Nectarine Sunset 11/14
Title: Nectarine Sunset
Pairing: Eunhae
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Fluff, Romance.
Summary: Hyukjae has never had an easy life. He has been sheltered, living the only way he knows how. A simple meeting with a cheerful young man named Donghae will change every feeling Hyukjae has ever had.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Epilogue |
-
Hyukjae thinks he must look stupid, crying in the back of a taxi. He isn't sobbing and thrashing about. He is perfectly still, his face is emotionless, and the tears on his cheeks are the only real indication that he's sad. He's still pretending that it doesn't hurt, trying to convince himself that watching Donghae walk away from him a second time hadn't ripped out the heart in his chest that was already dangling by a thread. He puts a palm against his chest and feels his heart beating rapidly. He thinks that his poor heart must be confused, worn out, and stressed. It has been beat up far too many times, more times than Hyukjae thinks it deserves.
As Hyukjae tries to calm his erratic heartbeat, the only calming thoughts that come to mind are of Donghae. Donghae always used to make him feel better and made his heart beat in a quick way that wasn't painful at all. Even now, his heart finds comforts in thoughts about Donghae. But his mind finds it strange that the cause of pain is also the cause of comfort. Hyukjae doesn't mind. He can keep pretending, as if it doesn't hurt. While the tears on his cheeks tell one story, his face will tell another. The story on his face is the one that he'll let the world believe and maybe, one day, Hyukjae will believe it too.
-
Hyukjae wakes to the sound of an alarm clock that he'd forgotten to turn off. The headache he's gained from tears worsens as his eyes open just enough to give his arm a general direction to swing in in order to shut off the alarm. When it's silent in his room again, he decides to sleep some more. After all, he is supposed to be resting.
Sleep makes Hyukjae feel better. His nights have been dreamless lately and he's thankful for that. Vivid nightmares wouldn't make his life any more pleasant. He manages to sleep most of the day away in an attempt to keep his miserableness from creeping up on him. Hunger gradually creeps up instead, pulling a groggy Hyukjae to the kitchen. He feeds Cid and then heats up a microwaveable dinner because it's the easiest meal to make for his recovering hands. It's bland and hardly filling but he eats it anyway because he thinks that he should at least eat one meal a day.
After eating, he stares at his hands and is reminded of how utterly useless he is. He wishes he could be at work to distract himself but his hands won't allow him. He wishes he could call up a friend to talk about his troubles but his voice won't allow him. He has no way of communicating unless he wants to very carefully type through a conversation. He doesn't want to do that at all.
The more he thinks about it, the more he thinks that a voice would be a great tool to have. And he had been ready to receive one, his own voice, until that night with Donghae. He hadn't been entirely serious about the surgery, at first. He'd wanted to talk to doctors and know everything he could before even considering the operation. Then he wanted to ask Donghae. Although he was completely terrified, he figured that the odds of Donghae being supportive were high. The night he'd come to Donghae with the information, however, he'd known that Donghae wouldn't be very happy. He'd been angry at Donghae and childishly wanted him to feel worse. He knew that Donghae would either support the idea entirely after seeing Hyukjae's pain or be frustrated with the decision and convince Hyukjae not to do it. Either way, he didn't think that this would happen. He didn't think that it would break them apart entirely.
Hyukjae thinks back to that night and remembers something that he hadn't said, although he'd wanted to. There was another reason that he'd wanted a voice. He'd been to anxious to tell Donghae even if it was something he'd been thinking about for a long time. He realizes now that if he'd had the courage to say it, it could have saved their relationship. Or ruined it even quicker. He almost feels as if he's lied to Donghae by not telling him.
Too late now.
After closing the curtains and refusing to look at the sunset, Hyukjae crawls back into bed again, thoroughly packed with the knowledge that the man that he loves is incredibly close, but Hyukjae still can't reach him.
-
Stomping his feet childishly, Hyukjae groans to himself as he looks around his house. A family of birds has taken a liking to defecating on his usually spotless windows, Cid is restless from a lack of attention, the dishes in his sink are piling up, and his house in general is rather messy. Even Hyukjae is messy, wearing loose clothing that won't be hard to get off, not wearing his glasses to keep from having to adjust them, and afraid to shower too much in case it halts the process of his healing. He wants to heal as quickly as possible and get back to work so that his life will have something in it.
Sighing, he retrieves his phone and sets it on the table, delicately reaching one hand out and pressing each button slowly. He texts Sooyoung first.
“Sorry, darling! I'd love to help but I'm busy today. Maybe tomorrow?”
Hyukjae can't wait that long so he tries Kyuhyun next.
“Out of town at the moment. Sorry.”
Stomping his feet again, Hyukjae leaves his phone and trudges over to his sink, grimacing at the smell that greets his nose. Deciding that maybe he can live with the filth for a little while longer, Hyukjae prepares to flop onto his living room floor... until he realizes that it's dirty as well. Giving up entirely, he sits on the still clean couch and tries to pretend none of his problems exist by drowning them out with TV. This lasts for about half an hour before there's a knock on his front door. Thinking that maybe he'd missed a text and it's Sooyoung, Hyukjae happily waddles to his door and opens it. He nearly falls over in shock when Donghae is the one standing in front of him.
“Whoa,” Donghae says, eyes wide, “you really do need help. You look like crap.”
Hyukjae glares at him but lets him in. Then he retrieves his phone once again and shows Donghae the texts he'd sent to Sooyoung and Kyuhyun. Donghae tenses nervously as he reads them.
“Sooyoung really is busy but Kyuhyun... he lied so that he could get me to come over here instead.”
Hyukjae wants to send an angry text message but he sighs instead and carefully types out a short message.
“You don't have to do this.”
Donghae takes the phone out of Hyukjae's hands.
“No texting,” he says. “And no protesting. I know you hate messes so you're probably living in hell right now.”
The messes aren't what's making my life hell.
Although he wants to protest, he nods, accepting Donghae's services.
“You should take a nice, long bath,” Donghae suggests, shrugging his jacket off and hanging it up. “By the time you get out, it might actually smell like a house in here instead of a sewer.”
Hyukjae frowns but nods again, turning to head upstairs and into the bathroom. He hears Donghae vacuuming as the tub fills. Once he's slipped into the warm water, the vacuum goes silent and is replaced with the soft sounds of dishes clanking together.
This could just be another day, he thinks, you doing the dishes while I take a bath after work. But this feels so wrong and weird... because it's not just another day at all.
Hyukjae briefly washes his hair before he considers his bathing to be complete and then he puts on a fresh pair of clothes before cautiously making his way downstairs. It already smells better and he can tell that Donghae had used some sort of air freshener. The floor is clean and the dishes are done. Cid is happily stretched out on the floor. Hyukjae pads into the living room and glances outside to see Donghae, bucket in hand, cleaning the windows. Hyukjae stares for a while. When Donghae finally notices him, he waves awkwardly and Donghae smiles in return. Not wanting to see any more of a smile that still tells of heartbreak, Hyukjae quickly heads back to his bedroom and sits on the bed.
When Donghae is finished cleaning, he enters the bedroom, only taking a couple of steps past the threshold before stopping as if going further would be crossing a boundary.
“I'm done,” he says. “So, um, unless you need anything else, I guess I'll just... go.”
As Donghae is turning, Hyukjae stands and stomps his foot lightly to gain Donghae's attention. Donghae turns curiously and Hyukjae approaches him, holding out a handful of money.
“Hyukjae... I... no. I can't take your money. I won't. That would feel so wrong. Not making me take your money will be payment enough.”
Hyukjae retracts the money and nods, leaving his head hanging, staring at the floor. He isn't sure what to do, all he knows is that he's fighting an incredible urge to hug Donghae right now.
“Hyukjae,” Donghae says again, more softly this time, “I... just... wow. I finally get to talk to you and I don't even know what to say.”
Looking up at Donghae, Hyukjae provides a small smile of encouragement. If Hyukjae had a voice, he wouldn't be sure what to say either.
“I don't want us to be like this,” Donghae says quietly. “You shouldn't feel like you have to give me money for a favor.”
Hyukjae gives an apologetic look and it's returned with a smile.
“It must be really hard for you to live like this, without a voice or full use of your hands... you know if you need anything, you can let me know. I promise I won't lie and say I'm out of town and then send some strange guy to your door.”
Hyukjae grins at that and nods. He hadn't really considered contacting Donghae. In fact, he'd been trying his hardest not to think about Donghae at all. When he does, all he feels is guilt. Hyukjae doesn't realize that the grin on his face has fallen until Donghae's next words.
“What's wrong? I mean... well, I'd ask you to tell me but... I guess that's pretty difficult for you.”
Donghae is just as concerned and kind as ever, looking carefully at Hyukjae to try and determine what's bothering him. It only makes Hyukjae feel more broken.
Maybe if we just talk about it, we can...
Hyukjae turns swiftly, heading for the laptop on his bed. Donghae follows quickly and blocks Hyukjae from reaching it.
“Hey! You're not allowed! Doctor's orders, remember?”
Frustrated, Hyukjae's jaw clenches along with his fists. He wants to have a serious conversation with Donghae but he can't. He feels Donghae take his hand and when he opens his eyes, Donghae is giving him a sad, sympathetic stare.
“Hyukjae,” Donghae says yet again, nearly a whisper. He sighs, releases Hyukjae's hand and gaze, and sits on the bed. “I know you'll be angry at me for this and I don't blame you but... I've been thinking a lot lately and after seeing you like this... well... if you still want to go through with the surgery, I think you should.”
Donghae is right, Hyukjae is angry. After being so against the idea, now he's suddenly for it? Hyukjae wants an explanation, so he stares at Donghae and waits.
“I know that it's not something you have to do. You're strong, Hyukjae, and you could keep going and reach your dreams without anyone's help. But... it doesn't have to be like that. You could have a voice and it would make everything easier. You wouldn't have to be this frustrated ever again.”
Honestly, Hyukjae had mostly given up the idea of having a voice. The enthusiasm he'd had while thinking about the possibilities is gone now. He'd decided to continue on as he always had but now, a spark of hope for a better future strikes him as he looks at Donghae. It has nothing to do with the words Donghae is saying because those reasons mean nothing to Hyukjae.
“Your hands...” Donghae says suddenly, taking Hyukjae from his thoughts, “if you keep using them the way you have your whole life, they'll be damaged permanently, won't they?”
A shiver runs down Hyukjae's spine and he feels it all the way to his fingertips. Donghae is right. If Hyukjae doesn't change the way he uses his hands, he could permanently hurt himself.
“If you can't use your hands anymore... then you won't be able to reach your dream at all. So... if you still want to... I really think you should go through with it.”
Hyukjae glances down at his hands and then back to Donghae. There are so many reasons that he wants to have a voice. There are so many things that a voice can do. Hyukjae mostly just wants to sit down with Donghae and map out every reason until he feels completely sure that this is what he wants. He wants to tell Donghae everything. But since he knows that it would be impossible, Hyukjae digs for the deepest reasons, pulls them to the surface, and asks himself if it's still worth it. Then he looks up at Donghae and he nods.
“You... you'll do it?” Donghae asks, eyes wide.
Hyukjae gives Donghae an annoyed look because he shouldn't have to nod twice. Still, he nods a second time. Donghae gives a smile that's warm and encouraging and it makes Hyukjae think that maybe everything will be okay, even if Hyukjae is absolutely terrified.
-
“He's going through with it?” Sooyoung asks, shock etched onto her face.
“Yeah,” Donghae responds. “Apparently the doctor is so eager to perform the surgery that he let Hyukjae schedule it for next week.”
“That's so soon!” Sooyoung's shock grows. “I didn't even think he'd still want to do it. Now he's doing it immediately? Is he sure?”
“Yes...” Donghae eyes Sooyoung curiously. “Why are you so worked up about it?”
“Why are you not? You didn't want him to do this in the first place. Now he's jumping head first into it and you're okay with that?”
“Not entirely but... if he wants to do it then I think he should.”
Sooyoung's stare is so harsh that Donghae thinks she might burn him to death with her eyes.
“Fine.” Donghae glares back. “I still don't want him to do it. But after I saw him... he was so frustrated that he had no way to get out his feelings. And then there's the fact that talking will take some stress off of his hands so he doesn't damage them any further. It's turning into something he'll have to do. It's the logical answer.”
“I don't understand you.” Sooyoung sounds drained of energy just from being near Donghae. “And I don't get Hyukjae. I don't know why I'm friends with either of you. You're crazy. And dramatic. Yeah, my life was much less dramatic before you. I think I need new friends.”
“I'm sitting right here, you know.”
“Yeah. At my kitchen table. Drinking my tea. Pouring drama into my life. Why are you here?”
“Sooyoung,” Donghae whines.
“No,” Sooyoung says sternly, “don't give me that puppy dog look. You and Hyukjae both have those stupid faces that make me want to hug you and feed you cookies. Or dog treats.”
Donghae smiles at that, staring into his tea and clearly having a moment in his head. Sooyoung clears her throat.
“Speaking of Hyukjae,” she says, “I haven't seen him in a while, I think I'll visit him. Maybe he'll make more sense than you.”
“But he can't talk,” Donghae protests quickly, wanting to protect Hyukjae from Sooyoung.
“He'll still make more sense than you. No! You can't make that face again it won't work!”
Donghae sighs and huddles over his tea. Sooyoung stands and grabs her coat.
“Try not to pee in my shoes while I'm gone.”
“Hey, dogs do that because they miss their owners. You should be honored.”
“If I come home to pee in my shoes, I'll neuter you with my bare hands.”
Donghae crosses his legs and grimaces. Sooyoung smiles and heads out the door.
-
The door opens and Hyukjae watches Sooyoung's smiling face become concerned.
“I thought Donghae cleaned you up. You look awful.”
Hyukjae frowns. Sooyoung steps inside.
“Are you okay, sweetie? Is there anything you need?”
Hyukjae starts to shake his head but then stops, takes a step forward, and wraps his arms around Sooyoung.
“You... need a hug?”
Hyukjae nods. Sooyoung mumbles something about stupid cute puppy boys as she returns the hug.
“Donghae said you decided to go in for the surgery. I know that's a big deal and you must be freaking out about it so if you need to talk about it, please do. Don't hold in things you'll regret not saying...”
They pull away from each other and Hyukjae gives Sooyoung a grateful look before he grabs his laptop and leads her to sit on the living room floor. He looks hesitant, afraid to be scolded for using his hands.
“Don't worry,” Sooyoung assures, “I'm not Donghae. You're allowed to break the rules with me, I won't scold you.”
Hyukjae smiles. He carefully types out a message in a way that won't put any strain on his hands while Cid strides over to put his head in Sooyoung's lap.
“I'm just scared and nervous. I've never been to the hospital for something like this before.”
“But... even if you're scared... you're sure you want to go through with it?”
Hyukjae stares at Sooyoung's genuinely concerned face as he thinks.
“Yes. Even if I'm terrified, I know that I'll regret it if I don't do it.”
“That isn't a very reassuring yes.”
“I really do want to do it. I'm just really scared.”
“Why?”
Sooyoung looks as if she's trying to pry some unknown truth out of Hyukjae. Hyukjae can't tell her the truth she wants to hear.
“Donghae told me to do this for me, not for anyone else. It's like he wanted me to be selfish. I still don't see what's so wrong with wanting to do this for more than just myself. When I was with Donghae, the future was clear because I knew as long as he was with me, I'd be happy. Having a voice was just going to be something that would make our lives easier. Now, I don't know what will happen in the future. All I know is that I can either go through with the surgery or spend the rest of my life wondering.”
Sooyoung slowly pats Cid's fur as she reads the message and thinks.
“You know Donghae had good intentions. He just didn't want you to do this for the wrong reasons. And I feel the same. No one can tell you to do it, you have to do it because it's really what you want... is it still what you want?”
Hyukjae feels a deeper meaning within Sooyoung's question. He still nods. Sooyoung smiles sympathetically.
“Just remember that through all of this, if there's anything you need, let me know. I'll be here faster than Cid can eat a chicken sandwich.”
Hyukjae grins and leans into Sooyoung. He pets Cid as well until Sooyoung gets a phone call that Hyukjae doesn't pay much attention to. She hugs Hyukjae one last time before she leaves. Cid whines, sad at the loss of attention. Hyukjae returns to what he'd been doing before Sooyoung had arrived.
Sitting back down with his laptop, Hyukjae opens a few emails. He looks at the estimated price for surgery and then looks at his bank account. He then goes over an email his boss had sent him. Hyukjae will be paid for some of the days he takes off, but some isn't enough.
There really isn't a way to know what his future will be like. He thinks that it would be smart to start saving his money. His job and his paycheck are the most important aspects of his life these days. Hoping for a future with happiness without money, Hyukjae sends a final confirmation email to his doctor and closes his laptop.
-
Donghae is arriving at the hospital with Kyuhyun and Sooyoung. Kyuhyun is trying to keep the mood light. Sooyoung can't stop biting her fingernails. Hyukjae is inside, only kind of listening to his doctor explaining a few last minute details. He's really wondering if Cid will be okay without him. And if Sooyoung will be here soon. And if Donghae...
“And you should be fine to recover on your own after that. Hyukjae? Are you listening?”
Hyukjae blinks up at his doctor and smiles apologetically.
“Do you need a moment alone?”
Hyukjae nods and watches the doctor's back exiting the door. Then he looks down and he breathes. It's shaky and it makes him realize how quickly his heart is beating. He's terrified. He's thinking of all of the things that could go wrong. He tries to calm his breathing but it only becomes more rapid. He's making himself dizzy. Just as he's about to stand and make his way to the bathroom, a hand is placed on his shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
Blinking, Hyukjae looks up to find Donghae's concerned eyes. He doesn't move. The dizziness in his head subsides.
“Hyukjae?” Donghae sits on the bed next to him. “You look terrible. Do you want me to take you home?”
Hyukjae quickly shakes his head. This is what he wants. He thinks.
Donghae sighs. He pauses, hesitating for a moment, and then he takes Hyukjae's hand in his own, holding it tightly.
“Are you scared?”
Hyukjae looks at their hands and then at Donghae's eyes again. He nods.
“So am I.” Donghae smiles but it hardly makes Hyukjae feel better. “I know this may not be much of a comfort but... I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere. Sooyoung and Kyuhyun are here but you know them, they might go somewhere for private time.”
Hyukjae does smile at that. Knowing that there are people there for him feels good.
“Remember to breathe and stay calm, okay? And just think that once all this is over, you can yell at me as much as you want.”
That thought makes Hyukjae nervous for some reason. It shows in his smile.
“Hyukjae?” The doctor peeks his head into the room again. “We have to start now.”
Donghae looks at Hyukjae. He smiles encouragingly and grips Hyukjae's hand tightly. Then he slowly lets go and leaves the room.
Hyukjae breathes. He stays calm. He lets himself be led out of the room and towards the room where he will be operated on. Just before he turns a corner, he turns around slightly, just enough to glance behind him. He sees Kyuhyun hugging Sooyoung for comfort. He also sees Donghae talking to someone. Without his glasses, Hyukjae squints to identify the person but he can't.
Hyukjae is lying on the operating table. He's supposed to be feeling sleepy but he's still struggling to think of who the person might be. He blinks drearily and then a clear picture pops into his mind. He thinks back to his conversation with Donghae earlier. Donghae had said that Sooyoung and Kyuhyun were here, but he hadn't said anything about Sungmin. Hyukjae wonders why Donghae hadn't said anything. The thought makes him a little sad but then it doesn't matter because Hyukjae is in a dreamless sleep.
-
“I thought I'd come and make sure everyone is okay.”
Donghae looks at Sungmin, surprised.
“We're fine,” he says, smiling a little, “but thanks for the thought.”
“No problem.” Sungmin smiles back but it's a little bit strained. “I was actually wondering if I could talk to you.”
“Um.” Donghae glances at Sooyoung and Kyuhyun before looking back to Sungmin. “Sure. Let's walk a little. I have a feeling I'll be sitting for a long time today.”
They start to walk slowly through the halls of the hospital. Sungmin seems conflicted, nervously rubbing his arm and avoiding Donghae's eyes.
“So...” Donghae prompts, “what did you want to talk about?”
Sungmin stops to look at Donghae and then sighs. He sits in a hallway chair and although Donghae is confused, he sits as well.
“I have a confession,” Sungmin starts. “And it's gonna sound crazy.”
“Does this have anything to do with why you've been avoiding me for so long?” Donghae asks.
“Yes,” Sungmin says, heaving another sigh. “I didn't talk to you because... I knew you weren't in a relationship anymore.”
“What?” Donghae questions, utterly confused. “That... doesn't make any sense.”
“I know.” Sungmin looks away, completely unable to look Donghae in the eye. “I told you before about my love life. I... didn't completely lie, I just didn't tell the whole truth. The married woman that I liked... I only liked her because I knew she was married. But she was too faithful to her husband to leave him for me. And the guy that I liked from school, he had a boyfriend. And I was really desperate to break them apart.”
Donghae's face is blank as he takes in Sungmin's words.
“What exactly are you trying to say?” he asks, looking straight ahead.
“I only go after people who are in a relationship. It's twisted but... I can't help it. And I... I remember thinking about you after I first met you but you weren't attractive to me until I met Hyukjae. And then I started thinking of ways to wedge myself into your relationship. Honestly, I was beginning to wonder whose pants I wanted to get into more. I didn't expect Hyukjae to be attractive, but...”
Donghae isn't sure why, but he has an incredible urge to punch Sungmin in the jaw. So he does. Sungmin probably doesn't deserve it. In fact, Donghae is sure he doesn't. But that doesn't mean it makes Donghae feel bad. He feels perfectly content watching Sungmin try to sit back up after being knocked sideways.
“You're sick,” he says.
Sungmin is speechless, holding his jaw and staring at Donghae with wide eyes. Donghae walks away.
He knows that he'd probably punched Sungmin because he and Hyukjae had argued about Sungmin before. Sungmin being a creep and talking about getting into Hyukjae's pants had played a smaller role in the matter.
Acting as if nothing had happened, Donghae returns to the waiting area with Sooyoung and Kyuhyun. Sooyoung gives him a curious look and he pretends he doesn't notice. He'll tell her later. Maybe. Right now, he has to hope Sungmin hasn't alerted security and play the waiting game.
Donghae hadn't been told how long the surgery would take but he plans to stay until he can see Hyukjae again. So he waits. And waits. And waits and waits and waits. He watches Sooyoung and Kyuhyun leave and then he waits some more. He waits until Sooyoung brings him a sandwich that he eats gratefully and then he continues to wait. At some point, Donghae falls asleep. He dreams about the sandwich in his stomach coming alive and wakes up with a jolt. He decides to walk after that, pacing through the halls and ending up back at his seat. Then he waits for just a little bit longer.
A doctor, Hyukjae's doctor, rounds the corner and makes his way towards the waiting room. Donghae stands immediately to greet him, followed by Sooyoung and Kyuhyun.
“Hyukjae is resting now,” he says. “It should be another hour before he wakes up but you can wait in his room until then.”
Donghae thanks the doctor and hurries ahead to Hyukjae's designated room. He enters the room first but Sooyoung is the first one to make it to Hyukjae's side because Donghae is stuck staring at Hyukjae's sleeping face. It's an enormous relief to Donghae that Hyukjae is alive and well. He'd been scared that he'd never see Hyukjae again, that something would go wrong, and he's still scared that maybe something did, maybe this surgery has changed Hyukjae and that this moment could be the last.
“It's kind of exciting,” Sooyoung says, “now that the hard part is over.”
She's standing next to Hyukjae's bed, her coat tucked under her arm and hair behind her ear, smiling with the same relief that Donghae feels. Donghae's gaze shifts to Kyuhyun who looks more nervous than relieved.
“Are you okay, Kyuhyun?” Donghae asks.
“I don't really like hospitals,” Kyuhyun replies, rubbing his arms as if he's chilled. “And it's creepy that Hyukjae looks so... lifeless.”
Donghae quickly looks back to Hyukjae and at first he thinks Kyuhyun is wrong. Then, he looks a little more closely. Hyukjae's face is just the same as it had been before he'd gone into surgery. But Kyuhyun is right, he looks lifeless.
“He'll look better after he heals and I fatten him up,” Sooyoung says.
Donghae smiles and feels much better after that. He and Sooyoung pull up chairs to sit beside Hyukjae while Kyuhyun decides to wait outside.
“What did you and Sungmin talk about?” Sooyoung asks once the room is quiet.
“I punched him in the jaw,” Donghae confesses immediately.
“What?! Why did you do that?!” Sooyoung nearly shouts.
“He said something I didn't like!” Donghae feebly explains. He knows that his actions weren't very mature but he still wants to defend himself.
“Well... what did he say?”
“He...” Donghae pauses. “What he told me... even if it was wrong, it was still something he told me in confidence. I don't feel right telling someone else.”
Sooyoung eyes Donghae suspiciously and then sighs. “Fine,” she says. She sits quietly for a moment, thinking. “It was about Hyukjae, wasn't it?”
“Huh?” Donghae blurts out dumbly. “What makes you think that?”
“Only something related to Hyukjae would get you that worked up.”
Sooyoung looks at him steadily and Donghae looks away guiltily.
“I still really don't understand you guys,” Sooyoung says, a mix of amusement and exasperation.
“What do you mean?” Donghae asks innocently.
Sooyoung looks at him, smiles, and smooths down a strand of hair on the side of his head.
“Nothing,” she says. “Just thinking out loud.”
-
Hyukjae wakes and he can't even open an eyelid. He hears voices but he can't grasp onto a word long enough to understand what they're saying. He shifts slightly and falls back asleep. The next time he wakes, he manages to blink once before slipping away from consciousness once again. The third time he wakes, he feels fingers touching his arm. It tickles.
“Whoa,” Sooyoung says, “he has really soft arm hair. Why didn't you tell me he had soft arm hair?”
“Why would I ever tell you that?” Donghae asks incredulously. “Is... is he waking up?”
“I think he might be. Go get that doofus in the hallway.”
In the hallway? Who is in the hallway? Hyukjae's mind is too foggy to think clearly. He tries to remember who had come to the hospital and his memory lands on a face.
Him? He's in the hallway? I don't want him here. I don't want... any of this.
Suddenly Hyukjae is very awake and he feels very wrong. Everything around him feels wrong. His insides feel strange and his mind hardly feels like his own. He starts to breathe rapidly and shifts around, trying to find a comfortable position.
“Hyukjae?” Sooyoung's concerned voice comes from beside him but he doesn't want to look at her. “Are you okay?”
Hyukjae would love to tell her no but instead of shaking his head, he begins to thrash around, throwing off his blanket and letting his still weak arms knock over the table beside his bed.
“Hyukjae! Calm down! You'll hurt yourself!”
A doctor. And a nurse too. They yell at Hyukjae to calm down but Hyukjae doesn't want to be calm, he can't be calm until his body feels normal again. Something cold pricks into the side of Hyukjae's neck and he slowly stops thrashing. His head finds his pillow again and just before his eyes close, he sees three concerned faces being forced out of the room by a nurse.
-
“What's wrong with him?” Donghae demands to know.
“We don't know,” a nurse replies, “but I guess it's a possible side effect of the anesthesia.”
“You guess?” Donghae asks angrily.
“Sir,” the nurse says sternly, “we're looking into it but we need you to stay out of the way.”
Donghae does stay out of the way. Reluctantly. He sits beside an agitated Sooyoung and a comforting Kyuhyun and keeps his frustrated comments to himself.
“He looked so confused,” Sooyoung says softly, making Kyuhyun and Donghae look at her. “Like there was something wrong with him but he didn't know what. He... looked really... like he was in pain. Not physical pain but... like all of his emotions converted to just pain.”
Sooyoung's stare is vacant and she only blinks when Kyuhyun's arm finds its way around her shoulder. Donghae holds her hand from the opposite side. They sit in silence, waiting once again.
-
A/N: This chapter is a bit short but to make up for it, the next chapter will be posted tomorrow. ON HALLOWEEN. I'm not sure if I'm happy with this chapter so I'm sorry if it's lacking but I didn't want to wait any longer to post it in case my power goes out in this crazy storm. ;;