(no subject)
Why do I hate myself so bad? I can't think about anything but my ugly body and face and how I feel uncomfortable... no matter what I try to tell myself, no matter how I try to think about beautiful things, I just cannot stand it anymore- again... Had one of my "attacks" last night... "visions" of somebody cutting a line on my body, hitting me with a wooden stick, tearing my skin off... it gets worse and worse... when it happens I always feel like there is something inside of me that want to explode and it hurts so much... I cannot cry, I cannot scream, but I feel the need of letting everything go, just scream my heart out... then I'm shaking... and still this person cuts... I don't know why...