Gwyneth "Gwen" "Gardenia" Turner
I owe you guys an extra Sue the day after tommorow (in addition to the one I already owe you), since the Pit decided to be down when I was trying to do the Sue for the 24th. Well, actually the Sue would have technically been up on the 25th, but that's just because I'm bizarrely nocturnal so when my day ends it's actually morning the next day... or something. Whatever. On to the Sue.
TITLE: Crossing Blades
CULPRIT: sirius about you
SUMMARY: "Gwyneth Turner is a teen trying to follow in her father's footsteps. As soon as she meets Captain Jack Sparrow she finds herself on a search for her parents."
BEST LINE: "As she looked into each cell her wavy, golden brown hair would too." I swear, one day these people will learn how to structure sentences that actually convey the meaning that they intended. Won't they? Please, humor me. I need something to believe in.
THE VERDICT
It's a short drop and a sudden stop for you.
NAME: Gwyneth "Gwen" "Gardenia" Turner
EYES: not described
HAIR: "wavy, golden brown hair"
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "She wore a plain and simple dress; the top of it went around her shoulders, and the skirt went over her shins but not down to her ankles."
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Is Will and Elizabeth's 16 year old daughter who is on her own since they disappeared. I think they ran away from her, personally.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Is Will and Elizabeth's daughter. Is also Jack's goddaughter. And true love. I blame my brother for this. He said of an earlier offspring Sue: "Well, at least Jack's daughter didn't get with Will and Will's daughter with Jack." He jinxed it. I'm sure of it.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: L33t swordfighting skillz.
Bonus Sues
Derrick St. John, Jack's first mate who Sue thought she was in love with for two seconds before the writer took a poll and decided that Sue loved Jack.
Jeremy, random childhood friend they find swimming about in the ocean who was apparently on some ship with Will and Elizabeth. Jack starts calling him Trinket.
Hollis, another childhood friend of Sue's who appears out of nowhere in the ninth chapter, and acts as though he was always there or something. He apparently used the court Sue, and was her first kiss even though the narrative said that Jack was her first kiss.
THE "PLOT": Sue is wandering around the jail "visiting" pirates. I have no idea why. She runs into Jack. She helps him escape. They swordfight. She wins. He pulls a gun on her and takes her on to the Pearl. There's a struggle. There's kissing. Which is 52 different varieties of squicky. Jack knocks Sue out. She comes too and Jack is suddenly twelve and enquiring about whether or not he's a good kisser and whether people can become better kissers. His exact words: "Can people learn to kiss right?" Yes. A man who would have to be in his mid-fifties and who has probably slept with more woman than he can count is asking a sixteen year old about kissing. Let that marinate for a second. Then again, maybe Jack never kisses 'em on the mouth. Whatever. The Suethor thankfully goes away from that line of "ew" and introduces a Stu. Jack's first mate, who is conveniently only a few years older than Sue. They conveniently have to share a room. They're going to make out or something, but then Sue decides that they're going too fast and they have some inane conversation about love. Sue then sees some ships in the distance. She goes to wake Jack and he locks her in his cabin. Somehow the ships which were only dots in the distance a few minutes earlier overtake the Pearl, fastest ship in the Caribbean, and board it. There's fighting. Sue gets out of the cabin, is hidden behind some barrels, and anachronistically quotes some Byron (she even notes that she knows that it would be impossible for Sue to be quoting Byron), for no other reason than the Suethor wanted to include some poetry.
Sue eventually comes out from behind the barrels and tries to save her Stu by firing multiple shots from her pistol without reloading as though it were a glock instead of a historically accurate pistol from the late 17th/early 18th century. Anyway, she manages to make a mistake and shoot Stu, but, apparently, not anywhere important since he doesn't seem too peturbed by it. The battle ends, uneventfully, and apparently they were only there because they wanted Sue. Later Stu and Jack teach Sue how to drink rum.
I then lose faith in the school system when Sue starts talking about hearing news of England's war with the colonists... Was there an American Revolution that happened in the late 17th century that I've never heard of? Do they keep it out of the history books and only tell us about that copycat one that started in 1775? Anyway, its some sort of big reveal and scandel that Stu was apparently, born in Boston. Sue keeps saying things like "So you mean you're a-" and "Why didn't you tell me he was a-" and I get really curious as to what she was going to say. I assume that it can't possibly be "colonist" since, being from Port Royal, she's a colonist too. We then return to inappropriate squickiness as Sue cuddles with Jack in his bed.
The next chapter opens proving that the Suethor's math skills are on par with her history ones, as she declares that the results of her poll as to who Sue should love are: "[Sue]/Jack 8%, [Sue]/[Stu] 5%, and Duh... I don't know 3%" I sit and wonder for a while what happened to the other 84%. Then, in my attempt to cling to my belief in something I check the reviews and hope that 84% of them said nothing about the possible pairings. Unfortunately, I find that 8 people voted for Jack, 5 for Stu, and 3 were undecided. I became very sad. I take a break to collect myself. When I return the Suethor squicks me out even more by having Jack nibble Sues neck and then tell her the story of his adventure with her parents. The next day they come across some boy that Sue has known since childhood. They bring him aboard and he informs them that Will and Elizabeth were on board a ship with him but it was attacked. They were fighting, I guess he got tossed overboard or something. The Suethor asks, hilariously, at the end of the chapter: "I have a stupid question, what does Mary Sue mean? I’m getting a lot of reviews that says that this is a Mary Sue. Help me out!"
Jack tends to the JeremyStu's wounds and some other random Stu and childhood friend, by the name of Hollis, magically appears on the boat as though he had always been there. Anyway, the evil prate who has captured Will and Elizabeth attacks the Pearl, Jack gives Sue up. Then he goes after her. Will, Elizabeth, and Sue take over the ship. Everyone's ok and Jack and Sue make out in front of Will and Elizabeth.
NOTES: There are no notes. I'm still reeling from this Suethor's lack of basic education.
EXCERPT:
Why are Sues always in the most inappropriate of places?
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Don’t sue me!
Title: Crossing Blades
Summary or what’s in this chapter: Gwyneth Turner finds Jack, excuse me, Captain Jack Sparrow.
Hey! It’s me, StrawberrySwirl! But this time a couple of my friends are helping me! Thanks guys! Isn't there some sort of rule againts co-writing or shared accounts or something at the Pit? Just saying.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
A girl of sixteen walked along the jail cells of Port Royal. Her feet were as quiet as mice. As she looked into each cell her wavy, golden brown hair would too. Her name was Gwyneth Turner, daughter of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. She wore a plain and simple dress; the top of it went around her shoulders, and the skirt went over her shins but not down to her ankles. She occasionally went through the cells and visit people, mostly pirates, who were to be hanged. She really didn’t think anyone deserved a hanging, thief or pirate. There were no prisoners (that she could see) that she hadn’t visited yet. Somehow... it doesn't seem like that would be allowed. I mean she just walks around looking at them? Does Port Royal's jail allow conjugal visits or something? Is she the Sex-Fairy, bringing some last minute nookie to all the doomed pirates? As she walked down the she looked into the last cell expecting it to be empty, but gasped when she saw it was occupied.
The person wore a captain’s hat shielding eyes that were looking at the floor. He wore simple clothing that was mostly black and other dark colors. He sat on the floor, his index finger tracing the cracks on the floor.
“Hello?” she asked quietly, he didn’t seem to hear. “Hello?” she said a little louder. He tilted his head up to her face. Gwyneth could see the coal lining his eyes. When I asked that people stop using the description "kohl-lined eyes" for Jack this is. not. what. I. meant. “Yes?” he asked, his voice clear.
“My name is Gwyneth, and yours is?” There was suddenly a smile playing his lips and his eyes were now dancing.
“It’s Jack, and may I be blunt?”
“Certainly,” she said now smiling as well.
“What are you doing walking around a jail?” My question exactly.
“Visiting people,” she said like it was the most obvious thing.
“Why do you do that?” he asked eyes wide.
“My father said I might run into a person like you!”
“Who is your father?”
“His name is William Turner,” she said, Jack jumped at his name.
“Will Turner?”
“Yes, you know him?”
“Yes, where is he? I need to speak with him.”
“I’m afraid he is not in Port Royal, or he hasn’t been recently,” she said, “Same goes with my mother, Elizabeth.”
“You know that new ship being harbored, the Black Pearl?” he asked.
“Oh! You mean the Black Pearl that set off this morning, right?” she asked. Gloom set over his face. “Was that your ship?”
“Yes,” was all he said.
“So you are a pirate!” she exclaimed, “What’s your full name?”
“Captain Jack Sparrow.” He held a hand out through the bars, she grasped it tightly, his hand was warm and callused.
“You’re not like most pirates I’ve met, they’re normally mean and ignorant.” Then why are you visiting them?! And who can blame them really? I'd be mean too if some chick was wandering around the jail poking her stupid head into my cell while I was waiting on death row.
“Well I’m not most pirates.”
“I know. When I was a small child I only wanted to hear about the infamous Captain Sparrow.” She put her arms on her waist and felt a pistol in her dress she had put in hours ago, and then she felt two bottles and pulled them out.
“Do you drink?” she asked.
“You’re asking a pirate if he drinks?” he snorted.
“Okay, if you don’t want them~” she was cut off.
“Are you joking? Of course I want them!” She handed over a bottle. He drank and suddenly spit it out.
“What is this?!” he yelled.
“Water. I asked if you drank, that doesn’t always mean rum.” That's clever...if you're nine years old. If she had asked "Would you like a drink?" it would have made more sense. It would still be trite, but "Do you drink?" directly implies that you're offering something alcoholic, as all normal human beings need to drink beverages of some sort if they wish to continue, you know, being alive.
“Yeah, thanks for nothing! Will you get me out of here?”
“I may be young, but I’m not stupid,” she said.
“Oh, sorry, didn’t realize that detail.” A better comeback would have been: "Oh, apologies, love. I didn't realize there was a difference." I'm just saying.
“Hardy, har, har! Very funny.” Actually, as written, it really, really wasn't.
“So will you?” he asked again.
“I don’t really trust you, not yet,” she wasn’t used to this kind of person.
“Oh come on, Gwyneth! If you don’t get me out now, tomorrow I’ll be dead!” he exclaimed, “I promise not to harm you in any way if you get me out of here,” he took off his hat and putting it on his chest. He wore a red bandana.
“Oh? Is that so?”
“I can’t lie to a pretty lady,” he said. Funny. I was under the impression that Jack did quite a lot of lying to ladies. Especially pretty ones.
“Fine. But I don’t know how to get you out.” Jack broke out into a smile remembering when Will helped him escape.
“Okay, go over there and get something like a bench.” She obeyed. “Now put one side of the legs at the bottom of the bars.” Again she obeyed. “Then push up, there’s a good girl.” She pushed hard. BANG! The door popped free. Uhm, I question whether or not an adolescent girl would possess enough strength to pull that off. At least, not without the door falling on her and crushing her. Oh. That's a happy thought.
“Come on, someone will have heard that,” Must we always steal scenes and lines from the movie? It's so tiresome. she said leading a now free Jack to the door that lead to a “secret passage” that brought you to the Blacksmith Shop. How convenient. And illogical. Jack looked around and picked up a sword.
“Are you any good?” he asked her.
“A little,” she said while picking up her favorite sword and did a butterfly sweep. She was about to do another but Jack blocked it. He struck and Gwyneth blocked. He struck again and she block furiously. “I thought you said you weren’t going to hurt me!” she yelled over the clinging of the swords. “
“So far I’m not!” he replied. That’s when Gwyneth decided to strike hard and fast. With one swift movement she had Jack disarmed and pinned against the wall. One day, these people will research swordfighting so that they'll understand why an adolescent girl beating a grown man in a swordfight is extremely implausible. Yes, it is possible that they'll research one day or at least garner a basic understanding of physics and some of the major biological differences between men and adolescent girls that make men stronger and as such more likely to win in a physical confrontation! Shut up. Lalalalala. I can't hear you! *covers ears and hums to herself*
So, did you love it? Even if you hated it on your review that you’re going to write don’t just put that sucks, tell me why it sucks. So. very. tempting. Thanks!
Wow. This is wildly inappropriate.
With one swift movement Gwyneth had Jack disarmed and pinned against the wall.
“You’re good,” he admitted, still pinned.
“I don’t need a pirate to tell me that,” she put her sword in her hilt. One day, this Suethor will realize that a sword is stored in a sheath (or the body of your unsuspecting victim) and that a hilt is the handle. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go and gaze out of the bay window of my beach house in Egypt. There's a lovely view of a river.
“You act almost exactly as your father, and look almost exactly like your mother,” Jack pointed out.
“People say that all the time,” she said, “By the way, how do you know my father?” I have a better question. Where the hell is he?
“Oh, we’re friends from way back, you could say.” He put his hand around her waist. Gwyneth felt very uncomfortable with his hand there. Then he pulled it away very fast, leaving her feeling lighter.
“Why would my father be friends with a pirate?” she asked.
“He never told you?”
“Obviously not.”
“Your father is a pirate,” Jack explained, “I mean he has pirate blood running through his veins, your veins.” When he said this he was holding her arm tracing her veins. Gwyneth pulled her arm away rather quickly.
“Oh? Is that so? Then who was the pirate in my family?” she asked.
“His name was BootstrapBill Turner. A good pirate. He wasn’t the kind of pirate that wouldn’t tell their own mother the time of day unless they had a good reason.”
“Are you the good kind of pirate?” she asked, eyebrows raised. He inched closer to her.
“You could say that.” He took two small steps towards her.
“Don’t you dare take one more step towards me or I’ll-I’ll,” she reached inside her dress realizing the pistol was gone.
“You dirty, cheating, scoundrel! I should have left you to die!” She was shaking. Not with fear but with anger. He pulled out the pistol and cocked it.
“Really, you should never, ever trust a pirate. Even a charming one like me,” Jack said and then pulled her so his arm was around her waist and over her arms, and his right hand bearing the gun was pressed against her back.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine if you stick with me and you don’t scream or anything. I promised I wouldn’t hurt you, so do as I say and I’ll keep that promise.” Jack could feel her trembling and could almost smell the fear from her.
“I don’t scream, and I don’t ever get scared.” Jack knew she was probably telling the truth about the screaming but not about the ever being scared. Because I never say it enough when it comes to Sues: What. The fuck. Ever.
“You can’t lie to me, love. I can feel you tremblin’,” he accused as he walked her out of the blacksmith shop.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked worriedly.
“That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” So... Jack's five now? They stepped out of the shop and into the falling rain. There was no one outside, Gwyneth noticed. Jack led her towards the docks. There were still no people at the docks. That was strange. There was normally extra security on these kinds of days. Of all the rainy days not to be here, why choose today? Gwyneth thought. Jack jerked her a certain way.
“Love? Why’d you have to go and lie to me? You could have just said the Black Pearl was here.” Gwyneth was surprised at this statement for the Black Pearl had sailed off that morning.
“I didn’t lie. They might have just changed course.” She was looking at a beautiful ship that had black sails. There she saw it. The crow’s nest. Ever since she was a small child she had always wanted to climb one.
“Gwyneth!” She snapped back into realty. “Yes?” she answered.
“Ever been on a ship before?” Jack asked.
“No sir.”
“Well you’ll be on one for a while.” He led her towards the ship.
“Oh no! No, no, no! You can’t! I won’t stand for it!” She struggled as he actually pressed the pistol in her back. “Don’t! You can’t! Please, please, please just let me go!” She whined.
“Gwyneth, if this continues I will be forced to take action!” Jack threatened. But she continued to struggle. “I’m sorry but it had to come to this. He spun her around, pistol now pressed on her neck, and he put his lips onto hers. She instantly stopped struggling. His kisses were enchanting. She never imagined her first kiss would be like this. His lips were soft and warm and…Wait! Her parents would not approve of this! Damn straight. He finally took his lips away. Thank God! Gwyneth’s knees faltered and he caught her before she fell. She looked up into his hazel eyes. She saw pity in them, like she had just fallen for the dirtiest trick. Shit! I knew something like this would happen! Gwyneth thought as he dragged her onto the ship. I knew I would fall for this kind of trick! Good, he only had one of her arms captive. She put her hand on her sword hilt and drew the sword. He still did not notice. With a swift movement she cut his shoulder. He yelped and tumbled over her. They rolled a bit, then, after 5 minutes Jack had her pinned to the ground, pistol at her jaw.
“Gwyneth, I have never killed a women before, and I am not afraid to either.”
Whew! Let’s take a breather! I am ending this at a cliffhanger because one: I want you to read the next chapter, and two: I wish to get reviews! Thank you sooooo much for reading!
The End. Thank God.
Voices from the Clearwater drew Jack’s attention. Will. Elizabeth, was all he thought. Good, they’re safe.
“Jack!” Gwen cried happily before she thrust her arms around his neck earning a confused look from Elizabeth and Will. Jack grinned unclinging Gwen from his neck.
“Later love,” Jack whispered into Gwen’s ear. She turned away embarrassed.
“Jack,” Will breathed before embracing the pirate.
“I’m not going anyway soon, lad,” Jack reassured him. Will hesitated then stepped away.
“Elizabeth,” said Jack curiously. Elizabeth blinked.
“Yes Captain Sparrow?” she asked. He opened his arms.
“No hug for Captain Sparrow?” he asked with a tiny smile. Elizabeth smiled.
“Of course.”
The crew of the Clearwater sailed away but Lousin and his first mate Drent were put into the brig of the Black Pearl.
Derrick had caught a ship and sailed to the Carolinas to seek revenge for his father’s death and labeling.
Jeremy had returned to Port Royal to continue with Will in the blacksmith shop. (He had eventually gotten tan and fit.) What the hell does that have to do with anything at all?
Hollis stayed on the Pearl along with Anamaria, Gibbs, and the rest of the crew.
* * *
“Jack, I can’t help but think that something’s going to happen when I’m gone,” Gwen tugged at his sleeve before leaving the Pearl onto the Port Royal docks. Will and Elizabeth stood against the side of the ship watching the two.
“Nothing will happen, I’m promise,” Jack reassured. Gwen leaned up to kiss him. He brought his lips thoughtfully to hers earning a look of disgust from her parents. Somehow I imagine that instead of looking disgusted they'd likely be trying to kill Jack. Especially Will. He's sort of hot-tempered there.
“Promise?” she asked when they broke apart.
“Promise,” he replied. Gwen was suddenly being dragged away by her parents.
“Thank you Jack for all your comfort and warmth,” Elizabeth said dragging Gwen away from the Pearl.
“But I didn’t say goodbye!” Gwen said dragging her feet.
“That’s okay, it’s the thought that counts,” Will reassured his daughter.
Jack watched as the Turner’s dragged their daughter back to their home. He put his hand in his pocket and realized Gwen’s diary was still in it. He smiled and pulled it out. He opened it to a random page.
A little locket fell out. He held it in his hand. It was silver. He recognized it instantly.
Fifteen.
Here’s the locket I got when I was born. I don’t know who it’s from but I don’t care.
He’d given it to Gwen. And no, it wasn’t stolen. She had, unfortunately been, well, sort of a mistake like he himself had been. Born at an unexpected time.
Jack was oblivious to the ship following the Pearl. He was too intrigued by the girl’s diary. Because, I'm certain that an adolescent girl's silly ramblings are interesting reading. I'm only twenty my own diaries from when I was younger aren't interesting to me.
END OF PART ONE
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So…how’d you like part one? It sickened me. I know, sort of a cliffhanger ending. Tough cookies.
Stay tuned for part two called Firing Pistols! Hell no.
TITLE: Crossing Blades
CULPRIT: sirius about you
SUMMARY: "Gwyneth Turner is a teen trying to follow in her father's footsteps. As soon as she meets Captain Jack Sparrow she finds herself on a search for her parents."
BEST LINE: "As she looked into each cell her wavy, golden brown hair would too." I swear, one day these people will learn how to structure sentences that actually convey the meaning that they intended. Won't they? Please, humor me. I need something to believe in.
THE VERDICT
It's a short drop and a sudden stop for you.
NAME: Gwyneth "Gwen" "Gardenia" Turner
EYES: not described
HAIR: "wavy, golden brown hair"
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: "She wore a plain and simple dress; the top of it went around her shoulders, and the skirt went over her shins but not down to her ankles."
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Is Will and Elizabeth's 16 year old daughter who is on her own since they disappeared. I think they ran away from her, personally.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: Is Will and Elizabeth's daughter. Is also Jack's goddaughter. And true love. I blame my brother for this. He said of an earlier offspring Sue: "Well, at least Jack's daughter didn't get with Will and Will's daughter with Jack." He jinxed it. I'm sure of it.
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: L33t swordfighting skillz.
Bonus Sues
Derrick St. John, Jack's first mate who Sue thought she was in love with for two seconds before the writer took a poll and decided that Sue loved Jack.
Jeremy, random childhood friend they find swimming about in the ocean who was apparently on some ship with Will and Elizabeth. Jack starts calling him Trinket.
Hollis, another childhood friend of Sue's who appears out of nowhere in the ninth chapter, and acts as though he was always there or something. He apparently used the court Sue, and was her first kiss even though the narrative said that Jack was her first kiss.
THE "PLOT": Sue is wandering around the jail "visiting" pirates. I have no idea why. She runs into Jack. She helps him escape. They swordfight. She wins. He pulls a gun on her and takes her on to the Pearl. There's a struggle. There's kissing. Which is 52 different varieties of squicky. Jack knocks Sue out. She comes too and Jack is suddenly twelve and enquiring about whether or not he's a good kisser and whether people can become better kissers. His exact words: "Can people learn to kiss right?" Yes. A man who would have to be in his mid-fifties and who has probably slept with more woman than he can count is asking a sixteen year old about kissing. Let that marinate for a second. Then again, maybe Jack never kisses 'em on the mouth. Whatever. The Suethor thankfully goes away from that line of "ew" and introduces a Stu. Jack's first mate, who is conveniently only a few years older than Sue. They conveniently have to share a room. They're going to make out or something, but then Sue decides that they're going too fast and they have some inane conversation about love. Sue then sees some ships in the distance. She goes to wake Jack and he locks her in his cabin. Somehow the ships which were only dots in the distance a few minutes earlier overtake the Pearl, fastest ship in the Caribbean, and board it. There's fighting. Sue gets out of the cabin, is hidden behind some barrels, and anachronistically quotes some Byron (she even notes that she knows that it would be impossible for Sue to be quoting Byron), for no other reason than the Suethor wanted to include some poetry.
Sue eventually comes out from behind the barrels and tries to save her Stu by firing multiple shots from her pistol without reloading as though it were a glock instead of a historically accurate pistol from the late 17th/early 18th century. Anyway, she manages to make a mistake and shoot Stu, but, apparently, not anywhere important since he doesn't seem too peturbed by it. The battle ends, uneventfully, and apparently they were only there because they wanted Sue. Later Stu and Jack teach Sue how to drink rum.
I then lose faith in the school system when Sue starts talking about hearing news of England's war with the colonists... Was there an American Revolution that happened in the late 17th century that I've never heard of? Do they keep it out of the history books and only tell us about that copycat one that started in 1775? Anyway, its some sort of big reveal and scandel that Stu was apparently, born in Boston. Sue keeps saying things like "So you mean you're a-" and "Why didn't you tell me he was a-" and I get really curious as to what she was going to say. I assume that it can't possibly be "colonist" since, being from Port Royal, she's a colonist too. We then return to inappropriate squickiness as Sue cuddles with Jack in his bed.
The next chapter opens proving that the Suethor's math skills are on par with her history ones, as she declares that the results of her poll as to who Sue should love are: "[Sue]/Jack 8%, [Sue]/[Stu] 5%, and Duh... I don't know 3%" I sit and wonder for a while what happened to the other 84%. Then, in my attempt to cling to my belief in something I check the reviews and hope that 84% of them said nothing about the possible pairings. Unfortunately, I find that 8 people voted for Jack, 5 for Stu, and 3 were undecided. I became very sad. I take a break to collect myself. When I return the Suethor squicks me out even more by having Jack nibble Sues neck and then tell her the story of his adventure with her parents. The next day they come across some boy that Sue has known since childhood. They bring him aboard and he informs them that Will and Elizabeth were on board a ship with him but it was attacked. They were fighting, I guess he got tossed overboard or something. The Suethor asks, hilariously, at the end of the chapter: "I have a stupid question, what does Mary Sue mean? I’m getting a lot of reviews that says that this is a Mary Sue. Help me out!"
Jack tends to the JeremyStu's wounds and some other random Stu and childhood friend, by the name of Hollis, magically appears on the boat as though he had always been there. Anyway, the evil prate who has captured Will and Elizabeth attacks the Pearl, Jack gives Sue up. Then he goes after her. Will, Elizabeth, and Sue take over the ship. Everyone's ok and Jack and Sue make out in front of Will and Elizabeth.
NOTES: There are no notes. I'm still reeling from this Suethor's lack of basic education.
EXCERPT:
Why are Sues always in the most inappropriate of places?
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Don’t sue me!
Title: Crossing Blades
Summary or what’s in this chapter: Gwyneth Turner finds Jack, excuse me, Captain Jack Sparrow.
Hey! It’s me, StrawberrySwirl! But this time a couple of my friends are helping me! Thanks guys! Isn't there some sort of rule againts co-writing or shared accounts or something at the Pit? Just saying.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
A girl of sixteen walked along the jail cells of Port Royal. Her feet were as quiet as mice. As she looked into each cell her wavy, golden brown hair would too. Her name was Gwyneth Turner, daughter of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. She wore a plain and simple dress; the top of it went around her shoulders, and the skirt went over her shins but not down to her ankles. She occasionally went through the cells and visit people, mostly pirates, who were to be hanged. She really didn’t think anyone deserved a hanging, thief or pirate. There were no prisoners (that she could see) that she hadn’t visited yet. Somehow... it doesn't seem like that would be allowed. I mean she just walks around looking at them? Does Port Royal's jail allow conjugal visits or something? Is she the Sex-Fairy, bringing some last minute nookie to all the doomed pirates? As she walked down the she looked into the last cell expecting it to be empty, but gasped when she saw it was occupied.
The person wore a captain’s hat shielding eyes that were looking at the floor. He wore simple clothing that was mostly black and other dark colors. He sat on the floor, his index finger tracing the cracks on the floor.
“Hello?” she asked quietly, he didn’t seem to hear. “Hello?” she said a little louder. He tilted his head up to her face. Gwyneth could see the coal lining his eyes. When I asked that people stop using the description "kohl-lined eyes" for Jack this is. not. what. I. meant. “Yes?” he asked, his voice clear.
“My name is Gwyneth, and yours is?” There was suddenly a smile playing his lips and his eyes were now dancing.
“It’s Jack, and may I be blunt?”
“Certainly,” she said now smiling as well.
“What are you doing walking around a jail?” My question exactly.
“Visiting people,” she said like it was the most obvious thing.
“Why do you do that?” he asked eyes wide.
“My father said I might run into a person like you!”
“Who is your father?”
“His name is William Turner,” she said, Jack jumped at his name.
“Will Turner?”
“Yes, you know him?”
“Yes, where is he? I need to speak with him.”
“I’m afraid he is not in Port Royal, or he hasn’t been recently,” she said, “Same goes with my mother, Elizabeth.”
“You know that new ship being harbored, the Black Pearl?” he asked.
“Oh! You mean the Black Pearl that set off this morning, right?” she asked. Gloom set over his face. “Was that your ship?”
“Yes,” was all he said.
“So you are a pirate!” she exclaimed, “What’s your full name?”
“Captain Jack Sparrow.” He held a hand out through the bars, she grasped it tightly, his hand was warm and callused.
“You’re not like most pirates I’ve met, they’re normally mean and ignorant.” Then why are you visiting them?! And who can blame them really? I'd be mean too if some chick was wandering around the jail poking her stupid head into my cell while I was waiting on death row.
“Well I’m not most pirates.”
“I know. When I was a small child I only wanted to hear about the infamous Captain Sparrow.” She put her arms on her waist and felt a pistol in her dress she had put in hours ago, and then she felt two bottles and pulled them out.
“Do you drink?” she asked.
“You’re asking a pirate if he drinks?” he snorted.
“Okay, if you don’t want them~” she was cut off.
“Are you joking? Of course I want them!” She handed over a bottle. He drank and suddenly spit it out.
“What is this?!” he yelled.
“Water. I asked if you drank, that doesn’t always mean rum.” That's clever...if you're nine years old. If she had asked "Would you like a drink?" it would have made more sense. It would still be trite, but "Do you drink?" directly implies that you're offering something alcoholic, as all normal human beings need to drink beverages of some sort if they wish to continue, you know, being alive.
“Yeah, thanks for nothing! Will you get me out of here?”
“I may be young, but I’m not stupid,” she said.
“Oh, sorry, didn’t realize that detail.” A better comeback would have been: "Oh, apologies, love. I didn't realize there was a difference." I'm just saying.
“Hardy, har, har! Very funny.” Actually, as written, it really, really wasn't.
“So will you?” he asked again.
“I don’t really trust you, not yet,” she wasn’t used to this kind of person.
“Oh come on, Gwyneth! If you don’t get me out now, tomorrow I’ll be dead!” he exclaimed, “I promise not to harm you in any way if you get me out of here,” he took off his hat and putting it on his chest. He wore a red bandana.
“Oh? Is that so?”
“I can’t lie to a pretty lady,” he said. Funny. I was under the impression that Jack did quite a lot of lying to ladies. Especially pretty ones.
“Fine. But I don’t know how to get you out.” Jack broke out into a smile remembering when Will helped him escape.
“Okay, go over there and get something like a bench.” She obeyed. “Now put one side of the legs at the bottom of the bars.” Again she obeyed. “Then push up, there’s a good girl.” She pushed hard. BANG! The door popped free. Uhm, I question whether or not an adolescent girl would possess enough strength to pull that off. At least, not without the door falling on her and crushing her. Oh. That's a happy thought.
“Come on, someone will have heard that,” Must we always steal scenes and lines from the movie? It's so tiresome. she said leading a now free Jack to the door that lead to a “secret passage” that brought you to the Blacksmith Shop. How convenient. And illogical. Jack looked around and picked up a sword.
“Are you any good?” he asked her.
“A little,” she said while picking up her favorite sword and did a butterfly sweep. She was about to do another but Jack blocked it. He struck and Gwyneth blocked. He struck again and she block furiously. “I thought you said you weren’t going to hurt me!” she yelled over the clinging of the swords. “
“So far I’m not!” he replied. That’s when Gwyneth decided to strike hard and fast. With one swift movement she had Jack disarmed and pinned against the wall. One day, these people will research swordfighting so that they'll understand why an adolescent girl beating a grown man in a swordfight is extremely implausible. Yes, it is possible that they'll research one day or at least garner a basic understanding of physics and some of the major biological differences between men and adolescent girls that make men stronger and as such more likely to win in a physical confrontation! Shut up. Lalalalala. I can't hear you! *covers ears and hums to herself*
So, did you love it? Even if you hated it on your review that you’re going to write don’t just put that sucks, tell me why it sucks. So. very. tempting. Thanks!
Wow. This is wildly inappropriate.
With one swift movement Gwyneth had Jack disarmed and pinned against the wall.
“You’re good,” he admitted, still pinned.
“I don’t need a pirate to tell me that,” she put her sword in her hilt. One day, this Suethor will realize that a sword is stored in a sheath (or the body of your unsuspecting victim) and that a hilt is the handle. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go and gaze out of the bay window of my beach house in Egypt. There's a lovely view of a river.
“You act almost exactly as your father, and look almost exactly like your mother,” Jack pointed out.
“People say that all the time,” she said, “By the way, how do you know my father?” I have a better question. Where the hell is he?
“Oh, we’re friends from way back, you could say.” He put his hand around her waist. Gwyneth felt very uncomfortable with his hand there. Then he pulled it away very fast, leaving her feeling lighter.
“Why would my father be friends with a pirate?” she asked.
“He never told you?”
“Obviously not.”
“Your father is a pirate,” Jack explained, “I mean he has pirate blood running through his veins, your veins.” When he said this he was holding her arm tracing her veins. Gwyneth pulled her arm away rather quickly.
“Oh? Is that so? Then who was the pirate in my family?” she asked.
“His name was BootstrapBill Turner. A good pirate. He wasn’t the kind of pirate that wouldn’t tell their own mother the time of day unless they had a good reason.”
“Are you the good kind of pirate?” she asked, eyebrows raised. He inched closer to her.
“You could say that.” He took two small steps towards her.
“Don’t you dare take one more step towards me or I’ll-I’ll,” she reached inside her dress realizing the pistol was gone.
“You dirty, cheating, scoundrel! I should have left you to die!” She was shaking. Not with fear but with anger. He pulled out the pistol and cocked it.
“Really, you should never, ever trust a pirate. Even a charming one like me,” Jack said and then pulled her so his arm was around her waist and over her arms, and his right hand bearing the gun was pressed against her back.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine if you stick with me and you don’t scream or anything. I promised I wouldn’t hurt you, so do as I say and I’ll keep that promise.” Jack could feel her trembling and could almost smell the fear from her.
“I don’t scream, and I don’t ever get scared.” Jack knew she was probably telling the truth about the screaming but not about the ever being scared. Because I never say it enough when it comes to Sues: What. The fuck. Ever.
“You can’t lie to me, love. I can feel you tremblin’,” he accused as he walked her out of the blacksmith shop.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked worriedly.
“That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” So... Jack's five now? They stepped out of the shop and into the falling rain. There was no one outside, Gwyneth noticed. Jack led her towards the docks. There were still no people at the docks. That was strange. There was normally extra security on these kinds of days. Of all the rainy days not to be here, why choose today? Gwyneth thought. Jack jerked her a certain way.
“Love? Why’d you have to go and lie to me? You could have just said the Black Pearl was here.” Gwyneth was surprised at this statement for the Black Pearl had sailed off that morning.
“I didn’t lie. They might have just changed course.” She was looking at a beautiful ship that had black sails. There she saw it. The crow’s nest. Ever since she was a small child she had always wanted to climb one.
“Gwyneth!” She snapped back into realty. “Yes?” she answered.
“Ever been on a ship before?” Jack asked.
“No sir.”
“Well you’ll be on one for a while.” He led her towards the ship.
“Oh no! No, no, no! You can’t! I won’t stand for it!” She struggled as he actually pressed the pistol in her back. “Don’t! You can’t! Please, please, please just let me go!” She whined.
“Gwyneth, if this continues I will be forced to take action!” Jack threatened. But she continued to struggle. “I’m sorry but it had to come to this. He spun her around, pistol now pressed on her neck, and he put his lips onto hers. She instantly stopped struggling. His kisses were enchanting. She never imagined her first kiss would be like this. His lips were soft and warm and…Wait! Her parents would not approve of this! Damn straight. He finally took his lips away. Thank God! Gwyneth’s knees faltered and he caught her before she fell. She looked up into his hazel eyes. She saw pity in them, like she had just fallen for the dirtiest trick. Shit! I knew something like this would happen! Gwyneth thought as he dragged her onto the ship. I knew I would fall for this kind of trick! Good, he only had one of her arms captive. She put her hand on her sword hilt and drew the sword. He still did not notice. With a swift movement she cut his shoulder. He yelped and tumbled over her. They rolled a bit, then, after 5 minutes Jack had her pinned to the ground, pistol at her jaw.
“Gwyneth, I have never killed a women before, and I am not afraid to either.”
Whew! Let’s take a breather! I am ending this at a cliffhanger because one: I want you to read the next chapter, and two: I wish to get reviews! Thank you sooooo much for reading!
The End. Thank God.
Voices from the Clearwater drew Jack’s attention. Will. Elizabeth, was all he thought. Good, they’re safe.
“Jack!” Gwen cried happily before she thrust her arms around his neck earning a confused look from Elizabeth and Will. Jack grinned unclinging Gwen from his neck.
“Later love,” Jack whispered into Gwen’s ear. She turned away embarrassed.
“Jack,” Will breathed before embracing the pirate.
“I’m not going anyway soon, lad,” Jack reassured him. Will hesitated then stepped away.
“Elizabeth,” said Jack curiously. Elizabeth blinked.
“Yes Captain Sparrow?” she asked. He opened his arms.
“No hug for Captain Sparrow?” he asked with a tiny smile. Elizabeth smiled.
“Of course.”
The crew of the Clearwater sailed away but Lousin and his first mate Drent were put into the brig of the Black Pearl.
Derrick had caught a ship and sailed to the Carolinas to seek revenge for his father’s death and labeling.
Jeremy had returned to Port Royal to continue with Will in the blacksmith shop. (He had eventually gotten tan and fit.) What the hell does that have to do with anything at all?
Hollis stayed on the Pearl along with Anamaria, Gibbs, and the rest of the crew.
* * *
“Jack, I can’t help but think that something’s going to happen when I’m gone,” Gwen tugged at his sleeve before leaving the Pearl onto the Port Royal docks. Will and Elizabeth stood against the side of the ship watching the two.
“Nothing will happen, I’m promise,” Jack reassured. Gwen leaned up to kiss him. He brought his lips thoughtfully to hers earning a look of disgust from her parents. Somehow I imagine that instead of looking disgusted they'd likely be trying to kill Jack. Especially Will. He's sort of hot-tempered there.
“Promise?” she asked when they broke apart.
“Promise,” he replied. Gwen was suddenly being dragged away by her parents.
“Thank you Jack for all your comfort and warmth,” Elizabeth said dragging Gwen away from the Pearl.
“But I didn’t say goodbye!” Gwen said dragging her feet.
“That’s okay, it’s the thought that counts,” Will reassured his daughter.
Jack watched as the Turner’s dragged their daughter back to their home. He put his hand in his pocket and realized Gwen’s diary was still in it. He smiled and pulled it out. He opened it to a random page.
A little locket fell out. He held it in his hand. It was silver. He recognized it instantly.
Fifteen.
Here’s the locket I got when I was born. I don’t know who it’s from but I don’t care.
He’d given it to Gwen. And no, it wasn’t stolen. She had, unfortunately been, well, sort of a mistake like he himself had been. Born at an unexpected time.
Jack was oblivious to the ship following the Pearl. He was too intrigued by the girl’s diary. Because, I'm certain that an adolescent girl's silly ramblings are interesting reading. I'm only twenty my own diaries from when I was younger aren't interesting to me.
END OF PART ONE
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So…how’d you like part one? It sickened me. I know, sort of a cliffhanger ending. Tough cookies.
Stay tuned for part two called Firing Pistols! Hell no.