Why don't we have a major movie deal in hollywood yet?
(aka, More Tales From Cardigan Central)
Okay, so, I was reading fandomsecrets and I got to this one secret and just... stared. Like, squinted at the screen, trying to figure out how it was a secret:
I was sure there must be tiny text or... something. Finally, I gave up and looked at the comments to see wtf was going on and discovered that there was apparently a glitch in the image hosting thingy. The first few comments clearly saw the secret, the people afterwards saw porn and I saw this movie poster.
I was intrigued, though, because it sounded like my kind of thing, so mcwonthelottery and I simultaneously looked the movie up. Becca read the summary out loud:
Three skiers are stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life-or-death choices that prove more perilous than staying put and freezing to death
We hypothesized what the movie could be about and realized, obviously, something more perilous than staying put or freezing to death would be having to watch fuck-or-die with Barrowman. Which led to us casting the movie with me and That Guy and Barrowman. GUYS. IT'S A GREAT MOVIE.
See, I win all an expenses paid trip to a ski resort. Becca can't come and Eastin is in a really delicate emotional place and Matt Smith has to stay with him, so they're both out. Bomer really wants to go, but one of the stipulations of him being our flat surface is he's not allowed to wear a shirt and it's too cold outside for him to come.
(There's a subplot where he's just GUTTED about this, so he cries into April Smith's frilly skirts as Eastin tries to pet his hair comfortingly.)
So, anyway, it's me and That Guy. (That Guy is this guy who lives in the Harry Potter closet. We don't actually know his name, but Becca was really impressed by his resume.) That Guy is all pissy because he was my last choice but I'm mostly like, "Shut the fuck up, That Guy, we're going skiing." But when we get there, the place is deserted except for--wait for it--BARROWMAN. So clearly I KNOW that something is up. And, I don't even know, the three of us get trapped on the ski lift and then That Guy and Barrowman are stuck in Fuck-or-Die.
That Guy is like, "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" But his pain is nothing on mine, what with being stuck on a chairlift with That Guy and Barrowman fucking. Also, the snow under the chair lift is now fire. Or something.
Then, I don't know, just when we think we're going to die at Barrowman's hand, GDL rides Tucker to the chair lift and saves me and That Guy, as Barrowman falls into the fire shouting, "I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PICKED THAT DINOSAUR OVER ME! BARROWMAN IS TOTES A FIRST NAME!"
Anyway, then we wrote, not the sequel, but the threequel, wherein Bomer FINALLY gets to go skiing! And he's wearing skipants and skiboots and skis and a big fuzzy hat and scarf and giant mittens and still no shirt. And he's SUPER excited to be skiing, but before he can take two steps, he gets hit by a bus, Mean Girls style.
I mean, seriously, guys. A few edits and this is blockbuster material. We will be ROLLING in it. You'll wish you got in on this at the ground floor.
Okay, so, I was reading fandomsecrets and I got to this one secret and just... stared. Like, squinted at the screen, trying to figure out how it was a secret:
I was sure there must be tiny text or... something. Finally, I gave up and looked at the comments to see wtf was going on and discovered that there was apparently a glitch in the image hosting thingy. The first few comments clearly saw the secret, the people afterwards saw porn and I saw this movie poster.
I was intrigued, though, because it sounded like my kind of thing, so mcwonthelottery and I simultaneously looked the movie up. Becca read the summary out loud:
Three skiers are stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life-or-death choices that prove more perilous than staying put and freezing to death
We hypothesized what the movie could be about and realized, obviously, something more perilous than staying put or freezing to death would be having to watch fuck-or-die with Barrowman. Which led to us casting the movie with me and That Guy and Barrowman. GUYS. IT'S A GREAT MOVIE.
See, I win all an expenses paid trip to a ski resort. Becca can't come and Eastin is in a really delicate emotional place and Matt Smith has to stay with him, so they're both out. Bomer really wants to go, but one of the stipulations of him being our flat surface is he's not allowed to wear a shirt and it's too cold outside for him to come.
(There's a subplot where he's just GUTTED about this, so he cries into April Smith's frilly skirts as Eastin tries to pet his hair comfortingly.)
So, anyway, it's me and That Guy. (That Guy is this guy who lives in the Harry Potter closet. We don't actually know his name, but Becca was really impressed by his resume.) That Guy is all pissy because he was my last choice but I'm mostly like, "Shut the fuck up, That Guy, we're going skiing." But when we get there, the place is deserted except for--wait for it--BARROWMAN. So clearly I KNOW that something is up. And, I don't even know, the three of us get trapped on the ski lift and then That Guy and Barrowman are stuck in Fuck-or-Die.
That Guy is like, "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" But his pain is nothing on mine, what with being stuck on a chairlift with That Guy and Barrowman fucking. Also, the snow under the chair lift is now fire. Or something.
Then, I don't know, just when we think we're going to die at Barrowman's hand, GDL rides Tucker to the chair lift and saves me and That Guy, as Barrowman falls into the fire shouting, "I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PICKED THAT DINOSAUR OVER ME! BARROWMAN IS TOTES A FIRST NAME!"
Anyway, then we wrote, not the sequel, but the threequel, wherein Bomer FINALLY gets to go skiing! And he's wearing skipants and skiboots and skis and a big fuzzy hat and scarf and giant mittens and still no shirt. And he's SUPER excited to be skiing, but before he can take two steps, he gets hit by a bus, Mean Girls style.
I mean, seriously, guys. A few edits and this is blockbuster material. We will be ROLLING in it. You'll wish you got in on this at the ground floor.