Update - She called and I choked

[plural]

Actually no,
it was worse
I didn't choke so much
As play it completely wrong

we chatted briefly
she's on the bus back from work
she asked what I was doing
I said cooking dinner
care to come over and eat?

she said no
mentioned that she had a report to write tonight
I realized I had completely overplayed my hand
and backed off

reached into that special reserve of charm
I save for getting me out of potentially awkward situations
and we hung up

I stood there
phone in my hang
shaking my head
and kicking myself

dumbass

even if she was single
playing it back to back nights like that
it too quick

and worse
you know it idiot
this isn't your first time at the rodeo
after all

but no
you had to get carried away

with a single gal
or even a married one
you can sweep them away
into a moment
if you like

pull up the petals
of a white lily around you
enclosing you both
in an enclave of energy
and shape the world as you will

it is easy
it is fun
it is sensual
it is intimate
it is a wild ride

but jackass
that aint what you're doing here
and even if it was
that phone call wasn't how you do it

and
if you want something other
than a cheap tawdry delicious and divine affair with her
you can't even hint of
playing that game

fuck

I am not a man of low self regard
but at that moment
I was utterly unimpressed

I filled a pot of water
set it on to boil
and
set about setting up my iphone
to play some swing music
to cheer me up
while I cooked

all of this
happened in the three minutes
since I hung up the phone

in the fourth minute
with a barely noticeable ding
it was all rendered moot.

I checked my phone
a text message

she had changed her mind
wanted to know if the invitation was still open
and apologizing for being difficult

yeah
I know

it is good to be the king.