just i the other room wanting to spend time with him, willing to do whatever he wanted...while he talked to these girls that he met online instead of me. Why should I be foolish enough to think that he would be any different now if we got back together? I mean...he is already ignoring me to talk to other girls.
I cry as I write this knowing that i am admitting some harsh realities to myself that i didnt want to see before. A man I once dated and loved moved away...and now just because i said i didnt want to move to where he is...he wants nothing to do with me. If he did he wouldn't ignore me online after i say that i miss him. He would call me with his unlimited long distance once in a while to talk to me.
I sit here alone in this house crying for someone to show me love...and have to admit that it will never be him again.
I emailed him and told him never to call me, pm me, or email me again. I feel like that is one of the hardest things I have done in a long time. I cried the whole time i was typing it. It just hurts way too much to feel unwanted by him. It hurts too much to feel like nothing i say or do is good enough for him anymore.
It hurts too much to admit to myself that he doesnt love me anymore. So, i cant talk to him anymore. I just can't. It's killing me.
I cry as I write this knowing that i am admitting some harsh realities to myself that i didnt want to see before. A man I once dated and loved moved away...and now just because i said i didnt want to move to where he is...he wants nothing to do with me. If he did he wouldn't ignore me online after i say that i miss him. He would call me with his unlimited long distance once in a while to talk to me.
I sit here alone in this house crying for someone to show me love...and have to admit that it will never be him again.
I emailed him and told him never to call me, pm me, or email me again. I feel like that is one of the hardest things I have done in a long time. I cried the whole time i was typing it. It just hurts way too much to feel unwanted by him. It hurts too much to feel like nothing i say or do is good enough for him anymore.
It hurts too much to admit to myself that he doesnt love me anymore. So, i cant talk to him anymore. I just can't. It's killing me.