(no subject)
what a mood today. its not even funny anymore. sometimes I run out of strength, but how come? Must be the tensions growing. Its snowing today too, for the second day in a row. Jee, its like supposed to be spring here. WTF? Wierdo dreams of me being with girls I feel nothing about? As if the reality that I revert from comes to haunt me in my dreams. Cant escape it. But hey, I'd rather this way than the other way. I feel as if I'm bound to go thru this, but I increasingly feel that I have to raise my inner strength to speed up the process. That must be one fundamental difference, btw me then and now. I want to get somewhere. At times I loose the vision, but its only one good reason to get to see it anew and better, next time I arrive at it. I mean like, this mood, its not suffering. Just as if some kind of wierdo irritation. A mediocre feeling of deffiency. I dont have something, its not like I have nothing, its just something is missing and I dont want to struggle to get it, but be an octupus and live on the sea bed in an antique jar....
That I dont like. Today I told my bro that we're getting old for certain things. Being the reason we have to do them either sooner or never. Its so true. Nothing wild. Maybe I'm plain wrong anyway. I've got a lot more rational, since moving home, disciplined too. I realized lately how you succeed thru peristance. Everyday you get up and put your attention to one thing. Everyday. Eventually it comes out right. That´s kind of nice. That's it for now....)
That I dont like. Today I told my bro that we're getting old for certain things. Being the reason we have to do them either sooner or never. Its so true. Nothing wild. Maybe I'm plain wrong anyway. I've got a lot more rational, since moving home, disciplined too. I realized lately how you succeed thru peristance. Everyday you get up and put your attention to one thing. Everyday. Eventually it comes out right. That´s kind of nice. That's it for now....)