Crawling out of the pit
This morning I awoke in total despair. Since I've moved here 5 people I know have died. My great Aunt Alice, Dimas Grandpa, Jodi a server I used to work with, Bill a bartender I was acquainted with, and Larry most recently on Thursday morning. Billy blew his brains out and Larry died very quickly of Kidney cancer. These two were within a week of one another. It's just a lot to process, even though these weren't super close friends, they were people I cared for in some way. I worked with Larry 3 days a week for a year and a half. He was well known in the poker community and always telling pointless stories. I'm just bummed and trying to figure out if this relationship is good for me anymore. I get so confused about stuff like this and can never tell if I'm just unhappy because I struggle with my emotions or if it's from an outside source. Hopefully my income will increase soon so I can take better care of myself. I definitely need some therapy and physical self care as well. I lost my focus this month and it's coming back now. A lot of new opportunities on the horizon and new people to get to know. Super sleepy after my bath and busy day at the winery.
