(no subject)
Sad.
It's a gray, colourless day today with barely enough clouds and chilly winds. There's a slight drizzle that will mostly likely turn into a storm soon even as I type.
I'm heartbroken and tired.
His case is to an end and the outcome is not what we expected. I guess I always knew the outcome but I allowed myself to get carried away by his hope. His became mine.
As I look to a future without him by my side, I see a loveless nothing. I don't know how to love someone as much as I do him. In my mind, I know it's time to really move on this time but...there's always a but.
I still can't lose him.
I still want and need him in my life.
Love may not be as important as character, but it's tough to move on even with that realisation. Something is happening though. God is working within me. Deep inside.
Lord, why didn't You grant my prayer this time? Why didn't You work the miracle I needed so badly?