Shay Leigh Turner
I'm still mad at araeph for pointing me towards this. I could have lived a happy life without suffering through this...thing, thankyouverymuch.
TITLE: Pirates of the Caribbean two: Pirates Return
CULPRIT: Irish-Pride
SUMMARY: "18 years have passed, Will and Elizabeth have a daughter called Shay Leigh and Jack decides to return with news for Will, he has a twin!"
BEST LINE: "'Sponge Bob Square Pants!' Lauren sang aloud." I picked a line at random.
THE VERDICT
It's a short drop and a sudden stop for you.
NAME: Shay Leigh Turner
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: none
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Is Will and Elizabeth's daughter.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: [see above]
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: none
Bonus Sues
Will's twin brother Phil fits here. Jack also has a son named Tiernan who is ShaySue's One Twu Wuv. There are four Puella Modernas whose names I can't be bothered to keep track of.
THE "PLOT": I'm going to make this quick, because I can't dwell on this idiocy or my head will start to hurt again.
Jack comes into Port Royal to bring Will's twin brother Phil to him. Elizabeth dies from a mysterious disease that Anamaria and Gibbs have also died from. ShaySue and Jack's son fall in eternal twu luv. The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse...uhm, the four Puella Modernas land on Tortuga as 38 year old women. They run into Bootstrap Bill. Will, ShaySue, Jack, and Jack's son sail for Tortuga to find Bootstrap Bill. There's lots and lots of really inane dialogue, then some of Barbossa's crew returns and kidnaps all of the girls. Then the fic sinks into complete incomprehensibility and I honestly have no idea what's going on. And I don't want to read more slowly or closely to figure it out either.
NOTES: I think my IQ dropped about 30 points reading that.
This is marked as Humor/Parody. I would have liked to think that it's a badfic-type parody, but I have a suspicion that the author believed that the four Puella Modernas and some of the silliness made the story funny. In a "Hahahahaha! Comedy!" way, not in a "Let's laugh at the author's abysmal plotting, spelling, and grammar skills" way. She was wrong.
One of the chapters consists of this author's note:
Writer's notes:
Thank you rum040189, for being the one of the many people who don't bother with Grammar and only care about the story line which is the most important part of the story. I thank you for this.
Yes, this story was dedicated to my friends but I'd like to share this story with all people who are not grammar freaks and only care how interesting the story line is.
[...]
Thank you. Irish Pride (Maggie)
P.S. Please send reviews!(
I would mock the fact that the storyline isn't interesting at all and even if it was having no grasp of grammar would leave the story incomprehensible anyway, but this level of stupidity just makes me want to hurt things.
I still hold out hope that this is a troll.
EXCERPT:
Random Chapter In Which I Have No Idea What's Going On #1
"I'm so bored." Said Lauren
"Lets sing!" said Ashlee "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me."
The others decided to join Ashlee: Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho.
"Shut up the lot of you!" yelled Bo'sun raising his hand.
"Hey, you can't hit all of." said Maggie but was cut of by Bo' sun's hand. "Ouch that kinda hurt, hahahahahahahahahahahahaha."
"What are you laughing at?" asked Shay Leigh
"He can hit me all day cause he hits like a what?" laughed Maggie
"A girl!" Said Lauren laughing
"Your gonna get hit again." Said Amanda
"Oh, well I don't care." Said Maggie "You know Eamon's more of a bully then this guy we could take him on easy I'm just a bit tired now."
"Who is Eamon?" asked Shay
"Her brother." Replied Lauren
"Oh" said Shay understanding.
"I have a annoying brother too but he's younger then me, hers is older." Said Lauren.
"What did I say just a moment ago!" roared Bo'sun raising his hand to Lauren.
"You know to hurt her you don't have to hit her at all, just poke her, she has sensitive skin." Said Ashlee
Bo'sun just stared at them, Ashlee was lying down arms behind her head, Maggie was leaning against the wall, Amanda was sitting cross-legged against a bench, and Lauren was sitting on a bench with Shay Leigh sitting next to her. All the girls then glared back a Bo'sun.
"Twigg, you can watch them now and get Pintel to help you." Said Bo'sun as he left the room and two other pirates entered.
"Don't worry poppet, your not going to be harmed." said Pintel "much, well maybe a lot later."
"Oh well." Said Twigg
"Oh, shut up the both of you!" said Amanda who was positively annoyed with all these recurring sayings from movies.
"Do you want to get hurt girl!" said Twigg
All the girls then stood up.
"What did you say?" asked Shay Leigh
"We'll hurt ye." Said Pintel
"Go on then, hit me!" retaliated Maggie
"Bo'sun! We need help here!" yelled Twigg
Bo'sun, Koehler and Ragetti came in. The girls then sat back down to where they where before.
"What happened?" asked Ragetti
"We threatened one of them for talking back at us then they all stood up and nearly attacked us, thought you said they wouldn't! And that one there is a loony!" said Pintel pointing at Maggie
"Well, thanks I try to be the looniest I can be." She replied
*************************************************************
"Dammit dad, we must hurry!" yelled Tiernan
"Now boy, that what Will here did before and it nearly killed us." Jack replied
"Your son has a point Jack, I don't want my granddaughter with those five, you know how they are." Said Bill
"Yes I do know, but It'll take them a while to find the missing gold." Replied Jack.
"C'mon we have to leave now anyway." Said James
"They don't know the pirate ways remember those four women are just children." Said Phil
"Ok, ok we'll leave now." Said Jack as they went to the docks
"Well they took the pearl, those five ye looking for." Said a pirate at the docks.
"I have a ship, it would be as fast as what the Interceptor was." Said Phil. "It's called The Princess. Mary."
"That isn't a very good name for a ship now is it?" said Jack
"Jack, they took the Pearl, you know the black pearl, your ship." Said Will
"C'mon then, Hurry up Phil bring us to ye ship!" said Jack.
They then ran up the docks to a ship, which had black and white sails.
"Here she is, The Princess Mary." Said Phil.
"She seems like a very good boat, ship in deed." Said Jack. "C'mon boys we have to hurry up."
*************************************************************
"Should we tell them we know who took the gold?" Lauren asked Amanda.
"No, I'm sure he is still at the same place we saw him last time." Replied Amanda.
"You know who has the missing piece of gold, who?" asked Shay Leigh
"Well, do you remember how we said that what your father went through was made into a movie, well at the end of the movie you see Jack, Barbossa's monkey take a piece of gold." Said Lauren whispering so that only Shay could here.
"So that must of really happened." Said Shay in amazement.
"It seems so." Said Amanda.
"Hey, Amanda, you ok?" asked Ashlee noticing a bruise on Amanda's cheek.
"Yeah, why?" replied Amanda
"You've got a huge bruise on your cheek." Said Lauren.
"Yeah it'll probably hurt too." Said Ashlee
"Na it doesn't hurt much." Replied Amanda
Koehler and Ragetti were still watching the girls.
"Hey what are you talking 'bout?" Koehler asked
"It's girl stuff." Replied Ashlee
"Like what?" asked Ragetti
"Well if you were to know it wouldn't be girls stuff would it?" replied Maggie "Remember your male, a guy."
"What?" both Koehler and Ragetti asked not understanding.
"See, you won't understand." Said Amanda
"Alright then." Said Koehler
The two Pirates then decided to talk to each other.
"Who do you reckon stole the gold?" asked Koehler
"Wouldn't surprise me if it was Jack." Replied Ragetti
The girls had overheard them and Ashlee whispered to Amanda. "They don't know how right they are."
The girls then started laughing.
"What are you laughing at!" demanded Ragetti
"It's a, a girl thing." Said Lauren laughing
"Will you tell us what this girl thing is or not!" yelled Koehler.
"We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request.means no," said Ashlee.
"We knew it meant no," said Pintel "That damn Elizabeth said it enough."
"Watch your tongue whilst you still have it." Said Shay Leigh
"Calm down Shay, they will get what they deserve sooner or later." Said Amanda.
"We're here, get up the lot of you now!" said Bo'sun coming in.
The girls were dragged out of the ship into rowboats to a cave filled with gold.
*************************************************************
"We're catching up to them; they went to Isla de Muerta" said Jack "we'll find the Pearl yet, wait and see."
Jack then started humming "a pirates life for me". "And really bad eggs" he said quietly to himself.
"Jack, I see the Pearl." Said James.
'They are all there, those girls and Shay Leigh' thought Tiernan 'those guys are gonna pay.'
Random Chapter In Which I Have No Idea What's Going On #2
The sight it was horrifying, menacing even. The thing started to take form.
It was Barbossa in his usual hat but the most mind-burning thing about his return was. He was wearing a corset and a purple dress.
"Damn ye, damn ye to 'ell!" Barbossa yelled at Bo'sun.
"Well at least we wouldn't be in limbo." Said Pintel
"That's one of the funniest but wrongness things I have ever seen!" said Ashlee laughing
The other girls started laughing their heads off, whilst the guys looked at Barbossa in amazement.
"Now, I don't think that's supposed to happen." Said Jack
"At least this colour brings out my eyes but do you think it makes me look fat?" said Barbossa
The girls laughed even harder. He then realised what he had said and ripped the dress of revealing the corset.
"So do corsets really hurt?" asked Shay Leigh giggling, trying to be sirius
"Yes, yes they do. Hold on!" yelled Barbossa ripping off the corset showing his pirate clothes yet again.
"I'm sorry captain, we didn't know that would happen." Said Twigg
"Sorry captain, we didn't know that would happen," Barbossa said in a squeaky voice "well you bloody do now!"
"Well, that was a amusing entry." Said Maggie
"I'll have to agree." Said Ashlee and Shay
"Are you alright, Shay?" asked Tiernan
"Yeah, I'm fine." Replied Shay
"Sponge Bob Square Pants!" Lauren sang aloud.
"What the.?" said some of the pirates
"Lauren your gonna get hit!" said Amanda
"Oh, ok I wont sing anymore." Replied Lauren
"Let go of those girls!" yelled Bill pointing a gun at Barbossa from a high cave tunnel.
"You're still alive?" said Barbossa in amazement
"How was it? Eighteen years in limbo?" said Jack interrupting
"It wasn't too bad just no body and slowly being pulled apart and put back together over and over again." Replied Barbossa. "Oh, yeah, kill him!"
"I think your forgetting one very important thing matey, I'm captain Jack Sparrow!" yelled Jack as Will, Tiernan and himself ran forward and ripped the girls from the pirates grips.
"Don't worry men, we can just kill them all together." Said Barbossa
"I think you're forgetting another very important thing, I've got my gun on you." Said Bill
"Oh yes men don't forget to get Bootstrap as well!" commanded Barbossa
"Ah! Old' Bootstrap Bill has come back to haunt us! Ah!" yelled Ragetti
"Surprising how you didn't notice that he is still alive when you took us!" said Lauren
"Oh, yeah he was too." Replied Ragetti
"Well now that that's settle we'll be going now." Said Jack proposing to the others to leave.
"No, Jack you wont make an escape this time!" said Barbossa
The pirates then surrounded the ten of them, forgetting that Bootstrap still had his gun pointed at Barbossa.
Random Chapter In Which I Have No Idea What's Going On #3
"You have no chance boy!" Twigg said to Tiernan
"Oh, really, what if I do this?" replied Tiernan cutting Twigg's sword arm off.
"I'm still good, I .uh.let you take it so you.ah would have a bit of a chance. yes," replied Twigg who sounded uncertain
*************************************************************
"Alright, heres the plan again for the third time, there's only three of them and five of us, so youse spear tackle them after youse confuse them and I'll help with a distraction!" explained Amanda
"Alright then, seems simple enough," agreed the others and they went into their positions.
*************************************************************
"Why the hell are you making us fight you again?" complained Jack
"It's obvious that we are going to win again anyway!" said Will
"No you wont not this time!" said Koehler
"Yeah we have powers this time around!" agreed Ragetti "Even my eye wont pop out now!"
"We will still be the victors!" yelled Phil who kept battling Koehler.
"I'll make sure you won't be!" said Pintel who swung harshly at Will
*************************************************************
Lauren and Ashlee the stood about a meter away from one of the risen pirates ready to start the plan.
"Dude, where's my car?" asked Ashlee
"Dude where is your car?" replied Lauren
"What happened to my car dude?" Ashlee demanded to the pirate
"Yeah dude, where's her car?" said Lauren
The pirate couldn't reply at all, he just looked at them as if they were up to something (which was offcourse right, duh).
"Ok then, umm. ah." Ashlee was trying to think as quick as she could.
"Back to school, back to school to teach my daddy that I am no fool." Maggie started singing.
Ashlee and Lauren just stared at her but got the gest and joined in.
"I've got my lunch pack packed and my shoes tide tight I hope I don't get into a fight!" they all sang
The pirates started rocking with the beat and ended up singing the song too.
*************************************************************
A noise echoed through out the cave, it was so echoed all you her was back to school and the rest was impossible to hear.
"What the.?" said Bill still holding Barbossa's head under his arm
"It sounds like the girls!" said Will
"They seem to be in no danger at all mate!" assumed Jack
"Well, Jack, nothing is always as it seems!" replied Barbossa
*************************************************************
The pirates then realised they were singing and stopped straight away and scowled at the girls for making them sing.
"Next." alleged Amanda seeing if anyone had an idea.
"Ah.who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" sang Lauren
"Sponge Bob Square Pants!" yelled the others but it wasn't working at all.
The pirates grunted as if saying what foolish people these girls were wasting there time like this.
"And how does that make you FEEL?" asked Ashlee
But that idea fell like a sinking stone in a glass of water, which wasn't looking to good for the girls now.
"Plan B" said Shay Leigh looking over to Amanda.
"Hey, pirates, look at me! Look at me! Look at me! I'm dancing like and idiot! Look at me Pirates! Look at me!" she yelled dancing around some stalagmites. "Look at me! Look at me!"
That did the trick; all the pirates turned their attention to Amanda who seemed to be on high and didn't really mind dancing like crazy. This offcourse preoccupied the pirates so they didn't realise the real danger, the other four girls formed a line, bent down a bit and sprinted straight for the pirates. All three pirates were toppled over and one even lost his head, which killed him yet again, Amanda and Ashlee stabbed the other two.
"That's for not getting confused at my confusion ideas!" she screeched
The girls the quickly chased after the monkey who had stopped to see the show.
*************************************************************
"You're an idiot like your dear daddy, he didn't even realised when we took the pearl from him before of what we were doing!" chuckled Twigg
"I'll cut your other arm off!" yelled Tiernan
"I dare ye!" replied Twigg strongly
Yet again Tiernan swung and Twigg's other arm fell off.
"Didn't think I would do it did ya?" said Tiernan about to walk away.
"Where do you think your going?" demanded Twigg chasing after him and kicking him every chance he got.
"I'll cut your leg off!" yelled Tiernan getting annoyed
"Even with one leg I could beat you!" said Twigg smugly
There was another slash of Tiernan's sword and Twigg had to balance on his lonesome leg.
*************************************************************
"Damn this monkey!" said Shay breathlessly
"I know, he's very fast," said Lauren
They then came to a fork in the tunnel and didn't know which way Jack went.
"I guess we have to split up," said Ashlee
"Ashlee, Lauren and I will go this way and you and Maggie go that way, ok," Amada told Shay Leigh
"Couldn't we go with Shay!" complained Ashlee and Lauren
"Fine then, come on!" said Amanda as Maggie and herself went through into the left tunnel and the others went into the one on the right.
*************************************************************
"There, I don't have to bother with you no longer," said Tiernan
"No way, argh," said Twigg hopping into Tiernan.
"That it!" said Tiernan as he swung again and Twigg's leg fell to the ground and so did him.
"Alright then, we'll call it a draw!" said Twigg
Tiernan then went to follow the girls. "I'm going to help the girls, later!" he said starting to talk like the girls himself.
"Hey, come back here! I'll bite ya!" said Twigg pathetically
TITLE: Pirates of the Caribbean two: Pirates Return
CULPRIT: Irish-Pride
SUMMARY: "18 years have passed, Will and Elizabeth have a daughter called Shay Leigh and Jack decides to return with news for Will, he has a twin!"
BEST LINE: "'Sponge Bob Square Pants!' Lauren sang aloud." I picked a line at random.
THE VERDICT
It's a short drop and a sudden stop for you.
NAME: Shay Leigh Turner
EYES: not described
HAIR: not described
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: none
OH SO SPESHUL POSSESSIONS: none
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE ORIGIN: Is Will and Elizabeth's daughter.
OBNOXIOUS AND/OR IMPLAUSIBLE CANON CONNECTIONS/AFFILIATIONS: [see above]
SOOPER SPESHUL ABILITIES: none
Bonus Sues
Will's twin brother Phil fits here. Jack also has a son named Tiernan who is ShaySue's One Twu Wuv. There are four Puella Modernas whose names I can't be bothered to keep track of.
THE "PLOT": I'm going to make this quick, because I can't dwell on this idiocy or my head will start to hurt again.
Jack comes into Port Royal to bring Will's twin brother Phil to him. Elizabeth dies from a mysterious disease that Anamaria and Gibbs have also died from. ShaySue and Jack's son fall in eternal twu luv. The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse...uhm, the four Puella Modernas land on Tortuga as 38 year old women. They run into Bootstrap Bill. Will, ShaySue, Jack, and Jack's son sail for Tortuga to find Bootstrap Bill. There's lots and lots of really inane dialogue, then some of Barbossa's crew returns and kidnaps all of the girls. Then the fic sinks into complete incomprehensibility and I honestly have no idea what's going on. And I don't want to read more slowly or closely to figure it out either.
NOTES: I think my IQ dropped about 30 points reading that.
This is marked as Humor/Parody. I would have liked to think that it's a badfic-type parody, but I have a suspicion that the author believed that the four Puella Modernas and some of the silliness made the story funny. In a "Hahahahaha! Comedy!" way, not in a "Let's laugh at the author's abysmal plotting, spelling, and grammar skills" way. She was wrong.
One of the chapters consists of this author's note:
Writer's notes:
Thank you rum040189, for being the one of the many people who don't bother with Grammar and only care about the story line which is the most important part of the story. I thank you for this.
Yes, this story was dedicated to my friends but I'd like to share this story with all people who are not grammar freaks and only care how interesting the story line is.
[...]
Thank you. Irish Pride (Maggie)
P.S. Please send reviews!(
I would mock the fact that the storyline isn't interesting at all and even if it was having no grasp of grammar would leave the story incomprehensible anyway, but this level of stupidity just makes me want to hurt things.
I still hold out hope that this is a troll.
EXCERPT:
Random Chapter In Which I Have No Idea What's Going On #1
"I'm so bored." Said Lauren
"Lets sing!" said Ashlee "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me."
The others decided to join Ashlee: Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright.
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho.
"Shut up the lot of you!" yelled Bo'sun raising his hand.
"Hey, you can't hit all of." said Maggie but was cut of by Bo' sun's hand. "Ouch that kinda hurt, hahahahahahahahahahahahaha."
"What are you laughing at?" asked Shay Leigh
"He can hit me all day cause he hits like a what?" laughed Maggie
"A girl!" Said Lauren laughing
"Your gonna get hit again." Said Amanda
"Oh, well I don't care." Said Maggie "You know Eamon's more of a bully then this guy we could take him on easy I'm just a bit tired now."
"Who is Eamon?" asked Shay
"Her brother." Replied Lauren
"Oh" said Shay understanding.
"I have a annoying brother too but he's younger then me, hers is older." Said Lauren.
"What did I say just a moment ago!" roared Bo'sun raising his hand to Lauren.
"You know to hurt her you don't have to hit her at all, just poke her, she has sensitive skin." Said Ashlee
Bo'sun just stared at them, Ashlee was lying down arms behind her head, Maggie was leaning against the wall, Amanda was sitting cross-legged against a bench, and Lauren was sitting on a bench with Shay Leigh sitting next to her. All the girls then glared back a Bo'sun.
"Twigg, you can watch them now and get Pintel to help you." Said Bo'sun as he left the room and two other pirates entered.
"Don't worry poppet, your not going to be harmed." said Pintel "much, well maybe a lot later."
"Oh well." Said Twigg
"Oh, shut up the both of you!" said Amanda who was positively annoyed with all these recurring sayings from movies.
"Do you want to get hurt girl!" said Twigg
All the girls then stood up.
"What did you say?" asked Shay Leigh
"We'll hurt ye." Said Pintel
"Go on then, hit me!" retaliated Maggie
"Bo'sun! We need help here!" yelled Twigg
Bo'sun, Koehler and Ragetti came in. The girls then sat back down to where they where before.
"What happened?" asked Ragetti
"We threatened one of them for talking back at us then they all stood up and nearly attacked us, thought you said they wouldn't! And that one there is a loony!" said Pintel pointing at Maggie
"Well, thanks I try to be the looniest I can be." She replied
*************************************************************
"Dammit dad, we must hurry!" yelled Tiernan
"Now boy, that what Will here did before and it nearly killed us." Jack replied
"Your son has a point Jack, I don't want my granddaughter with those five, you know how they are." Said Bill
"Yes I do know, but It'll take them a while to find the missing gold." Replied Jack.
"C'mon we have to leave now anyway." Said James
"They don't know the pirate ways remember those four women are just children." Said Phil
"Ok, ok we'll leave now." Said Jack as they went to the docks
"Well they took the pearl, those five ye looking for." Said a pirate at the docks.
"I have a ship, it would be as fast as what the Interceptor was." Said Phil. "It's called The Princess. Mary."
"That isn't a very good name for a ship now is it?" said Jack
"Jack, they took the Pearl, you know the black pearl, your ship." Said Will
"C'mon then, Hurry up Phil bring us to ye ship!" said Jack.
They then ran up the docks to a ship, which had black and white sails.
"Here she is, The Princess Mary." Said Phil.
"She seems like a very good boat, ship in deed." Said Jack. "C'mon boys we have to hurry up."
*************************************************************
"Should we tell them we know who took the gold?" Lauren asked Amanda.
"No, I'm sure he is still at the same place we saw him last time." Replied Amanda.
"You know who has the missing piece of gold, who?" asked Shay Leigh
"Well, do you remember how we said that what your father went through was made into a movie, well at the end of the movie you see Jack, Barbossa's monkey take a piece of gold." Said Lauren whispering so that only Shay could here.
"So that must of really happened." Said Shay in amazement.
"It seems so." Said Amanda.
"Hey, Amanda, you ok?" asked Ashlee noticing a bruise on Amanda's cheek.
"Yeah, why?" replied Amanda
"You've got a huge bruise on your cheek." Said Lauren.
"Yeah it'll probably hurt too." Said Ashlee
"Na it doesn't hurt much." Replied Amanda
Koehler and Ragetti were still watching the girls.
"Hey what are you talking 'bout?" Koehler asked
"It's girl stuff." Replied Ashlee
"Like what?" asked Ragetti
"Well if you were to know it wouldn't be girls stuff would it?" replied Maggie "Remember your male, a guy."
"What?" both Koehler and Ragetti asked not understanding.
"See, you won't understand." Said Amanda
"Alright then." Said Koehler
The two Pirates then decided to talk to each other.
"Who do you reckon stole the gold?" asked Koehler
"Wouldn't surprise me if it was Jack." Replied Ragetti
The girls had overheard them and Ashlee whispered to Amanda. "They don't know how right they are."
The girls then started laughing.
"What are you laughing at!" demanded Ragetti
"It's a, a girl thing." Said Lauren laughing
"Will you tell us what this girl thing is or not!" yelled Koehler.
"We are disinclined to acquiesce to your request.means no," said Ashlee.
"We knew it meant no," said Pintel "That damn Elizabeth said it enough."
"Watch your tongue whilst you still have it." Said Shay Leigh
"Calm down Shay, they will get what they deserve sooner or later." Said Amanda.
"We're here, get up the lot of you now!" said Bo'sun coming in.
The girls were dragged out of the ship into rowboats to a cave filled with gold.
*************************************************************
"We're catching up to them; they went to Isla de Muerta" said Jack "we'll find the Pearl yet, wait and see."
Jack then started humming "a pirates life for me". "And really bad eggs" he said quietly to himself.
"Jack, I see the Pearl." Said James.
'They are all there, those girls and Shay Leigh' thought Tiernan 'those guys are gonna pay.'
Random Chapter In Which I Have No Idea What's Going On #2
The sight it was horrifying, menacing even. The thing started to take form.
It was Barbossa in his usual hat but the most mind-burning thing about his return was. He was wearing a corset and a purple dress.
"Damn ye, damn ye to 'ell!" Barbossa yelled at Bo'sun.
"Well at least we wouldn't be in limbo." Said Pintel
"That's one of the funniest but wrongness things I have ever seen!" said Ashlee laughing
The other girls started laughing their heads off, whilst the guys looked at Barbossa in amazement.
"Now, I don't think that's supposed to happen." Said Jack
"At least this colour brings out my eyes but do you think it makes me look fat?" said Barbossa
The girls laughed even harder. He then realised what he had said and ripped the dress of revealing the corset.
"So do corsets really hurt?" asked Shay Leigh giggling, trying to be sirius
"Yes, yes they do. Hold on!" yelled Barbossa ripping off the corset showing his pirate clothes yet again.
"I'm sorry captain, we didn't know that would happen." Said Twigg
"Sorry captain, we didn't know that would happen," Barbossa said in a squeaky voice "well you bloody do now!"
"Well, that was a amusing entry." Said Maggie
"I'll have to agree." Said Ashlee and Shay
"Are you alright, Shay?" asked Tiernan
"Yeah, I'm fine." Replied Shay
"Sponge Bob Square Pants!" Lauren sang aloud.
"What the.?" said some of the pirates
"Lauren your gonna get hit!" said Amanda
"Oh, ok I wont sing anymore." Replied Lauren
"Let go of those girls!" yelled Bill pointing a gun at Barbossa from a high cave tunnel.
"You're still alive?" said Barbossa in amazement
"How was it? Eighteen years in limbo?" said Jack interrupting
"It wasn't too bad just no body and slowly being pulled apart and put back together over and over again." Replied Barbossa. "Oh, yeah, kill him!"
"I think your forgetting one very important thing matey, I'm captain Jack Sparrow!" yelled Jack as Will, Tiernan and himself ran forward and ripped the girls from the pirates grips.
"Don't worry men, we can just kill them all together." Said Barbossa
"I think you're forgetting another very important thing, I've got my gun on you." Said Bill
"Oh yes men don't forget to get Bootstrap as well!" commanded Barbossa
"Ah! Old' Bootstrap Bill has come back to haunt us! Ah!" yelled Ragetti
"Surprising how you didn't notice that he is still alive when you took us!" said Lauren
"Oh, yeah he was too." Replied Ragetti
"Well now that that's settle we'll be going now." Said Jack proposing to the others to leave.
"No, Jack you wont make an escape this time!" said Barbossa
The pirates then surrounded the ten of them, forgetting that Bootstrap still had his gun pointed at Barbossa.
Random Chapter In Which I Have No Idea What's Going On #3
"You have no chance boy!" Twigg said to Tiernan
"Oh, really, what if I do this?" replied Tiernan cutting Twigg's sword arm off.
"I'm still good, I .uh.let you take it so you.ah would have a bit of a chance. yes," replied Twigg who sounded uncertain
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"Alright, heres the plan again for the third time, there's only three of them and five of us, so youse spear tackle them after youse confuse them and I'll help with a distraction!" explained Amanda
"Alright then, seems simple enough," agreed the others and they went into their positions.
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"Why the hell are you making us fight you again?" complained Jack
"It's obvious that we are going to win again anyway!" said Will
"No you wont not this time!" said Koehler
"Yeah we have powers this time around!" agreed Ragetti "Even my eye wont pop out now!"
"We will still be the victors!" yelled Phil who kept battling Koehler.
"I'll make sure you won't be!" said Pintel who swung harshly at Will
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Lauren and Ashlee the stood about a meter away from one of the risen pirates ready to start the plan.
"Dude, where's my car?" asked Ashlee
"Dude where is your car?" replied Lauren
"What happened to my car dude?" Ashlee demanded to the pirate
"Yeah dude, where's her car?" said Lauren
The pirate couldn't reply at all, he just looked at them as if they were up to something (which was offcourse right, duh).
"Ok then, umm. ah." Ashlee was trying to think as quick as she could.
"Back to school, back to school to teach my daddy that I am no fool." Maggie started singing.
Ashlee and Lauren just stared at her but got the gest and joined in.
"I've got my lunch pack packed and my shoes tide tight I hope I don't get into a fight!" they all sang
The pirates started rocking with the beat and ended up singing the song too.
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A noise echoed through out the cave, it was so echoed all you her was back to school and the rest was impossible to hear.
"What the.?" said Bill still holding Barbossa's head under his arm
"It sounds like the girls!" said Will
"They seem to be in no danger at all mate!" assumed Jack
"Well, Jack, nothing is always as it seems!" replied Barbossa
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The pirates then realised they were singing and stopped straight away and scowled at the girls for making them sing.
"Next." alleged Amanda seeing if anyone had an idea.
"Ah.who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" sang Lauren
"Sponge Bob Square Pants!" yelled the others but it wasn't working at all.
The pirates grunted as if saying what foolish people these girls were wasting there time like this.
"And how does that make you FEEL?" asked Ashlee
But that idea fell like a sinking stone in a glass of water, which wasn't looking to good for the girls now.
"Plan B" said Shay Leigh looking over to Amanda.
"Hey, pirates, look at me! Look at me! Look at me! I'm dancing like and idiot! Look at me Pirates! Look at me!" she yelled dancing around some stalagmites. "Look at me! Look at me!"
That did the trick; all the pirates turned their attention to Amanda who seemed to be on high and didn't really mind dancing like crazy. This offcourse preoccupied the pirates so they didn't realise the real danger, the other four girls formed a line, bent down a bit and sprinted straight for the pirates. All three pirates were toppled over and one even lost his head, which killed him yet again, Amanda and Ashlee stabbed the other two.
"That's for not getting confused at my confusion ideas!" she screeched
The girls the quickly chased after the monkey who had stopped to see the show.
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"You're an idiot like your dear daddy, he didn't even realised when we took the pearl from him before of what we were doing!" chuckled Twigg
"I'll cut your other arm off!" yelled Tiernan
"I dare ye!" replied Twigg strongly
Yet again Tiernan swung and Twigg's other arm fell off.
"Didn't think I would do it did ya?" said Tiernan about to walk away.
"Where do you think your going?" demanded Twigg chasing after him and kicking him every chance he got.
"I'll cut your leg off!" yelled Tiernan getting annoyed
"Even with one leg I could beat you!" said Twigg smugly
There was another slash of Tiernan's sword and Twigg had to balance on his lonesome leg.
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"Damn this monkey!" said Shay breathlessly
"I know, he's very fast," said Lauren
They then came to a fork in the tunnel and didn't know which way Jack went.
"I guess we have to split up," said Ashlee
"Ashlee, Lauren and I will go this way and you and Maggie go that way, ok," Amada told Shay Leigh
"Couldn't we go with Shay!" complained Ashlee and Lauren
"Fine then, come on!" said Amanda as Maggie and herself went through into the left tunnel and the others went into the one on the right.
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"There, I don't have to bother with you no longer," said Tiernan
"No way, argh," said Twigg hopping into Tiernan.
"That it!" said Tiernan as he swung again and Twigg's leg fell to the ground and so did him.
"Alright then, we'll call it a draw!" said Twigg
Tiernan then went to follow the girls. "I'm going to help the girls, later!" he said starting to talk like the girls himself.
"Hey, come back here! I'll bite ya!" said Twigg pathetically