"I wish you enough." Reference to a lame e-mail forward, but I mean it.
I've been offline for 4 days now, and I didn't really miss it. Of course, I was super bummed girl for Thursday and Friday so you all should consider yourself lucky I was offline b/c my posts would have been really lame. I actually walked into the office today feeling cracked out and unhappy, but reading your live journals and replying to almost everybody (I know, I can't help myself) made me feel surprisingly better.
This weekend I went to Chillits and had a blast. I looked awful cute in shiny pajamas and cat ears that I think I need to wear all the time. I was under the influence for some of it, but sober for a bunch of it, and I got LAID a lot (while I was sober even!). Yep. My first decent (I take that back, damn fine sex that went on for a few hours) since the ex. Nice.
But, the boy RUINED it by saying, mid-sex mind you, that he has too much going on in his life to get "involved." He has too many friends, too much going on at work, and too much up in the air to bother doing more than fuck me on occassion (OK, my words, not his, but an accurate paraphrase nonetheless--and he still fucks his ex, ewwww, messy). Which, to say the least, was annoying. Stupid me, instead of climbing off him and being like, "you're a dork" or something, I was honest and said "I'm a bit heartbroken still, so I'm not really ready for anything either." Ugh. Lame.
Now, I wasn't even having those wedding bells bullshit thoughts or anything, I wasn't even thinking I'd see him again because, well, we were fucking in a tent for chrissakes--it's not exactly the best way to start a relationship. And then, he ruined it. I didn't even feel like hanging around with him after, so I didn't too much.
At one point, I ended up hanging out with DJ guy (remember him from way back?) and he started being all nice and chatty. Normally, when I see him at raves, he sort of runs away from me--which is sort of embarassing really. So, when he came and plopped hisself down next to me and started chatting, it took me a second to realize he was only being nice b/c he was high. Sigh. Anyhow, he ends up telling me how this girl really likes him and likes her, but she likes him more and he's just not ready to get involved, blah, blah, blah. I just kept my mouth shut and thought--what the hell? I SWEAR he must have been the fourth guy this weekend (not counting tent sex guy) to tell me this sort of bullshit (thankfully about someone else). What gives?
I told my friend Carolyn about these comments and she thought it might be a peter pan complex among rave boys. I got all pissy after hearing that, thinking "Yeah, they suck, I shouldn't bother scoping those guys anymore, they suck!" Well, as a 28 year old woman (soon to be 29! hoorah) with less than a handful of relationships to her name and now casual tent sex under her belt, I can't say I'm not a bit peter pan-ish myself. I guess, when it's right, it is, when it isn't, you bitch about it to random women at raves when you're high.
In all, it was an entertaining, learning, weekend. The best kind. And I got laid. Nice.
This weekend I went to Chillits and had a blast. I looked awful cute in shiny pajamas and cat ears that I think I need to wear all the time. I was under the influence for some of it, but sober for a bunch of it, and I got LAID a lot (while I was sober even!). Yep. My first decent (I take that back, damn fine sex that went on for a few hours) since the ex. Nice.
But, the boy RUINED it by saying, mid-sex mind you, that he has too much going on in his life to get "involved." He has too many friends, too much going on at work, and too much up in the air to bother doing more than fuck me on occassion (OK, my words, not his, but an accurate paraphrase nonetheless--and he still fucks his ex, ewwww, messy). Which, to say the least, was annoying. Stupid me, instead of climbing off him and being like, "you're a dork" or something, I was honest and said "I'm a bit heartbroken still, so I'm not really ready for anything either." Ugh. Lame.
Now, I wasn't even having those wedding bells bullshit thoughts or anything, I wasn't even thinking I'd see him again because, well, we were fucking in a tent for chrissakes--it's not exactly the best way to start a relationship. And then, he ruined it. I didn't even feel like hanging around with him after, so I didn't too much.
At one point, I ended up hanging out with DJ guy (remember him from way back?) and he started being all nice and chatty. Normally, when I see him at raves, he sort of runs away from me--which is sort of embarassing really. So, when he came and plopped hisself down next to me and started chatting, it took me a second to realize he was only being nice b/c he was high. Sigh. Anyhow, he ends up telling me how this girl really likes him and likes her, but she likes him more and he's just not ready to get involved, blah, blah, blah. I just kept my mouth shut and thought--what the hell? I SWEAR he must have been the fourth guy this weekend (not counting tent sex guy) to tell me this sort of bullshit (thankfully about someone else). What gives?
I told my friend Carolyn about these comments and she thought it might be a peter pan complex among rave boys. I got all pissy after hearing that, thinking "Yeah, they suck, I shouldn't bother scoping those guys anymore, they suck!" Well, as a 28 year old woman (soon to be 29! hoorah) with less than a handful of relationships to her name and now casual tent sex under her belt, I can't say I'm not a bit peter pan-ish myself. I guess, when it's right, it is, when it isn't, you bitch about it to random women at raves when you're high.
In all, it was an entertaining, learning, weekend. The best kind. And I got laid. Nice.