Dear Future Self,
I hope your happy. I'm struggling pretty badly right now and I feel lost. I'm not sure what the future holds anymore. I used to know but everything feels really confusing. Am I suppose to drop out to become a professional special effects artist? Or am I suppose to get continue with this degree in English. If I choose the special effects i know my life will lead me to Vancouver (where all the independent special effects companies are.) or New York. Shaun's degree as a science teacher will get him a job any where. Plus he could even work at Geek squad. I don't want to completely rely on him which is what the English Degree will make me do.
Can I do both? I don't have much left in my account I have about three to two years of money left and that same amount of schooling. If I do the special effects degree after the English degree it will be two more years at least. If shaun and I get married I'll have financial aid which means I could have money left over. This is the thing... I'm sure I love him I just don't want to get married for a stupid reason like that. I kind of just want to live in sin forever. Just because I know it will piss everyone off. But... if he dies prematurely our children won't me cover by insurance, if he doesn't write up a will I would be covered by life insurance etc.
I'm seriously thinking of buying a cute tea length dress and getting married this spring. Shaun told me he'll support me in whatever I decide to do whether it's English or FX. Which is nice because sometimes I wish he'd make the god damn decision for me. Fucking shit I'm lucky to have him. I'm especially glad he figured out what he's doing with himself. Two years ago he was just as lost as I was.
But future me this is not about Shaun this is about you and I. I wish you could tell me what I have decided. I wish you could tell me I'm famous, not only for my writing skills, my blog and my effects used in popular movies. I wish you could say that I'v won an Oscar for making over a famous actor and turning them into something awful.
Please. Tell me something.
Helen
Can I do both? I don't have much left in my account I have about three to two years of money left and that same amount of schooling. If I do the special effects degree after the English degree it will be two more years at least. If shaun and I get married I'll have financial aid which means I could have money left over. This is the thing... I'm sure I love him I just don't want to get married for a stupid reason like that. I kind of just want to live in sin forever. Just because I know it will piss everyone off. But... if he dies prematurely our children won't me cover by insurance, if he doesn't write up a will I would be covered by life insurance etc.
I'm seriously thinking of buying a cute tea length dress and getting married this spring. Shaun told me he'll support me in whatever I decide to do whether it's English or FX. Which is nice because sometimes I wish he'd make the god damn decision for me. Fucking shit I'm lucky to have him. I'm especially glad he figured out what he's doing with himself. Two years ago he was just as lost as I was.
But future me this is not about Shaun this is about you and I. I wish you could tell me what I have decided. I wish you could tell me I'm famous, not only for my writing skills, my blog and my effects used in popular movies. I wish you could say that I'v won an Oscar for making over a famous actor and turning them into something awful.
Please. Tell me something.
Helen