What I hate most . . .

Jun 23, 2016 14:53

. . . about this stupid, INSANE fucking ff.net debacle is how easy it is to restart the "What did I do?" narrative in my own messed-up head.

I didn't do anything to deserve it. Nothing. Not a thing. 

writing, stupid brain, fandom

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Comments 6

amilyn June 23 2016, 20:25:44 UTC
There was nothing you DID or DIDN'T do that caused or could have prevented this.

I hate being on that merry-go-round.

*hugs*

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pollylynn June 23 2016, 20:35:27 UTC
Thanks, my dear. I know you Know, and I wish you didn't. I wish NO ONE did, and it's so bloody frustrating to realize that if it were anyone else asking themselves this, I would be their kind, endless, reassuring mantra that not a single bit of it is anything they did or didn't do.

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amilyn June 23 2016, 20:51:03 UTC
I wish even more that YOU didn't Know. I mean...at least mine stays away (did I tell you my brother died?) and leaves me be to grow and develop. Yours keeps coming back and back. And that shouldn't even be possible or allowed. I miss chatting with you...and I wish things would STAY settled so you can move along and not get tossed backward. **hugs*

NOTHING you did caused this.

NOTHING you did contributed.

NOTHING you did or thought or have are are made you "deserve" this.

NOTHING you could have done differently would have stopped someone this determined.

NOTHING they are doing is right or fair.

NOTHING you do or not-do could make them behave better/differently.

NOTHING about this is all right or reasonable, and there should be EVERYTHING available to support you in making them STOP.

NOTHING you did or did not do had ANY effect on this other person's intrusion into your life.

**hugs**

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pollylynn June 24 2016, 15:39:17 UTC
No! I didn't know about your brother. That has to be . . . complicated. But I'm glad to hear you are doing WELL!

And thank you for the bottom of my heart for this. Needed very much to hear it from outside myself.

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