(no subject)
I don't know why I bothered with someone who I knew from the start wasn’t ready or interested in a long term relationship. It takes commitment, compromise and a lot of hard work. And I guess the worst part about is I couldn’t ask for that from her. Most high school students want to fall in love, but it isn't a fairy tale or anything like it. There are ups and downs, and usually more downs, but that’s what makes the ups so good. Some people just aren’t fit for it ready for it, or want it, and that’s Kayla. Everything is a double standard. She does, says, what she wants when she wants to. We talk when she wants too. We hang out when she wants to. We do everything when she wants too. If she says ...IF YOU DO THAT ITS OVER FOR GOOD! I wouldn’t dare do it. But if I said that, I'M CONTROLING! If I delete people from Kayla’s myspace im controlling, but if she does it, she has a right too. Friend requests and all. If one day I just decided to change my password, she's freak out and never trust me again, but when she does it she has a right too. This is all one big double standard. And maybe it’s a good thing that she doesn’t want this anymore, that way, the double standard can’t be there. It’s her senior year and it would be a waste to spend it with me. I can only give so much and for so long without getting anything in return. So I give up.