tales from cardigan central, tony stark and the bandroids edition
Becca: I don't want the Avengers, I just want Tony Stark and sometimes Captain America.
Kait: The Tony Stark Show: Sometimes He Fucks Steve Rogers.
Becca: That's amazing. That's what Iron Man 3 is, right?
Becca: This is Tony's band. He's like, "Pepper. You"re on drums." She's so glad when Steve shows up and she can make him do it instead.
Kait: I hope they say "mandroids" more in this ep.
Becca: That's Tony's band--The Bandroids.
Kait: Hold on, I have to go have someone write me that fic.
Kait: Becca says to tell you if you don't have anything better to do, you can write about Tony Stark and the Bandroids. It's not an AU, just the band that Tony made for shits & giggles. Steve = drums, Happy = keys, Rhodey = bass, Pepper = cranky.
Kait: Happy gets weirdly into it.
Becca: Oh yeah. Happy's like, "No. No, okay. I can do this. I get it. I have pain too." Steve's like, "Are we ever going to learn another song?" Tony's like, "NO. This is MY BAND. Shut your mouth or I"ll shut it with my cock." Steve's really torn!
Kait: Heeee! Bandroids!
Becca: Rhodey's like, "I don't think I like the band name." Tony's like, "This is my band! You"re only in it because I like you, and right now, I don't even like you that much. I can get Pepper back in here. Pepper can play bass." Pepper's like, "No I can't!" "Sure you can! You can look that shit up on the internet."
Becca: Pepper's like, "I never should have gotten you Rock Band."
Kait: Exactly. She gets him Rock band for his birthday and the next day he's like, "I bought a rock band." And she's like, "Nooo, I bought your Rock Band." And he's like, "No. I bought a rock band." He pulls down a curtain and there's a stage and instruments. He hands her the drum sticks.
Becca: She's like, "I"m not touching those. I don't want to know where they"ve been."
Becca: In case you were wondering, my version of everything is 10 THOUSAND TIMES BETTER.
Becca: They have a song called "Fire in the Pouring Rain." This is SO Tony Stark's album!
Kait: Pepper's like, "Maybe you shouldn't write and market a song about your secret identity and the superhero team it belongs to?"
Becca: Tony's like, "1) Fuck you, I gave a press conference about this shit--"
Kait: Oh right, movieverse.
Becca: Yeah, movieverse. "2) I WRITE WHAT I FEEL. It's a fucking metaphor."
Kait: Steve raises his hand. "Um, If it's a metaphor, maybe we shouldn't yell "Avengers Assemble!" in the middle of it?"
Becca: "What did I tell you about opening your mouth?"
Cap: What have you done?
Becca: Cap hates animal cruelty.
Kait: He probably does!
Becca: Is Cap a vegetarian.
Kait: I don't know. I mean, on one hand, animal cruelty, but on the other, it's so all-American to have a burger on the 4th of July or a hot dog at the baseball game after Tony Stark buys you the Dodgers. *
Becca: I feel like Steve would be oddly fascinated by veganism.
Kait: Meanwhile Tony is like, "You"re fucking KIDDING me!" He's got a romantic dinner with giant steaks all cooked up.
Becca: Steve's like, "I just think animal cruelty is something to consider."
Kait: Tony's like, "Give me that fucking bottle of wine. I need it now."
Becca: He just cuts into the giant steak right in front of Steve, shoving it in his mouth.
Kait: "You"re hardly worthy to suck my dick, but I"m gonna let you do it anyway because I"m Tony Stark."
Becca: "Preferably WHILE I"m eating the steak." Pepper walks in and she's like, "Oh god no." "What's wrong with a man eating a steak while another man sucks his dick? What's more all-American than that?"
Becca: I feel like, eventually, Pepper's has to find the weak link and the wink link is obviously Steve. She's like, "Steve. If you play that song one more time, I will gut you like a fish." Steve's like, "::shifty eyes:: Sorry, miss." Later on they"re like, "Okay, Steve count us in," and Steve's like, "No. I"m sorry. I can't. Pepper scares me." Happy's like, "She scares all of us, man."
Becca: Thor's like, "This is the best! We shot a guy in the nuts! You"re all my friends now! Let's go castrate more people!" Thor's just like, "This is great! I didn't know this was part of being on a team, shooting people's nuts off! Can I be in your band too?" and Tony's like, "uh, we don't have a band." Steve's just, "What? What? We practice every day! All the time! Pepper's gonna kill all of us! And you"re saying we don't--of course we have a band! Thor, we have the best band!" and Tony's just like, "::mimes cock in mouth."
Becca: And eventually, Pepper goes to Tony, "You left me no choice. I had to pull out the big guns." Steve wanders in and he's got an iPod, humming along to Lady Gaga. Tony's like, "NOOOO! This does not express my manpain at all!"
Kait: The Tony Stark Show: Sometimes He Fucks Steve Rogers.
Becca: That's amazing. That's what Iron Man 3 is, right?
Becca: This is Tony's band. He's like, "Pepper. You"re on drums." She's so glad when Steve shows up and she can make him do it instead.
Kait: I hope they say "mandroids" more in this ep.
Becca: That's Tony's band--The Bandroids.
Kait: Hold on, I have to go have someone write me that fic.
Kait: Becca says to tell you if you don't have anything better to do, you can write about Tony Stark and the Bandroids. It's not an AU, just the band that Tony made for shits & giggles. Steve = drums, Happy = keys, Rhodey = bass, Pepper = cranky.
Kait: Happy gets weirdly into it.
Becca: Oh yeah. Happy's like, "No. No, okay. I can do this. I get it. I have pain too." Steve's like, "Are we ever going to learn another song?" Tony's like, "NO. This is MY BAND. Shut your mouth or I"ll shut it with my cock." Steve's really torn!
Kait: Heeee! Bandroids!
Becca: Rhodey's like, "I don't think I like the band name." Tony's like, "This is my band! You"re only in it because I like you, and right now, I don't even like you that much. I can get Pepper back in here. Pepper can play bass." Pepper's like, "No I can't!" "Sure you can! You can look that shit up on the internet."
Becca: Pepper's like, "I never should have gotten you Rock Band."
Kait: Exactly. She gets him Rock band for his birthday and the next day he's like, "I bought a rock band." And she's like, "Nooo, I bought your Rock Band." And he's like, "No. I bought a rock band." He pulls down a curtain and there's a stage and instruments. He hands her the drum sticks.
Becca: She's like, "I"m not touching those. I don't want to know where they"ve been."
Becca: In case you were wondering, my version of everything is 10 THOUSAND TIMES BETTER.
Becca: They have a song called "Fire in the Pouring Rain." This is SO Tony Stark's album!
Kait: Pepper's like, "Maybe you shouldn't write and market a song about your secret identity and the superhero team it belongs to?"
Becca: Tony's like, "1) Fuck you, I gave a press conference about this shit--"
Kait: Oh right, movieverse.
Becca: Yeah, movieverse. "2) I WRITE WHAT I FEEL. It's a fucking metaphor."
Kait: Steve raises his hand. "Um, If it's a metaphor, maybe we shouldn't yell "Avengers Assemble!" in the middle of it?"
Becca: "What did I tell you about opening your mouth?"
Cap: What have you done?
Becca: Cap hates animal cruelty.
Kait: He probably does!
Becca: Is Cap a vegetarian.
Kait: I don't know. I mean, on one hand, animal cruelty, but on the other, it's so all-American to have a burger on the 4th of July or a hot dog at the baseball game after Tony Stark buys you the Dodgers. *
Becca: I feel like Steve would be oddly fascinated by veganism.
Kait: Meanwhile Tony is like, "You"re fucking KIDDING me!" He's got a romantic dinner with giant steaks all cooked up.
Becca: Steve's like, "I just think animal cruelty is something to consider."
Kait: Tony's like, "Give me that fucking bottle of wine. I need it now."
Becca: He just cuts into the giant steak right in front of Steve, shoving it in his mouth.
Kait: "You"re hardly worthy to suck my dick, but I"m gonna let you do it anyway because I"m Tony Stark."
Becca: "Preferably WHILE I"m eating the steak." Pepper walks in and she's like, "Oh god no." "What's wrong with a man eating a steak while another man sucks his dick? What's more all-American than that?"
Becca: I feel like, eventually, Pepper's has to find the weak link and the wink link is obviously Steve. She's like, "Steve. If you play that song one more time, I will gut you like a fish." Steve's like, "::shifty eyes:: Sorry, miss." Later on they"re like, "Okay, Steve count us in," and Steve's like, "No. I"m sorry. I can't. Pepper scares me." Happy's like, "She scares all of us, man."
Becca: Thor's like, "This is the best! We shot a guy in the nuts! You"re all my friends now! Let's go castrate more people!" Thor's just like, "This is great! I didn't know this was part of being on a team, shooting people's nuts off! Can I be in your band too?" and Tony's like, "uh, we don't have a band." Steve's just, "What? What? We practice every day! All the time! Pepper's gonna kill all of us! And you"re saying we don't--of course we have a band! Thor, we have the best band!" and Tony's just like, "::mimes cock in mouth."
Becca: And eventually, Pepper goes to Tony, "You left me no choice. I had to pull out the big guns." Steve wanders in and he's got an iPod, humming along to Lady Gaga. Tony's like, "NOOOO! This does not express my manpain at all!"