Getting Nicer outside (i think!!)

[pinkbubbly19]

wELL I DIDNT GO OUT TO EAT LASTNIGHT I WAS KINDA TIRED..woahh caps sowwy..well todd kept calling and i didnt answer it on purpose well its like everyday he says im gonna come over or i might come over and he barly does and im tired of hearing the bitching then he dont do it so whatever im not gonna wait around for his calls no more im not gonna c if hes coming over or not cuz everytime i thought he was or he said he was i would wait but its like whatever do whatever u want..i dont think he likes that idea and y becuz thats what hes doing..he called at said hell come over if i dont go to school i havnt feel asleep on him in a while now, but i know its a excuse but as i keep saying do whatever u want..Saturday night i went out with christine and he said what time is the play over i said around 10:45pm he gets all mad cuz he gets off work at 9pm so hes gotta wait to see me ooo is someone getting mad..so he complains how we never see each other as usual but i go with christine anyways cuz friday night was my last night waiting for him, expecially when all of a sudden he had to work till 12am and theirs pictures of people kissing in his phone and i think one is him and he goes drinking with anthony and goes to his house when he said he was gonna come over after work then he called once i new he was up to no good and thats his own fault, but he got made about saturday but he rented movies then ordered pizza at my house then his phone rings and he spends 15 minutes on the phone while we were watching movies i havnt seen him in 3 days but whatever so i start going asleep im tired of waiting around for him..well last night he said he was gonna come over if i wasnt gonna go to sleep i havnt even feel asleep on him in a long time but i know its a excuse but who cares.. so he called and i answered wondering what his excuse is gonna be and he talks about how hes out eating with sean and this girl well whatever him saying hes coming over to my house is alwys a big fluke and that was at 10 something well he said hed call me back but y cuz when he was on the phone with me he kept asking me the same questions cuz he wasnt listening to my answers so he kept asking the same ones..well we got off the phone i put the phone on the hook and layed there n tryed to watch tv to fall asleep, he kept calling but i just ignored it im tired of him only calling when hes not doing something else so hopefully he just keeps himself busy but next thing i know hes knocking on my window im like jesus y cant think guy just leave me alone he leaves me alone any other time and it was like 12:30am so i barly talked to him i just pertended he wasnt there he was trying to be close then all of a sudden hes like u gave me a axiety attack by not answering the phone ooo boy one axiety attack u know many i get a week now..hes like how much are wedding rings? what the difference between wedding rings and engagement rings? bla bla i told him i dont know cuz im not even talking to him about that till he figures out he wants me in his life or not..i dont need 100 percent of his time but at 20 percent all i get in a phone call when hes out on runs and he calls about 3 times 5 minutes each and he comes over 3 times a week if thats what he wants thats what hes gonna get..cuz im not waiting any longer for anything he alwys talks about this engage thing then it will be like weeks b4 he says anything again..hes not ready and im not pushing him i dont think hes used to haveing a serious relationship well i am but hes turning right around for that and he never asked for sex last night so i was grateful cuz if he did he wasnt gonna like what i had to say cuz he never does...so i got up and i left him sleeping he told me to wake him up when i got up i never did cuz all he said last night was wake me up so i can see u well iv been trying to do that for 6 months he dontwake up so i quit on that to, he got up at 2pm and hes like u never woke me up im like even if i did do u think he would of woke up NOOOOO so i quit on that..and i told him i alwys have tried to get u up u never get up so theres no point on trying no more so u can just sleep.. he sat with me for about 5 minutes then was like i gotta go home i was like yeah i know cuz like how convinet..he dont even have to be at work till 5pm but whatever cuz he had to be there at 5 yesterday and he didnt leave till 3pm now he leaves a little over 2pm well whatever do whatever u want..hes like im gonna come over work i said all right i know he wont so im not even gonna wait for him..

im gonna start packing today my room so that on saturday we can move all this shit out ill be so happy,the drama in my life will be away..and im gonna clean the house to..havnt done it in a while i clean but not the whole place..the baby is trying to grow i can feel it the bottom of my ribs kill badly they hurt when i move i felt like crying this morning i can feel everything in my lower stomach streching it hurts like iv been beat up or bruised and the middle of my back is hurting like sharp pains okokok my whole damn body is achy today my arms legs everything..the scar from the tubal pregnancy is showing badly i hate it..todd finally got to see the baby kick i was laying on my stomach and it kicked it scared the shit out of me..thats all it does is move i think it sleeps after breakfast cuz my stomach stops for a little while then starts..ok im going nothing more to say..and it seems like i never get enough sleep