Shark Attack 3: Now with more Howard Dean
pocky_slash: Once again, I think you said everything funny while I was like, "... my couch smells like beer."
pocky_slash: "Well, when it gets to the parts about John Barrowman's peen we can just fast forward through. I hope there's no parts about John Barrowman's peen."
mcwonthelottery: "Unless a shark bites it off."
pocky_slash: "Has this been redubbed in English?"
mcwonthelottery: "No, everyone's just awkward."
mcwonthelottery: "Do you realize they had to hire someone to make those shark noises? Barrowman was like, 'I'll do it if you give me an extra fifty bucks.'"
mcwonthelottery: "We're missing shit! He's talking bad Spanish to a dude with a mustache! We have to see this!"
pocky_slash: "Then the shark eats the fish, gets stuck on the hook, and the movie's over before it started."
mcwonthelottery: "That would be awesome."
mcwonthelottery: "'No one will know?' 'You just have to learn to trust me?' Blow jobs in the back of the boat!"
pocky_slash: "I'm glad it's 2004 and this is how the internet is supposed to work."
mcwonthelottery: "Why does every word start with a captial letter? John Barrowman doesn't know how to use the internet."
pocky_slash: "Originally it was like, 'lol guyz! i found this shark tooth!!!'"
mcwonthelottery: "'ZOMG!'"
mcwonthelottery: "This movie has titties, Kait."
pocky_slash: "That shark is gonna bite off somebody's peen."
mcwonthelottery: "Barrowman's like, 'I'll also play either of those roles for another $50.'"
mcwonthelottery: "I'm really disappointed that dude still has his penis right now."
mcwonthelottery: "She's going to be like, 'I read your message on the internet.'"
Woman in Movie: I read your message on the internet.
pocky_slash: ::spits beer all over the floor::
Woman in the Movie: "It's genuine. The real McCoy."
mcwonthelottery: "That generally is what 'genuine' means."
pocky_slash: "Well, the type of person who might watch Shark Attack 3 might not know that."
mcwonthelottery: "That's true. Who WOULD watch this? Who was looking forward to this? I mean, beside John Barrowman's mom."
pocky_slash: "Oh, Howard Dean, how far you've fallen. Making movies with John Barrowman and he's got top billing over you."
pocky_slash: "You know there's more than one shark in the ocean. I'm seeing some flaws in this plan."
mcwonthelottery: "I don't know why you would see flaws in Shark Attack 3. I worked really hard on this script, okay? I was seventeen."
mcwonthelottery: "That dog is like, 'Fuck you! You go into the fucking shark infested waters and get my frisbee, bitch! You've the one who fucking threw it out there.' That dog is awesome."
mcwonthelottery: "I hope it comes down to a fist-fight with the shark. Barrowman might be able to earn an ounce of my respect."
pocky_slash: "If he just punches the shark in the face. 'This is for that dog!'"
pocky_slash: "It's just, the way I normally think about Barrowman, when he says something like, 'If it comes down to it, I'm taking it out,' I imagine it ending a little bit differently. Just as horrifically, though."
mcwonthelottery: "So their plan is to outrun the shark. What are they going to do when they get there?"
pocky_slash: "Barrowman's going to take it out, obviously."
mcwonthelottery: "Oh, that's right. 'I'm going to beat this shark with my dick.'"
pocky_slash: "Not to mock your 17-year-old self, Becca, but 'It's so fast!' Really?"
mcwonthelottery: "Hey, do you know what I was doing when I was 17? I was starring in school plays, working part time, applying to college, and writing Shark Attack 3."
mcwonthelottery: "I hope the shark jumps up out of the water. That's how I wrote it."
pocky_slash: "And flies up to eat the hanglider?"
mcwonthelottery: "She's too happy. It's offending the shark."
mcwonthelottery: "Okay, if the shark can't fly up out of the ocean to eat her, I hope he just severs the cord."
pocky_slash: "....you really did write this movie, didn't you?"
mcwonthelottery: "I told you!"
Barrowman: "What's done is done. We can't do anything to change that."
mcwonthelottery: "Could have pulled her on deck by her hair."
pocky_slash: "Or not dropped her six times."
mcwonthelottery: "It kind of is her fault."
pocky_slash: "Are they in a church? They're in a church!"
mcwonthelottery: "They're lighting a candle and praying to be saved from the dino-shark!"
pocky_slash: "They're in a church! They're in a church and they're asking god to save them from a wild dinosaur shark!"
mcwonthelottery: "I had a brief religious phase when I was seventeen."
mcwonthelottery: "He's like, 'This is how I hack. One handed typing and Find.com.' For executive eyes only--he found it on Find.com."
Bad Guy to Howard Dean: "Go tell the press. Who will believe you?"
pocky_slash: "No one, after that terrible performance in Iowa."
pocky_slash: "I hope in the climatic finale the shark unfurls its pteranadon wings and breathes fire."
mcwonthelottery: "Then a hot air balloon comes out of nowhere with GDL."
pocky_slash: "GDL is like, 'I thought I'd be needed.' 2002 he's like... what, twenty?"
mcwonthelottery: "I bet he looks hilarious."
pocky_slash: "Barrowman's like, 'I'm putting you on my to-do list.' He's like, 'I don't even know who you are!'"
mcwonthelottery: "That's okay. Most of them don't.'"
mcwonthelottery: "He's hitting it with a baseball bat. That he just happens to have on the boat. For when they want to play baseball in the ocean."
mcwonthelottery: "Did Barrowman just squeal like a little girl?"
pocky_slash: "Yes. Yes, he did."
mcwonthelottery: "There's still like, thirty minutes of this movie left."
pocky_slash: "The mom is going to come."
mcwonthelottery: "That's right! It's a baby shark!"
pocky_slash: "It's going to come right up behind them and eat that whole boat."
::giant shark comes up out of the water and eats the whole boat::
pocky_slash and mcwonthelottery: "HOLY SHIT!"
mcwonthelottery (re: the pussy line): "Wow. Nothing could have prepared me for how awful that was."
pocky_slash: "I... really don't need to see Barrowman having sex with anyone ever. Does he even know what boobs are?"
pocky_slash: "I am awesome at claw machines. I could totally do this."
mcwonthelottery: "Good, because it looks like Barrowman's having some problems."
mcwonthelottery: "Howard Dean is like, 'What are you doing, you dipshit? You will never win the prize!'"
mcwonthelottery: "I totally want to screencap the outside of the yellow submarine and then the inside."
pocky_slash: "Maybe it's like the TARDIS. Maybe Howard Dean is the Doctor!"
mcwonthelottery: "That would make this whole movie make sense!"
pocky_slash: "I didn't know 'Always carry a spare' was the Navy motto. I hope you Wikipediaed it when you wrote this movie."
mcwonthelottery: "I did! Unfortunately, Wikipedia didn't really exist nearly ten years ago when I wrote this movie."
mcwonthelottery: "If Barrowman ends up sacrificing himself instead of Howard Dean I'm going to very upset. He doesn't deserve to be a hero."
mcwonthelottery: "They flipped out over Howard Dean coming out of the ocean! I mean, I would too."
pocky_slash: "Well, when it gets to the parts about John Barrowman's peen we can just fast forward through. I hope there's no parts about John Barrowman's peen."
mcwonthelottery: "Unless a shark bites it off."
pocky_slash: "Has this been redubbed in English?"
mcwonthelottery: "No, everyone's just awkward."
mcwonthelottery: "Do you realize they had to hire someone to make those shark noises? Barrowman was like, 'I'll do it if you give me an extra fifty bucks.'"
mcwonthelottery: "We're missing shit! He's talking bad Spanish to a dude with a mustache! We have to see this!"
pocky_slash: "Then the shark eats the fish, gets stuck on the hook, and the movie's over before it started."
mcwonthelottery: "That would be awesome."
mcwonthelottery: "'No one will know?' 'You just have to learn to trust me?' Blow jobs in the back of the boat!"
pocky_slash: "I'm glad it's 2004 and this is how the internet is supposed to work."
mcwonthelottery: "Why does every word start with a captial letter? John Barrowman doesn't know how to use the internet."
pocky_slash: "Originally it was like, 'lol guyz! i found this shark tooth!!!'"
mcwonthelottery: "'ZOMG!'"
mcwonthelottery: "This movie has titties, Kait."
pocky_slash: "That shark is gonna bite off somebody's peen."
mcwonthelottery: "Barrowman's like, 'I'll also play either of those roles for another $50.'"
mcwonthelottery: "I'm really disappointed that dude still has his penis right now."
mcwonthelottery: "She's going to be like, 'I read your message on the internet.'"
Woman in Movie: I read your message on the internet.
pocky_slash: ::spits beer all over the floor::
Woman in the Movie: "It's genuine. The real McCoy."
mcwonthelottery: "That generally is what 'genuine' means."
pocky_slash: "Well, the type of person who might watch Shark Attack 3 might not know that."
mcwonthelottery: "That's true. Who WOULD watch this? Who was looking forward to this? I mean, beside John Barrowman's mom."
pocky_slash: "Oh, Howard Dean, how far you've fallen. Making movies with John Barrowman and he's got top billing over you."
pocky_slash: "You know there's more than one shark in the ocean. I'm seeing some flaws in this plan."
mcwonthelottery: "I don't know why you would see flaws in Shark Attack 3. I worked really hard on this script, okay? I was seventeen."
mcwonthelottery: "That dog is like, 'Fuck you! You go into the fucking shark infested waters and get my frisbee, bitch! You've the one who fucking threw it out there.' That dog is awesome."
mcwonthelottery: "I hope it comes down to a fist-fight with the shark. Barrowman might be able to earn an ounce of my respect."
pocky_slash: "If he just punches the shark in the face. 'This is for that dog!'"
pocky_slash: "It's just, the way I normally think about Barrowman, when he says something like, 'If it comes down to it, I'm taking it out,' I imagine it ending a little bit differently. Just as horrifically, though."
mcwonthelottery: "So their plan is to outrun the shark. What are they going to do when they get there?"
pocky_slash: "Barrowman's going to take it out, obviously."
mcwonthelottery: "Oh, that's right. 'I'm going to beat this shark with my dick.'"
pocky_slash: "Not to mock your 17-year-old self, Becca, but 'It's so fast!' Really?"
mcwonthelottery: "Hey, do you know what I was doing when I was 17? I was starring in school plays, working part time, applying to college, and writing Shark Attack 3."
mcwonthelottery: "I hope the shark jumps up out of the water. That's how I wrote it."
pocky_slash: "And flies up to eat the hanglider?"
mcwonthelottery: "She's too happy. It's offending the shark."
mcwonthelottery: "Okay, if the shark can't fly up out of the ocean to eat her, I hope he just severs the cord."
pocky_slash: "....you really did write this movie, didn't you?"
mcwonthelottery: "I told you!"
Barrowman: "What's done is done. We can't do anything to change that."
mcwonthelottery: "Could have pulled her on deck by her hair."
pocky_slash: "Or not dropped her six times."
mcwonthelottery: "It kind of is her fault."
pocky_slash: "Are they in a church? They're in a church!"
mcwonthelottery: "They're lighting a candle and praying to be saved from the dino-shark!"
pocky_slash: "They're in a church! They're in a church and they're asking god to save them from a wild dinosaur shark!"
mcwonthelottery: "I had a brief religious phase when I was seventeen."
mcwonthelottery: "He's like, 'This is how I hack. One handed typing and Find.com.' For executive eyes only--he found it on Find.com."
Bad Guy to Howard Dean: "Go tell the press. Who will believe you?"
pocky_slash: "No one, after that terrible performance in Iowa."
pocky_slash: "I hope in the climatic finale the shark unfurls its pteranadon wings and breathes fire."
mcwonthelottery: "Then a hot air balloon comes out of nowhere with GDL."
pocky_slash: "GDL is like, 'I thought I'd be needed.' 2002 he's like... what, twenty?"
mcwonthelottery: "I bet he looks hilarious."
pocky_slash: "Barrowman's like, 'I'm putting you on my to-do list.' He's like, 'I don't even know who you are!'"
mcwonthelottery: "That's okay. Most of them don't.'"
mcwonthelottery: "He's hitting it with a baseball bat. That he just happens to have on the boat. For when they want to play baseball in the ocean."
mcwonthelottery: "Did Barrowman just squeal like a little girl?"
pocky_slash: "Yes. Yes, he did."
mcwonthelottery: "There's still like, thirty minutes of this movie left."
pocky_slash: "The mom is going to come."
mcwonthelottery: "That's right! It's a baby shark!"
pocky_slash: "It's going to come right up behind them and eat that whole boat."
::giant shark comes up out of the water and eats the whole boat::
pocky_slash and mcwonthelottery: "HOLY SHIT!"
mcwonthelottery (re: the pussy line): "Wow. Nothing could have prepared me for how awful that was."
pocky_slash: "I... really don't need to see Barrowman having sex with anyone ever. Does he even know what boobs are?"
pocky_slash: "I am awesome at claw machines. I could totally do this."
mcwonthelottery: "Good, because it looks like Barrowman's having some problems."
mcwonthelottery: "Howard Dean is like, 'What are you doing, you dipshit? You will never win the prize!'"
mcwonthelottery: "I totally want to screencap the outside of the yellow submarine and then the inside."
pocky_slash: "Maybe it's like the TARDIS. Maybe Howard Dean is the Doctor!"
mcwonthelottery: "That would make this whole movie make sense!"
pocky_slash: "I didn't know 'Always carry a spare' was the Navy motto. I hope you Wikipediaed it when you wrote this movie."
mcwonthelottery: "I did! Unfortunately, Wikipedia didn't really exist nearly ten years ago when I wrote this movie."
mcwonthelottery: "If Barrowman ends up sacrificing himself instead of Howard Dean I'm going to very upset. He doesn't deserve to be a hero."
mcwonthelottery: "They flipped out over Howard Dean coming out of the ocean! I mean, I would too."