Somebody woke me up by shining flashlight in my face and speaking all like hush hush, get your ass up I'm doing something that could get me fired..move it *bitch*. Except he didn't say that...he didn't say anything, he just motioned for me to follow him. And I wasn't asleep either, my eyes were closed...but I wasn't asleep
( ... )
Leave it to Faith to make me smile in a situation like this one. It wasn't so much what she said as the fact that only she would say something so bluntly.
It was refreshing, and I'd not been around to visit her lately, the guilt pounded down on me. Weighing even more heavily than before.
"Well, Can't say you look well rested either." I sighed and took a step closer to the fence.
"Dawn called me." I felt my jaw tense as the wave of emotion tightened around my throat.
I wasn't sure what to say or do here, I assumed she knew that they wanted me to break her out of jail, or at least had mentioned it to her, but I still wasn't sure if that was the best option.
I felt a soft and wry grin form on my face and I shrugged. "Kinda have alot on my mind ya know." I studied his face from my side of the fence.
"Dawn called me."
I nodded slightly. "Yeah?" I looked up towards the top of the fence and then back to the ground, my other hand moving to hook into the metal holes in the fence and I just stood there.
I was here because I wanted to be.
I had to get out because I needed to...
Taking a deep breath and rolling my shoulder a bit I looked back up at Angel. "So. How we doing this?"
This was it, the chance to get out of this hellhole, and was I ready...hell no. I'd be straight up lying if I said the memories of what I had done, and what I could do didn't scare the shit out of me. Oh screw it, I could do the whole trippin thing later
( ... )
As soon as she started moving so did I. The top was down, I could hear her behind me, gaining on me of course, she was a slayer after all.
The Slayer. The only slayer now.
I shook the disracting thoughts out of my head, praying to the powers that be that we'd get out of here. I was unwilling to let Dawn down, or Faith for that matter. If she got caught now there's no telling how things would end up for her.
I jumped into the drivers seat, cranked the car up and within seconds she was beside me. I took off, as fast as I could, we were lucky we were so quick, I was a good ways away from the prision before I heard the faint sound of sirens.
"I'm going to take some back roads to Sunnydale, we'll stop outside the city and leave my car somewhere." I did hope to get it back afterall.
"We'll have to make our way into down on foot while it's still dark."
My hands were shaking, and bleeding but I was more concerned and surprised about the goddamn shaking. It took my 3 tries to get the seat belt on, like I was gonna take the risk of playing the part of Le Femme Superman in a suit of torn prison fatigues and glass.
I just nodded at what Angel was saying, looking back slightly upon hearing sirens. "Damn, they don't waste time do they." I ran a hand through my tangled hair, wincing as a bit of hair snagged on what I just knew was a not shallow cut. "I think I shoulda risked the hernia."
Sighing, I leaned back in my seat a bit and rubbed my forehead. "I guess all potty break stops are now outta the question then?" I drawled a bit sarcastically. "Just whatever man... whatever..."
I watched the road, getting to the dark roads I knew too well. Faith had stopped talking when the lights had started to gain on us, I could tell she was nervous.
Hell I could smell her fear.
But I knew they had no idea where we were. It was the route I was taking that kept us near the lights.
Once we were clear of them I slowed down a little bit, not realizing how fast I'd been going or how tightly clenched my hands were on the stearing wheel.
"You ok?" I looked at her out of the corner of my eye.
I looked over to Angel before turning back to my window just shrugging. "Yeah. Sure."
It was the easiest answer, not really the truth. I couldn't just break down in tears and yell about getting caught and if I was caught what they'd do to me and how I wasn't ready. No, I had a perfect image of casual indifference. "Yeah, I am. I'm okay, a little shook up but I'm cool Angel."
He hadn't asked me another question but I could imagine the patient waiting for me to break with the truth expression on his face. "Goddamnit Angel, I'm okay! Just, just keep your focus on driving because if we get caught, it will be so your fault."
"Yeah, I am. I'm okay, a little shook up but I'm cool Angel."
She knew me better than to lie to me, or at least to think I'd believe it. So I just drove, eyes on the road, watching her from the corner of my eye, waiting.
It was easier to focus on helping faith than to face the reality of why we were even together at that momment.
"Goddamnit Angel, I'm okay! Just, just keep your focus on driving because if we get caught, it will be so your fault."
I sighed.
"I'm not going to let anyone catch you Faith. I don't care what I have to do."
I heard her scoff at me. I would have pulled over to look at her and tell her that I was serious.
"Faith. I'm not going to let that happen alright. Trust me. And I know your not ok. We've got a drive, if you want to sit in silence then that's what we'll do."
"Faith. I'm not going to let that happen alright. Trust me. And I know your not ok. We've got a drive, if you want to sit in silence then that's what we'll do."
I glanced back at the souled vampire with an unreadable expression. Trust...such a weird words in and of itsself. One syllable but deeper than that really deep trench, Marietta...something, I forgot. One syllable but overflowing with broken promises and bitter memories.
And yet, I was supposed to Trust him . Biting my bottom lip I turned back to the window and carefully tucked the hair falling into my face, behind my ears. "I've spent too much time sitting in silence Angel, and I'm talkin' not even the sound of the road rushing by or bugs chirping quiet. Just dark silence and freakin' cold concrete...ya know, the type that makes you jittery and blank at the same time
( ... )
"I've spent too much time sitting in silence Angel, and I'm talkin' not even the sound of the road rushing by or bugs chirping quiet. Just dark silence and freakin' cold concrete...ya know, the type that makes you jittery and blank at the same time?"
I did know actually. I'd been trapped inside a world of self loathing, hatred. Shying away from humanity and all that it entailed. But I didn't know what she was going through, not exactly and I refused to pretend that I did.
"I have some idea." I replied. The last thing I wanted to do was alienate Faith. We were both a pile of emotions that we didn't want to let out.
"So, sitting...without talkin' might just ki-"
She stopped, as if the word pained her and I knew what she was thinking. Yet there was nothing I could say.
"She's gone Angel. Always thought she'd outlive me...that's how it was supposed to be."I felt another surge of rage pass over me, thinking of Buffy in the past tense was never going to get easy. Losing her once was hard even though it was for a mere minute, then
( ... )
I arched an eyebrow. "Dayum, all I did was break a pool table and jack up the rec room...."
"It was unrecognizable when I left. I've always dealt with pent up anger, emotions begging me to break free and hurt someone. I've always been able to control them. I've lost her three times now ... She wasn't suppose to die like that, some kid with a gun? She was suppose to die in battle, fighting ..." I think I started laughing, no scratch that, I know I started laughing dryly, a nice hoarse laugh the kind that was formed from not knowing what to do with your voice and the chaos of emotions rushing through your head. "They always say, third times the charm..." The words felt wrong, raw and acidic
( ... )
She started to laugh, and I knew she was trying like hell to deal with this without getting too emotional.
"That kid, he's been taken care of right? The one with the gun, he's no longer in the picture?"
I shook my head. "Not yet, but he'll pay. I promised Dawn as much. I will ..."
The thought burned my mind, making someone pay for killing my only chance at happiness was something I wouldn't have even imagined I'd be able to do. But now, the need burned hotter than the thought.
"I always thought, well heh..gonna sound like a completely pussy here, but thought when I finally got outta jail, she'd still be alive ya know? So I could do the whole say sorry thing and take over the slaying gig for her and let her live her normal life, see her grow old and fat and happy, to die Happy, truely happy and peacefully."I nodded. "You don't sound like anything but human Faith
( ... )
"What kind of dreams?" Wow...what a question, and there was no way in hell I was gonna say 'Well, for starters...dream Buffy's got one helluva tongue' Nope, doing the coping with her loss thing with one of her ex's so did *not* involve talkin' about dream executed fantasies
( ... )
She seemed slightly uncomfortable with my question but went on about answering it anyway. There was something vulnerable about Faith that I'd always seen, even when she did everything she could to hide it. I felt honored that she allowed me to see that side of her.
"Um...dreams where stuff was different. Like, sometimes we would be fighting, side by side, knowing that we got eachother's backs without any shady being suspicious or hiding shit. Then sometimes, life would be normal...like there didn't even have to be a point to the dream just sit for what seems like hours, doing nothing but laying next to each other and staring at the same damn thing but seeing it differently. And it was okay, it was okay to see things differently because in the end, the thing never changed."
I nodded, understanding what she meant without difficulty.
"Never figured out what that thing was..guess it never mattered. Just it didn't matter because how badly I fucked up never mattered then, it was just..it never...mattered."I watched the road, lights
( ... )
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Leave it to Faith to make me smile in a situation like this one. It wasn't so much what she said as the fact that only she would say something so bluntly.
It was refreshing, and I'd not been around to visit her lately, the guilt pounded down on me. Weighing even more heavily than before.
"Well, Can't say you look well rested either." I sighed and took a step closer to the fence.
"Dawn called me." I felt my jaw tense as the wave of emotion tightened around my throat.
I wasn't sure what to say or do here, I assumed she knew that they wanted me to break her out of jail, or at least had mentioned it to her, but I still wasn't sure if that was the best option.
It was going to be up to her.
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I felt a soft and wry grin form on my face and I shrugged. "Kinda have alot on my mind ya know." I studied his face from my side of the fence.
"Dawn called me."
I nodded slightly. "Yeah?" I looked up towards the top of the fence and then back to the ground, my other hand moving to hook into the metal holes in the fence and I just stood there.
I was here because I wanted to be.
I had to get out because I needed to...
Taking a deep breath and rolling my shoulder a bit I looked back up at Angel. "So. How we doing this?"
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The Slayer. The only slayer now.
I shook the disracting thoughts out of my head, praying to the powers that be that we'd get out of here. I was unwilling to let Dawn down, or Faith for that matter. If she got caught now there's no telling how things would end up for her.
I jumped into the drivers seat, cranked the car up and within seconds she was beside me. I took off, as fast as I could, we were lucky we were so quick, I was a good ways away from the prision before I heard the faint sound of sirens.
"I'm going to take some back roads to Sunnydale, we'll stop outside the city and leave my car somewhere." I did hope to get it back afterall.
"We'll have to make our way into down on foot while it's still dark."
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I just nodded at what Angel was saying, looking back slightly upon hearing sirens. "Damn, they don't waste time do they." I ran a hand through my tangled hair, wincing as a bit of hair snagged on what I just knew was a not shallow cut. "I think I shoulda risked the hernia."
Sighing, I leaned back in my seat a bit and rubbed my forehead. "I guess all potty break stops are now outta the question then?" I drawled a bit sarcastically. "Just whatever man... whatever..."
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Hell I could smell her fear.
But I knew they had no idea where we were. It was the route I was taking that kept us near the lights.
Once we were clear of them I slowed down a little bit, not realizing how fast I'd been going or how tightly clenched my hands were on the stearing wheel.
"You ok?" I looked at her out of the corner of my eye.
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It was the easiest answer, not really the truth. I couldn't just break down in tears and yell about getting caught and if I was caught what they'd do to me and how I wasn't ready. No, I had a perfect image of casual indifference. "Yeah, I am. I'm okay, a little shook up but I'm cool Angel."
He hadn't asked me another question but I could imagine the patient waiting for me to break with the truth expression on his face. "Goddamnit Angel, I'm okay! Just, just keep your focus on driving because if we get caught, it will be so your fault."
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She knew me better than to lie to me, or at least to think I'd believe it. So I just drove, eyes on the road, watching her from the corner of my eye, waiting.
It was easier to focus on helping faith than to face the reality of why we were even together at that momment.
"Goddamnit Angel, I'm okay! Just, just keep your focus on driving because if we get caught, it will be so your fault."
I sighed.
"I'm not going to let anyone catch you Faith. I don't care what I have to do."
I heard her scoff at me. I would have pulled over to look at her and tell her that I was serious.
"Faith. I'm not going to let that happen alright. Trust me. And I know your not ok. We've got a drive, if you want to sit in silence then that's what we'll do."
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I glanced back at the souled vampire with an unreadable expression. Trust...such a weird words in and of itsself. One syllable but deeper than that really deep trench, Marietta...something, I forgot. One syllable but overflowing with broken promises and bitter memories.
And yet, I was supposed to Trust him . Biting my bottom lip I turned back to the window and carefully tucked the hair falling into my face, behind my ears. "I've spent too much time sitting in silence Angel, and I'm talkin' not even the sound of the road rushing by or bugs chirping quiet. Just dark silence and freakin' cold concrete...ya know, the type that makes you jittery and blank at the same time ( ... )
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I did know actually. I'd been trapped inside a world of self loathing, hatred. Shying away from humanity and all that it entailed. But I didn't know what she was going through, not exactly and I refused to pretend that I did.
"I have some idea." I replied. The last thing I wanted to do was alienate Faith. We were both a pile of emotions that we didn't want to let out.
"So, sitting...without talkin' might just ki-"
She stopped, as if the word pained her and I knew what she was thinking. Yet there was nothing I could say.
"She's gone Angel. Always thought she'd outlive me...that's how it was supposed to be."I felt another surge of rage pass over me, thinking of Buffy in the past tense was never going to get easy. Losing her once was hard even though it was for a mere minute, then ( ... )
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I arched an eyebrow. "Dayum, all I did was break a pool table and jack up the rec room...."
"It was unrecognizable when I left. I've always dealt with pent up anger, emotions begging me to break free and hurt someone. I've always been able to control them. I've lost her three times now ... She wasn't suppose to die like that, some kid with a gun? She was suppose to die in battle, fighting ..." I think I started laughing, no scratch that, I know I started laughing dryly, a nice hoarse laugh the kind that was formed from not knowing what to do with your voice and the chaos of emotions rushing through your head. "They always say, third times the charm..." The words felt wrong, raw and acidic ( ... )
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She started to laugh, and I knew she was trying like hell to deal with this without getting too emotional.
"That kid, he's been taken care of right? The one with the gun, he's no longer in the picture?"
I shook my head. "Not yet, but he'll pay. I promised Dawn as much. I will ..."
The thought burned my mind, making someone pay for killing my only chance at happiness was something I wouldn't have even imagined I'd be able to do. But now, the need burned hotter than the thought.
"I always thought, well heh..gonna sound like a completely pussy here, but thought when I finally got outta jail, she'd still be alive ya know? So I could do the whole say sorry thing and take over the slaying gig for her and let her live her normal life, see her grow old and fat and happy, to die Happy, truely happy and peacefully."I nodded. "You don't sound like anything but human Faith ( ... )
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"Um...dreams where stuff was different. Like, sometimes we would be fighting, side by side, knowing that we got eachother's backs without any shady being suspicious or hiding shit. Then sometimes, life would be normal...like there didn't even have to be a point to the dream just sit for what seems like hours, doing nothing but laying next to each other and staring at the same damn thing but seeing it differently. And it was okay, it was okay to see things differently because in the end, the thing never changed."
I nodded, understanding what she meant without difficulty.
"Never figured out what that thing was..guess it never mattered. Just it didn't matter because how badly I fucked up never mattered then, it was just..it never...mattered."I watched the road, lights ( ... )
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