"I can laugh all I want.. inside I still am empty."
I suddenly feel this urge to write, but I'm lacking ideas. I don't even know where to start.
This Monday is Valentine's Day. I wish it didn't fall on a Monday. Mondays are just so dull and long. And seeing people happy with boxes of candy and flowers in their hands will just make it even longer. Wait. What am I saying? I have a boyfriend. But something just doesn't feel right in this relationship. Maybe because it's new and we've only been dating for about two weeks now. I don't know. I just don't really feel any spark when Shawn kisses me. It seems like I don't feel a spark when any guy kisses me these days. ... And it's coming back. My weakness. My depression. My loneliness. And worst of all: my confusion.
I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm unbearably confused about my sexuality. And no one knows it. Not my friends, not my family. I find myself attracted to guys as well as a few selected girls and I just can't take it anymore. I need some varification and reassurance. I DON'T need ridicule or judgment. God, I don't need that.
This Monday is Valentine's Day. I wish it didn't fall on a Monday. Mondays are just so dull and long. And seeing people happy with boxes of candy and flowers in their hands will just make it even longer. Wait. What am I saying? I have a boyfriend. But something just doesn't feel right in this relationship. Maybe because it's new and we've only been dating for about two weeks now. I don't know. I just don't really feel any spark when Shawn kisses me. It seems like I don't feel a spark when any guy kisses me these days. ... And it's coming back. My weakness. My depression. My loneliness. And worst of all: my confusion.
I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm unbearably confused about my sexuality. And no one knows it. Not my friends, not my family. I find myself attracted to guys as well as a few selected girls and I just can't take it anymore. I need some varification and reassurance. I DON'T need ridicule or judgment. God, I don't need that.