Birthday Celebratory Rant (or, my victories over this den of lame trolls this past year)

Sep 20, 2007 01:24

So, today's my birthday.  A time for self-reflection, and a chance to look back over our victories and defeats over the year.

I'm most pleased sad to say that many of the posts I've made to this com since I've joined have been mercilessly and cruelly spammed with pathetic, lamely written porn drabbles from a bunch of sick, twisted individuals that I ( Read more... )

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Comments 22

Because Midna is HOT unedited September 20 2007, 15:47:44 UTC
Happy birthday, mwahaha! And thank you! ♥

*

Zelda has made some poor choices, and she has guilt and regrets on her shoulders the same as any thinking being. She is not an alabaster saint, and she would never ask to be treated as one, but still at heart she is a good girl; she will never defy her destiny. That is why Zelda knows that someday she will marry a foreign prince or a noble Hylian, and produce heirs who will be worthy of her throne.

But oh, how Midna throws all of that into question -- the Twili woman is eerily beautiful and so slyly sensual, and when her long fingers unfasten her pale counterpart's gown, Zelda can find nothing to say in resistance. She can feel Midna's breath washing over her neck, the suggestive flicker of tongue in the hollow of her shoulder that somehow steals her breath away, and the slow, careful exposing of her breasts.

That anyone should touch her this way before her marriage, that it should be a Twili, that it should be a woman, would horrify her poor father, if he were alive to know. But Zelda ( ... )

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Re: Because Midna is HOT vol_jin September 20 2007, 16:31:54 UTC
Oh ye gods. Y'know, dragging Midna into these sick, twisted, delicious porn of yours is bad enough, but violating Zelda? Having her enjoy it? And at the end there, hinting at bringing Link into this?

That's just wrong. Largely due to levels of hotness that should be illegal.

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CAPS LOCK SHOW I MEAN BUSINESS usagivindaloo September 20 2007, 21:21:25 UTC
I REFUSE YOUR TRUCE UTTERLY. THIS DAY OF YOUR BIRTH IS A DARK DAY INDEED, AS IT MEANT YOUR FOWL SELF WAS SPAWNED. AND NOW I AM FORCED TO DO THE UNTHINKABLE AND WRITE MY MOST HATED PAIRING JUST TO PISS YOU OFF.

ONCE I'M DONE WORK.

I H8 U AND WISH YOU WOULD DIE IN A FIRE.

Sadly, I am not familiar with the other fandoms you mention - I did play Twilight Princess but only got to the half way point. I was debating Riku/Hotaru porn as I know that's a favourite of yours, but as of yet the inspiration hasn't hit (it might later though!) I also considered throwing together something that might vaguely resemble Warcraft porn if you squint hard enough at it, but I forget what your OTP is, could only manage Thrall/Jaina and Tyrande/Illidan anyway, and would probably do things to Warcraft canon that would make you weep, like, I dunno, give Kael'thas the wrong purple leggings or something ( ... )

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Re: CAPS LOCK SHOW I MEAN BUSINESS midnightdiddle September 20 2007, 23:54:01 UTC
Riku/Hotaru like, Kingdom Hearts Riku?

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Re: CAPS LOCK SHOW I MEAN BUSINESS usagivindaloo September 20 2007, 23:55:55 UTC
Yes, I think that's one of vol_jin's OTPs. ^_^ Me, I only ship Hotaru with Sephiroth, but I could see Riku being interesting. :-)

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Re: CAPS LOCK SHOW I MEAN BUSINESS vol_jin September 21 2007, 02:42:57 UTC
OTP in the sense that I find it extremely hard to pair Taru up with anyone, and Riku's one of the few I can. Few, in this case, meaning two, sense the only other one I can pair her up with is Sephiroth, thanks, of course, to yourself. This doesn't take OCs into account of course.

I mentioned a while back my thought process that led to my interest in the Riku/Hotaru pairing. It's viewable here, if anyone's interested, under my comment tree.

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RIGHT. TAKE THIS, HOTARU LOVER!!! usagivindaloo September 21 2007, 03:09:12 UTC
You like Hotaru, don't you? Then wait till you see what an utter and total WHORE I've made her! (because obviously any woman who enjoys sex is a whore!) Look at the way she's fawning all over Sephiroth here! It's disgusting! I assure you, he's not enjoying this at all and is instead thinking mournfully of his One True Love, Cloud! I hate you for making me write this on your birthday! DAMN YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL ( ... )

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PART 2!! usagivindaloo September 21 2007, 03:09:49 UTC
Sighing, she tilted her head back, inviting Sephiroth to kiss her neck. It was an invitation readily accepted, and she gasped as warm lips trailed over the skin of the nape, making her entire body tremble with need. She had always been sensitive there, and he took every advantage of that fact ( ... )

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OMG PART 3!!11one!! usagivindaloo September 21 2007, 03:10:50 UTC
A single groan, and he was inside her, hot and hard within her body. Hotaru cried out sharply at the melting sensation between her thighs as he slid inside wet, warm flesh. Falling back against his firm body, she moaned as he began to move slowly, almost lazily, her breasts bouncing slightly with each thrust. Fingers slick with her essence drew away and began to caress up her waist, even as his other hand began to stroke down her side to meet it ( ... )

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TAKE IT AND LIKE IT! PART 4!!! usagivindaloo September 21 2007, 03:13:41 UTC

One last thrust, deep into her body, and she climaxed, her orgasm exploding like the power she wielded so expertly. Her whole body seized as she threw back her head in ecstasy, damp black hair tossing back against the ground. She did not cry out, but the breath she inhaled shivered with barely restrained joy. As if to complete the moment, she heard the answering hiss from her lover, and Sephiroth shuddered in pleasure as he released himself within her.

Relaxing, they lay there together on the floor, utterly entangled, neither particularly interested in getting disentangled any time soon. Hotaru sighed happily, running her hands over Sephiroth's shoulders before stroking his cheek tenderly. He must have sensed there was more behind the gesture than usual, for he quirked an eyebrow.

Hotaru paused for a moment, before saying, simply, "... you make me feel beautiful."

Sephiroth's face was blank for a moment before relaxing into his usual arrogant smirk. "Idiot," he murmured gently, caressing her own cheek. "You are beautiful ( ... )

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