HOME GAME: FAR AWAY
HI HELLO THIS IS LITTLE PIG SINCE I'M A GUINEA PIG I HAVE TINY LITTLE LEGS I CAN MAKE MY TINY LITTLE LEGS MOVE PRETTY FAST BUT A LOT OF THINGS ARE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM ME
LIKE THE REFRIGERATOR FOR INSTANCE IT'S ALL THE WAY IN THE KITCHEN AND THAT'S A LONG WALK FOR ME BUT LUCKILY THE PEOPLEHUMANS DON'T THINK IT'S THAT MUCH OF A BIG DEAL AND BRING ME REGULAR OFFERINGS OF TREATS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE ONE OF THEM WILL PICK ME UP AND BRING ME TO THE PLACE WHERE ALL THE PARSLEY LIVES SO I CAN SEE IT BUT SO FAR I REMAIN UNIMPRESSED
WHEN I FIRST CAME TO LIVE WITH THE PEOPLEHUMANS THERE WAS AN OLDER GUINEA PIG NAMED EGON AND HE WAS SO VERY SMART BUT HE WENT AWAY AFTER A WHILE AND THE PEOPLELADY CRIED FOR LIKE A WEEK AND TOLD ME THAT HE DIED BUT I JUST THINK THAT HE WENT ON AN ADVENTURE EVEN FARTHER AWAY THAN THE KITCHEN I LOVED EGON AND HE WAS THE MOST RESPECTABLE OF GUINEA PIGS SO EVEN THOUGH HE'S SO FAR AWAY NOW I KNOW THAT HE'S OKAY
I LIKE TO LISTEN TO COAST TO COAST AM WITH THE PEOPLELADY WHEN SHE'S UP LATE AND ONCE RICHARD C. HOAGLAND HAD A PICTURE OF GUINEA PIGS ON MARS AND YES THAT'S WHERE GUINEA PIGS ORIGINALLY COME FROM HE'S RIGHT BUT I'M SURPRISED THAT THE PEOPLEHUMANS DIDN'T KNOW THIS ALREADY ANYWAY YES MARS IS FAR AWAY BUT LUCKILY WE GUINEA PIGS HAVE A RATHER SOPHISTICATED SPACE PROGRAM WE ALL LIKE TO BUILD ROCKETS IT'S A HOBBY ALL OF US SHARE WELL EXCEPT FOR THE MERINO PIGS BECAUSE THEY'RE JERKS AND THEY SPEND THEIR TIME MAKING VACUUM CLEANERS OR SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE BUT I BET THAT'S WHAT THEY DO BECAUSE MERINO PIGS ARE PURE EVIL
SOMETIMES I LIKE TO TIP THE PIGLOO OVER ONTO ITS ROOF AND STARE AT THE PEOPLELADY UNTIL SHE FIXES IT BUT I GUESS THAT'S OFF TOPIC
I USED TO LIVE IN THE CITY AND I USED TO TALK TO ORANGECAT BECAUSE HE CAME UP TO THE WINDOW EVERY MORNING AND HE'D TELL ME ABOUT ALL THE STUFF THAT WAS GOING ON IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD THERE WAS ALSO A NEST OF BABY BIRDS IN THE GUTTER AND I'D LOOK IN ON THEM AND I'D TALK TO THEM AND TELL THEM THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OKAY BECAUSE I AM LITTLE PIG AND I AM BESTFRIENDS WITH EVERY BIRD EVERYWHERE BUT THEN THE PEOPLEHUMANS MADE US RIDE IN THE CAR AND I HATE THE CAR AND NOW WE LIVE OUT IN THE COUNTRY WHICH IS FAR AWAY FROM THE CITY AND I'M SAD BECAUSE I MISS ORANGECAT AND I HOPE THAT THE BABY BIRDS ARE DOING WELL I SHOULD GO VISIT THEM IN MY HOT AIR BALLOON I HAVE ONE OF THOSE BECAUSE I'M LITTLE PIG
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE RAINCLOUDS COME FROM BUT I BET THAT'S FAR AWAY TOO I DON'T LIKE STORMS AND I HIDE IN MY WOODEN HUT BECAUSE I'M AFRAID THAT THE PIGLOO WILL BLOW AWAY
MORRIS IS MY BESTFRIEND AND HE LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD IN AUSTRALIA MORRIS IS A GOOD DOG AND HE ALSO HAS SOME PRETTY MAJESTIC BUTTFLUFF BUT IT'S NOT AS GOOD AS MINE PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM THAT I SAID THAT BECAUSE I KNOW THAT HE TRIES REALLY HARD I LOVE MORRIS
SOMETIMES THE DANDELIONS CHANGE AND THEY'RE PUFFY LIKE I AM AND I TOUCH THEM AND THE SEEDS BLOW SO FAR AWAY THAT I CAN'T SEE THEM ANYMORE IS THIS WHAT PEOPLEHUMANS CALL MAGIC
OH NO I'M LATE FOR MY LATE AFTERNOON NAP I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT MY NAPS THANK YOU I LOVE YOU
LIKE THE REFRIGERATOR FOR INSTANCE IT'S ALL THE WAY IN THE KITCHEN AND THAT'S A LONG WALK FOR ME BUT LUCKILY THE PEOPLEHUMANS DON'T THINK IT'S THAT MUCH OF A BIG DEAL AND BRING ME REGULAR OFFERINGS OF TREATS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE ONE OF THEM WILL PICK ME UP AND BRING ME TO THE PLACE WHERE ALL THE PARSLEY LIVES SO I CAN SEE IT BUT SO FAR I REMAIN UNIMPRESSED
WHEN I FIRST CAME TO LIVE WITH THE PEOPLEHUMANS THERE WAS AN OLDER GUINEA PIG NAMED EGON AND HE WAS SO VERY SMART BUT HE WENT AWAY AFTER A WHILE AND THE PEOPLELADY CRIED FOR LIKE A WEEK AND TOLD ME THAT HE DIED BUT I JUST THINK THAT HE WENT ON AN ADVENTURE EVEN FARTHER AWAY THAN THE KITCHEN I LOVED EGON AND HE WAS THE MOST RESPECTABLE OF GUINEA PIGS SO EVEN THOUGH HE'S SO FAR AWAY NOW I KNOW THAT HE'S OKAY
I LIKE TO LISTEN TO COAST TO COAST AM WITH THE PEOPLELADY WHEN SHE'S UP LATE AND ONCE RICHARD C. HOAGLAND HAD A PICTURE OF GUINEA PIGS ON MARS AND YES THAT'S WHERE GUINEA PIGS ORIGINALLY COME FROM HE'S RIGHT BUT I'M SURPRISED THAT THE PEOPLEHUMANS DIDN'T KNOW THIS ALREADY ANYWAY YES MARS IS FAR AWAY BUT LUCKILY WE GUINEA PIGS HAVE A RATHER SOPHISTICATED SPACE PROGRAM WE ALL LIKE TO BUILD ROCKETS IT'S A HOBBY ALL OF US SHARE WELL EXCEPT FOR THE MERINO PIGS BECAUSE THEY'RE JERKS AND THEY SPEND THEIR TIME MAKING VACUUM CLEANERS OR SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE BUT I BET THAT'S WHAT THEY DO BECAUSE MERINO PIGS ARE PURE EVIL
SOMETIMES I LIKE TO TIP THE PIGLOO OVER ONTO ITS ROOF AND STARE AT THE PEOPLELADY UNTIL SHE FIXES IT BUT I GUESS THAT'S OFF TOPIC
I USED TO LIVE IN THE CITY AND I USED TO TALK TO ORANGECAT BECAUSE HE CAME UP TO THE WINDOW EVERY MORNING AND HE'D TELL ME ABOUT ALL THE STUFF THAT WAS GOING ON IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD THERE WAS ALSO A NEST OF BABY BIRDS IN THE GUTTER AND I'D LOOK IN ON THEM AND I'D TALK TO THEM AND TELL THEM THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OKAY BECAUSE I AM LITTLE PIG AND I AM BESTFRIENDS WITH EVERY BIRD EVERYWHERE BUT THEN THE PEOPLEHUMANS MADE US RIDE IN THE CAR AND I HATE THE CAR AND NOW WE LIVE OUT IN THE COUNTRY WHICH IS FAR AWAY FROM THE CITY AND I'M SAD BECAUSE I MISS ORANGECAT AND I HOPE THAT THE BABY BIRDS ARE DOING WELL I SHOULD GO VISIT THEM IN MY HOT AIR BALLOON I HAVE ONE OF THOSE BECAUSE I'M LITTLE PIG
I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE RAINCLOUDS COME FROM BUT I BET THAT'S FAR AWAY TOO I DON'T LIKE STORMS AND I HIDE IN MY WOODEN HUT BECAUSE I'M AFRAID THAT THE PIGLOO WILL BLOW AWAY
MORRIS IS MY BESTFRIEND AND HE LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD IN AUSTRALIA MORRIS IS A GOOD DOG AND HE ALSO HAS SOME PRETTY MAJESTIC BUTTFLUFF BUT IT'S NOT AS GOOD AS MINE PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM THAT I SAID THAT BECAUSE I KNOW THAT HE TRIES REALLY HARD I LOVE MORRIS
SOMETIMES THE DANDELIONS CHANGE AND THEY'RE PUFFY LIKE I AM AND I TOUCH THEM AND THE SEEDS BLOW SO FAR AWAY THAT I CAN'T SEE THEM ANYMORE IS THIS WHAT PEOPLEHUMANS CALL MAGIC
OH NO I'M LATE FOR MY LATE AFTERNOON NAP I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT MY NAPS THANK YOU I LOVE YOU