tomorrow could be the apocolypse :S
tomorrow may be one of the worst all year. its hard to tell. i have to confront wilko about her lying to me the other day 3 times to my face. it hurts so much to know she can do that and still pretend nothing has happened. she must have some idea that i know, im not that stupid. i was suspicious but thought i'd leave it cause i could be making something from nothing, then calling dani in the morning just proved all my concerns were fact. i dont know whats gonna happen, hmm hopefully shopping @ knox wont be weird. tomorow nite could be a disaster. i know i have to talk to her about it but im scared. this has hurt me so much but i still dont wanna loose our frienship. she wrote in her journal she felt bad cause i felt left out, that was last week. she wonders why i feel insecure and left out and like she is avoiding spending time with me. first i ask if she can stay wednesday nite, she says she cant cause she's supposed to be helping her sister wrap pressies. so im like ok ask about thursday nite so she says ok. on wednesday nite on msn i ask if she knows what shes doing thursday yet and she says no. - lie number one- jarrod told me she had told him she was going to knox with dani. then thursday arvo we all go to dani's for a swim. i ask wilko if she can sleep over and she says shes not alowed to do anything that nite - lie number 2- she later talked about dani coming over to do her hair and stay for tea. they were a bit weird that afternoon especially when me and jarrod had to go, they were very reluctant to call cathy while we were there and seemed very anxious for us to go before they knew when they were getting picked up. i go back to jarrods, and i go home and call wilko at 10 cause i thought dani woulda gone home and i was kinda bored. i call and she keeps laughing and im like whats so funny and she says oh dani sms'd me. i ask about her hair and she goes oh dani didnt get time to do it before she went. then she gets another call and says she'll call back. never does, i sms her later she dosent write back. - lie number 3- i call dani's place in the morning to ask about friday night and mary tells me dani hasnt come back from wilko's yet.
she pretended she wasnt there while i was on the phone after telling me she wasnt alowed to do anything that nite. ok how am i supposed to feel- she'd rather spend time with dani, she is avoiding me, im not good enough to tell the truth to, what else has she lied about. what about those other times she said she wasnt alowed to come over, where they lies too!!! im so hurt and disapointed, i thought our friendship meant more to her. now i dont know whats gonna happen. im willing to fogive but is she willing to treat me like a friend, like she used to. this is just like when dani started treating me like shit. i cant belive wilko, i really thought she was different, i thought i could trust her and rely on her. i held her up as my best friend and the closest person to me and she has let me down,i feel really betrayed. i thought things had changed but not this much, where is the person who once said they'd always be there for me and tell me the truth and i was their best friend. now i dont know how she feels about me.
-2 songs i wrote-
"Hear me out"
Hear me out now, I know the truth. Remember when you said “I’d never lie to you.”
I broke my spine trying to catch your fall but now it seems like you don’t care at all.
Those letters wrote, just wasted words and unhappy endings.
Wasted my breath trying to understand when it makes no difference anyway.
You broke you’re promise lied to my face. My heart bleeds now such pain, disgrace. Burnt my trust you wear me down, I’m nothing I hope you’re happy now.
I wish I could forget what you did to me. Ignoring the past isn’t that easy.
I never wanted things to be this way, I’m disappointed what do you have to say?
Fragile and thin my patience is wearing thankyou for deceiving me into caring.
Cannot hide behind the lie this time, just tell me why.
"Forgive and forget"
You’re hiding behind this curtain of bright white, deceiving everyone to believe you’re so perfect. A shadow is cast over all of your lies and you’re calling out. No one to hear you this is the sound of you falling down.
Will you ever again, look me in my eyes and call me you’re friend. The ball’s in you’re caught now give me a reason to forgive and forget.
Try to burn all my bridges and have the nerve, to dance in the fire while I die inside. Abandoned and reckless I try to go on. I try to reach through the fog but this vessel is sinking and I slowly drown.
she pretended she wasnt there while i was on the phone after telling me she wasnt alowed to do anything that nite. ok how am i supposed to feel- she'd rather spend time with dani, she is avoiding me, im not good enough to tell the truth to, what else has she lied about. what about those other times she said she wasnt alowed to come over, where they lies too!!! im so hurt and disapointed, i thought our friendship meant more to her. now i dont know whats gonna happen. im willing to fogive but is she willing to treat me like a friend, like she used to. this is just like when dani started treating me like shit. i cant belive wilko, i really thought she was different, i thought i could trust her and rely on her. i held her up as my best friend and the closest person to me and she has let me down,i feel really betrayed. i thought things had changed but not this much, where is the person who once said they'd always be there for me and tell me the truth and i was their best friend. now i dont know how she feels about me.
-2 songs i wrote-
"Hear me out"
Hear me out now, I know the truth. Remember when you said “I’d never lie to you.”
I broke my spine trying to catch your fall but now it seems like you don’t care at all.
Those letters wrote, just wasted words and unhappy endings.
Wasted my breath trying to understand when it makes no difference anyway.
You broke you’re promise lied to my face. My heart bleeds now such pain, disgrace. Burnt my trust you wear me down, I’m nothing I hope you’re happy now.
I wish I could forget what you did to me. Ignoring the past isn’t that easy.
I never wanted things to be this way, I’m disappointed what do you have to say?
Fragile and thin my patience is wearing thankyou for deceiving me into caring.
Cannot hide behind the lie this time, just tell me why.
"Forgive and forget"
You’re hiding behind this curtain of bright white, deceiving everyone to believe you’re so perfect. A shadow is cast over all of your lies and you’re calling out. No one to hear you this is the sound of you falling down.
Will you ever again, look me in my eyes and call me you’re friend. The ball’s in you’re caught now give me a reason to forgive and forget.
Try to burn all my bridges and have the nerve, to dance in the fire while I die inside. Abandoned and reckless I try to go on. I try to reach through the fog but this vessel is sinking and I slowly drown.