(no subject)
I know I could never go back, I want to, I want to beg her to stop, to call over and over again. but the things she has said and put in her away shows me, she isn't in love with me. i cant keep going back to someone who can so easily say sucha shitty things. i might say things i dont mean but one things for sure and she even said so, ive gotten a lot better. and today was the first time in so long i said anything rude or mean towards her. there are some things i can handle, but i cant handle this anymore. i can handle teh fighting, and most of the name calling, but i cant handle the things she puts in her away, myspace, ect. i know that if it was true love, she wouldnt react this way. I'm not positive and will never know if this is one of those times if shes trying so hard to act like she doesnt care, but regardless, she has completely pushed me away. i'm gonna get in a lot of trouble when my parents find out they bought a suit for no reason, but i guess thats what i get for listening to her sweet voice, and getting lost in the gorgeous eyes. there is a lesson to learn in everything, and in this lesson, im not sure what i learned. brokenheart. i feel as if im going to puke, but im doing my best to hold it together. today makes me question if any of this is worth it. is it worth enjoying those good times to end up like this. i'd like to say, this would be different if she didnt act like she didnt care. but i'm well awear that she will never change. broken heartsville is the last place i expected to be.
I'll end this by saying, Kayla, I never meant to say your fucking retarded. I was just so frustrated in every single way that it slipped out. I'm sorry. I'm not going to play games say things i dont mean to get pitty, but one things for sure. you dont love me anymore. i almost typed you never loved me, but i believe at a certain point you did. you're a liar, you're away said "someone will thank you for letting me go.", what did you tell me? if we break up i'll be single for the rest of my life. i knew that wasnt true, but you didnt have to say it. and lastly, i'll never forgive you or even give you the chance to apologize. this is it, and this is your fault SURE SURE, i called you a named, but the myspace password, the myspace quote, the profile, the away messages, was enough for me, i never want to have to feel this way again. you're the most amazing person i have ever met, but sometimes its better to show how you really care, instead of actting like you don't care. i love you and i always will. you'll be better off anyone (atleast thats what you say).
I'll end this by saying, Kayla, I never meant to say your fucking retarded. I was just so frustrated in every single way that it slipped out. I'm sorry. I'm not going to play games say things i dont mean to get pitty, but one things for sure. you dont love me anymore. i almost typed you never loved me, but i believe at a certain point you did. you're a liar, you're away said "someone will thank you for letting me go.", what did you tell me? if we break up i'll be single for the rest of my life. i knew that wasnt true, but you didnt have to say it. and lastly, i'll never forgive you or even give you the chance to apologize. this is it, and this is your fault SURE SURE, i called you a named, but the myspace password, the myspace quote, the profile, the away messages, was enough for me, i never want to have to feel this way again. you're the most amazing person i have ever met, but sometimes its better to show how you really care, instead of actting like you don't care. i love you and i always will. you'll be better off anyone (atleast thats what you say).