i'm not looking forward to this three hour meeting
Hello hello, internet.
I was able to work on my sleep debt a little this weekend, but not as much as I would have liked. Still, that was because I had an awesome Mutant Party with littledust, chiasmus, and mayatawi, so it's acceptable. We drank mulled wine and watched XMFC (with our own commentary) and then X1-X3 (with Rifftrax commentary). Good times were had. Chinese food was consumed. littledust and I had many explosions of OTP feelings just by looking at each other and flailing our hands, thus proving that we could pass a broccoli test of gayness.
Sunday I slept until two and didn't get any writing done and beat myself up over it. I had a long think with myself after I went to bed and was not sleeping over non-writing guilt, and hopefully came to terms with the fact that fandom isn't everything, that I should extend the same courtesies that I extend to the participants in my exchange to myself, and that if we get assigned an early posting date, it's perfectly acceptable for us to drop out and post our story + art later on once we're done.
Hopefully that mentality will hold over in the coming weeks.
***
So, I try to be self-aware about my own mental health. It's one of the ways I manage myself. And I definitely noticed last night that I've once again become hyperaware of what's in my food.
I wouldn't say I suffer from disordered eating when I'm having a depressive episode, but I generally a) lose my appetite and stop eating as frequently/unless I'm reminded and b) become weird about what's in my food. Not like, processed sugar or whatever, but literally the bits of food in whatever dish I'm eating. It's...hard to explain. It's kind of like when you're a little kid and you need none of the food to be touch, I guess? I need to see all the components, or pick it apart until I can. And if something unexpected is inside, it can put me off the whole meal. (And by "something unexpected" I mean like, "a bit of an onion when I asked for no onions," not like...something that's not supposed to be there.)
Anyway, it's weird and it's a thing I noticed has started again so I should probably be cautious about stuff. It's possible that it's the usual post-holiday/weight of the new year that's bringing it on, but it's also winter, so everything is potentially dicey :\
***
I still need to update on...everything I've done since the end of November. And work related crap. I'm working on it! Today I have a meeting, though, and shaliara's birthday is tomorrow, according to LJ. Since I can't actually write her a present, the least I can do is write some more of my big bang for her. (Also, I'm having dinner out with a bunch of people this week and I'm not about to blow them off to sit in a room and write out of misplaced guilt, so I need to get some shit done if I want even a glimmer of a chance of finishing this by the 14th.)
Anyway, hi, internet.
I was able to work on my sleep debt a little this weekend, but not as much as I would have liked. Still, that was because I had an awesome Mutant Party with littledust, chiasmus, and mayatawi, so it's acceptable. We drank mulled wine and watched XMFC (with our own commentary) and then X1-X3 (with Rifftrax commentary). Good times were had. Chinese food was consumed. littledust and I had many explosions of OTP feelings just by looking at each other and flailing our hands, thus proving that we could pass a broccoli test of gayness.
Sunday I slept until two and didn't get any writing done and beat myself up over it. I had a long think with myself after I went to bed and was not sleeping over non-writing guilt, and hopefully came to terms with the fact that fandom isn't everything, that I should extend the same courtesies that I extend to the participants in my exchange to myself, and that if we get assigned an early posting date, it's perfectly acceptable for us to drop out and post our story + art later on once we're done.
Hopefully that mentality will hold over in the coming weeks.
***
So, I try to be self-aware about my own mental health. It's one of the ways I manage myself. And I definitely noticed last night that I've once again become hyperaware of what's in my food.
I wouldn't say I suffer from disordered eating when I'm having a depressive episode, but I generally a) lose my appetite and stop eating as frequently/unless I'm reminded and b) become weird about what's in my food. Not like, processed sugar or whatever, but literally the bits of food in whatever dish I'm eating. It's...hard to explain. It's kind of like when you're a little kid and you need none of the food to be touch, I guess? I need to see all the components, or pick it apart until I can. And if something unexpected is inside, it can put me off the whole meal. (And by "something unexpected" I mean like, "a bit of an onion when I asked for no onions," not like...something that's not supposed to be there.)
Anyway, it's weird and it's a thing I noticed has started again so I should probably be cautious about stuff. It's possible that it's the usual post-holiday/weight of the new year that's bringing it on, but it's also winter, so everything is potentially dicey :\
***
I still need to update on...everything I've done since the end of November. And work related crap. I'm working on it! Today I have a meeting, though, and shaliara's birthday is tomorrow, according to LJ. Since I can't actually write her a present, the least I can do is write some more of my big bang for her. (Also, I'm having dinner out with a bunch of people this week and I'm not about to blow them off to sit in a room and write out of misplaced guilt, so I need to get some shit done if I want even a glimmer of a chance of finishing this by the 14th.)
Anyway, hi, internet.