Fanfiction: Rules for Roommates, modern au, WIP (9/?)
Title: Rules for Roommates - 9/?
Fandom: Merlin (Merlin/Arthur, mentions of Arthur/Gwaine)
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 4k (33k so far)
Summary: Modern AU. Arthur works in publishing and is ashamed to tell anyone he's secretly editing erotica, and being bullied by one of his authors - the arrogant 'Lake Anders'. He's also just taken in a new roommate, the adorable Merlin Emrys, who is definitely Not His Type. Or is he?
Previous chapters: CHAPTER ONE; CHAPTER TWO; CHAPTER THREE; CHAPTER FOUR; CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX; CHAPTER SEVEN: CHAPTER EIGHT
The days after the party were depressing. Yes, Merlin had broken up with Percy but it had obviously knocked him for six - his eyes were shadowed and bruised from staying up too late - and he hardly seemed ripe to tumble into Arthur's longing arms.
Added to that, the office was going through the tiring and tedious phase of gearing up for the sales conference. So his days were currently full of writing dull, repetitive cover-copy for books, pushing jackets through the cover-art meetings and trying to make sure all of their information was up to date. At this time he needed his wits about him: not to be distracted by pining for his housemate and sporting a fuck-off shiner. Everyone at work had been very worried when he showed up on Monday morning with an eye squeezed closed from bruising.
'Fighting again?' Gaius had asked, half joking.
'Nothing so rock and roll: I got mugged,' Arthur lied easily. 'It's happened twice now. Maybe my face offends people.' He squeezed out a fake laugh.
'Be careful,' Gaius's grip on his shoulder was reassuring. 'I don't want to lose my rising star to gang warfare.'
'Gang warfare?' Arthur had asked, dazed.
'Oh you know,' he waved a hand airily at him, knocking a stack of manuscripts off Arthur's desk but seemingly not even noticing. 'Crips and bloods and whatnot. I've seen The Wire.'
'But that's American,' Arthur said, hurriedly straightening the pages before they fell out of any semblance of order.
'Yes but these things spread. I've been to Peckham,' he breathed, in a tone of dread and Arthur had swallowed down anything he'd been planning on saying and instead hurriedly agreed he'd only frequent nightspots in Chelsea from now on.
One of the work experience girls had come and flirted harmlessly with him, sat on his desk with her long legs swinging in a way that a few months ago he would have found mesmerising. Now it was merely disconcerting as her fingers played with her skirt hem and she asked him what had happened. 'You look all rough,' she said, but the way she said it was oddly caressing. 'Did it hurt?' Her mouth was soft with concern.
'You should see the other guy,' he joked, lamely and then made up a lie about 'pressing editorial deadlines' until she went away.
Merlin was weird around him too. Careful, solicitous: cups of tea whenever he wanted them and even when he didn't, to the extent that there were half-drunk mugs littering the house by Wednesday. He made dinner each night and said 'sorry' all the time, looking up at Arthur through dark lashes as if expecting him to snap and kick him out.
'Gwaine explained it to me, it's fine,' he said, eventually, when he was fed up of hearing the word 'sorry' and fed up of rich dinners where Merlin wouldn't meet his eyes and finding leftovers packed up into neat little tupperwares for him to take to work each day.
'Explained what?' Merlin had asked curiously, twirling linguine round his fork.
'About Percy. How he destroyed your self-esteem so you couldn't leave him. I understand.'
'Oh,' Merlin looked amused. 'Gwaine said that?'
'He's been watching a lot of Dr Phil,' Arthur shrugged. Merlin smiled properly for the first time in what felt like weeks.
And all the while the sexual tension that Arthur had felt before seemed to have dissipated. Merlin barely touched him. He was kind to him, talkative, and friendly, but he never rubbed his shoulders when Arthur had a bad day, or made bad jokes about sex, or acted in any way which could be considered anything other than friendly. Asexual, even.
'Seriously mate, it's driving me mad,' he was at Leon's on Wednesday night, eating a takeaway and whingeing, as was his wont recently.
Leon rolled his eyes, 'So you expected him to just break up with Percy and swoon into your arms? You've been reading too many of your romance novels, Arthur.' He pointed his fork at him for emphasis. 'Shit doesn't happen like that in the real world.'
'Yeah, exactly,' Arthur said, 'I've been reading his romance novel - the one about two guys fucking who live together.'
'You don't know it's about you,' Leon pointed out. 'I presume - fervently hope, in fact - that 'Cross-dressing Cuckold' and 'Boy-band bukkake' aren't based on real experiences that Merlin had had. So this could be based on anyone. It's probably completely made up.'
'Yeah, but, the main character, James, looks like me. He's blond with blue eyes, into sport, and pretty built.'
'Wow,' Leon deadpanned, 'the hero in an erotica novel being attractive. What a shocker.' He snorted, slathering his naan in mango chutney, and looking smug. 'It's hardly like the hero was going to be balding, or morbidly obese, was it? I don't think that's the done thing in these kind of books.'
'Point taken,' Arthur glowered. 'But there's other stuff too. Like,' he paused, thinking, 'some of the stuff he says sounds like me.'
'Compelling evidence there, Pendragon,' Leon slow-clapped. 'I now see why your career in law didn't go further.'
'It's just a feeling I have, alright,' Arthur said, shortly.
'Wishful thinking, perhaps?' Leon quirked an eyebrow. 'Look, I just want you to be realistic. Maybe one day Merlin will be up for more with you, but stop pushing it and wait for it to happen patiently. Have you organised his birthday dinner?'
'Yeah,' Arthur said. 'It's really small. Gwen, Lance, Elena-the-underwear-model, his friend Will from home. I thought better to keep it quiet after what happened at the weekend.'
'Arthur,' Leon looked serious, despite the smudge of chutney by his mouth. 'You're a really good person, and I think Merlin will realise that, okay? So be patient.'
Arthur felt shy, shrugged his shoulders. 'Alright mate, thanks.' He tucked into his bhuna with renewed vigour. 'Now how's stuff going with Sophia?'
***
By Thursday, Arthur had everything prepared for the surprise dinner the next night, and was only worried that he hadn't covered his tracks enough. Merlin was going to go to the cinema with Gwen and she was to deliver him safely to the door by 8pm, ready for dinner. A little part of Arthur marveled at the fact that he felt absolutely nothing except a healthy dollop of liking for Gwen. The painful days when their relationship had ended felt like they'd happened to someone else. So much had changed since then.
Arthur didn't recognise himself a lot these days. It wasn't like he'd gone completely crackers and was writing Merlin love-songs or anything like that, but he was definitely different. Merlin made him want to care more. He worried about Merlin, wanted to protect him, to keep him safe. Arthur had never had those urges over anyone else before.
'Can't wait to see 'The Woman in Black' tomorrow night,' Merlin said excitedly, lolloping into the lounge and depositing himself into an armchair. 'I've asked Gwen back after for-' He broke off and looked worried. 'Shit is that okay if I've asked her back? It's your house, I know, and I don't know if everything's okay between you since-'
'Stop,' Arthur said. 'It's fine. Stop hyperventilating. I am a grown-up and have moved on. I wish her and Lance all the best. Honestly.'
'Really? You're capable of wishing an ex 'all the best'?' Merlin asked, agog. 'Because I keep fantasising about all the cruel things I should have said to Percy. Or how I should have delivered an exit line worthy of Kat Slater in Eastenders. Instead I was all pathetic and trembly and 'I think you know this isn't working'. And he was horribly unrepentant.' Merlin's lower lip wobbled.
'You just need to say the word and Gwaine will get a gang of rugby lads over and happily break his legs,' Arthur assured him. 'He's been watching a lot of violent films lately for inspiration 'just in case'.'
Merlin smiled, but it was half-hearted. 'Seriously, I don't wish him the best at all. I just wish I hadn't been so fucking pathetic and put up with him for so long. You were right.'
Arthur preened, 'Well, yes, I was right,' and then caught himself, 'but that's not the important thing here, is it? The important thing is that you broke up with him and he's out of your life now, so there's no point raking over old ground.'
'But it's just so embarrassing, Arthur. He cheated on me, everyone knew it, and I took him back and he blatantly did it again. And he made me feel so crap about my body.' Merlin looked down at himself critically. 'Do you think I'm attractive?' He said, all in a rush, like he'd had to push himself to ask the question.
Arthur coughed and shifted awkwardly, 'Well, yes,' he said, in a very stilted way. 'You are a very attractive young man.'
Merlin laughed, 'God could you sound any less convincing? No, no, it's fine, it was a stupid question, let's not mention it again. Let's just watch Take Me Out on catch-up.'
'Hey, no, don't be like that. And please, please don't make me watch Take Me Out. I think you're gorgeous,' Arthur said, not looking in his direction at all. 'You've got amazing eyes, and a lovely smile and even Gwaine thinks your hair's great.' He chanced a look at Merlin, who was looking down at the ground, biting his nails. 'Your next boyfriend will think you're the most amazing person he's ever met, and he'll want to have sex with you ten times a day, every day, and take you on glorious holidays just so he can shag you in foreign countries too. He'll want to buy you thoughtful presents, and cook you roasts, and let you hog the remote. I promise.' Arthur met his eyes and tried not to let his hopeless longing shine through.
'I hope you're right,' Merlin sighed. 'God, listen to me, all I do is witter on about my shit love-life these days. How's yours? How's stuff with Gwaine?'
Arthur blinked, disconcerted, 'I keep telling you, he's not my boyfriend. I haven't slept with him for weeks. He's relentlessly pursuing a straight guy from work.'
'How's that going for him?' Merlin smiled.
'Well, apparently. He's some kind of magician, I swear, I was straight as an arrow until I met him. And now, at the sight of any man with a beard and boy-band hair well... my knees go slightly weak.'
Merlin laughed properly at that, and Arthur felt pleased to have broken through his general malaise. 'Maybe a fuck-buddy would make things less complicated but knowing me I'd fall in love with them and it would all get horrible awkward.'
'I don't recommend it as a general rule,' Arthur agreed. 'Love makes everything messier.'
Merlin nodded, 'Yeah, it does.'
***
They stayed up talking for ages, until Merlin said he had some work to finish off. Arthur hoped beyond hope that he meant Rules for Roommates. He couldn't shake the feeling that it was about him, no matter what realism Leon had tried to interject into proceedings. Arthur sat staring at his iPad until midnight, willing it to beep, before giving it up for a bad lot and padding into the lounge to play Fifa. Because if anything could destroy sexual tension it was playing thirteen-year-olds online at football games.
'Yes, fucking get in,' he yelled. 'Fuck you Wayne!' He punched the air. He'd been battling this one particular Scouse kid (whose chosen handle was WayneTheDon) for weeks. Wayne had sent him a series of messages abusing him in their previous matches, most of which involved the word 'cunt' in a series of unimaginative yet deeply offensive ways.
'Um, can you keep it down?' Merlin came out of his room, hair tousled. 'I've just finished writing and I'm so bloody tired. Sorry to be a killjoy.' He was just wearing a pair of drawstring pyjama bottoms, Arthur noted, his mouth suddenly dry. He was pale, and lean, and his chest was dusted with dark hair. His hips were narrow and-
'Um, Arthur, have I mortally offended you?'
'What,' he snapped his head up, 'no, why?'
'You just looked at me really weirdly. Oh I dunno, I'm tired, can you keep your FIFA celebrations to a minimum after 1am?' He smiled.
'Yeah, yeah, sure,' Arthur stared fixedly at the screen. 'See you tomorrow.'
He raced back to his room (after one final 'fuck you Wayne!') and threw himself onto his bed. He reached for his iPad as one might imagine a crack addict would reach for a crack pipe. Desperate. Hungry. He caught himself and shook it off, forced himself to check facebook and twitter and BBC Sport as if pretending to an imaginary audience that he totally wasn't bothered whether he had an email or not. But of course he was bothered and when he saw that he had an email from Lake (Merlin) he shivered slightly.
'Arthur,
Hope this hits the spot! Sorry for the delay - real life got in the way. I know that sounds unprofessional but I can only apologise and assure you that it won't happen again. I worry how my audience will respond to this, as it is more innocent than my usual fare (no cricket bats or human horses!) so I have upped the graphic nature of these scenes.
Lake.'
Arthur found, to his undying shame, that he already had a semi just reading the email. But it was Merlin (Merlin) writing this stuff. And that was unbearably exciting, even if it wasn't about him.
In the latest chapters it was James who kept coming to Harry, drawn to him despite his ostensible heterosexuality. James would crawl into bed with Harry and wake him with kisses, rubbing his heavy erection against Harry's hipbone but saying 'no' every time Harry tried to touch him. Eventually Harry snapped and told him 'new rule - touching with hands but that's all' and took hold of James's dick and pressed it against his own, sliding them against one another and watching the way James's dick leaked pre-come, and how he went all breathless and moaned incomprehensible things against Harry's neck until he came all over Harry's dick and hand and then watched as Harry thrust twice and came in the space between their bodies. The next night it happened again, but this time James was the one to make Harry come first and then Harry sucked the come off James's fingers and made James beg 'please' until he took his dick in his mouth and let him fuck it until he came.
Arthur didn't even pretend not to have an erection this time and hurriedly pulled his dick out from his boxers and fisted it, hard and slow, thinking about how the head of Merlin's dick would look sliding against his own, dripping come over Arthur's erection, getting him all slick and then letting him push inside Merlin's tight arse. It only took a few strokes until he came, fucking up into his own hand, his breathing harsh, Merlin's name on his lips.
It was embarrassing how much he wanted Merlin and embarrassing that he was now wanking so much that he had a stash of Kleenex beneath his bed. Uncouth, even. But he knew deep down that James was him, just as Harry was meant to be Merlin. It didn't matter that he had no proof for this, he just knew it. But how did he get Merlin to admit it? He shook his head: he had no idea of that.
***
The fish pie was in the oven, the table was set, the wine was chilling and the guests were due to arrive any minute. He'd bought 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' helium balloons and even iced a cake. Everything was ready. Arthur faffed around with his suit in front of the mirror, raking nervous fingers through his hair over and over. What if Merlin didn't like the surprise? Or what if he saw straight through it into Arthur's soul and realised how he felt? He shuddered, and felt a bit sick.
He was relieved when the doorbell went. Lance was standing there with a girl Arthur presumed was Elena, given that she was pouty and blonde and her generous cleavage was spilling out of the neckline of her bright red dress.
'Hello both of you,' he kissed her twice, once his eyes had popped back into his head, and settled for shaking Lance's hand. 'Wine, nice.'
'Gwen just texted me, they're leaving the cinema now, so they'll be here in half an hour,' Lance said.
'Oh fuck, I hope Will is here by then,' Arthur fretted, as he settled them both in chairs and put their wine in the fridge. Fuck, their fridge was more wine than food these days. They'd probably develop scurvy soon if he wasn't careful.
The doorbell went then and Arthur opened it to find a brown-haired guy with messy hair wearing skinny jeans and carrying a six-pack of beer. 'I know wine's the done thing at dinner parties, but I can't be faffing around with that snobby Pinot Grigio bollocks. It's got to be a tinnie for me. I'm Will,' he held out a hand, shook Arthur's firmly. 'Nice place. Do you own it?'
'No, well, partly. The bank own it mostly.'
Will looked admiringly around, 'Fuck I could never afford a place like this. What do you do?'
'Oh, publishing, I earn fuck all. I used to be a lawyer though.'
'That explains it. Hey, where's your fridge?'
Slightly bamboozled, Arthur showed him through to the kitchen. 'This is Elena and Lance. This is Will.'
'Charmed,' he shook their hands, theatrically kissed Elena's, took rather a while drinking in her cleavage. 'When's Merlin due?'
'In about, um,' Arthur checked his watch, 'thirteen minutes. Gwen's bringing him.'
'I was sorry I couldn't make his birthday party but sounds like I made the right choice staying away,' Will said, cracking open a beer. 'Has he dumped the fucker yet? He's made a right hash of your eye.'
Arthur laughed at his bluntness, despite himself, as he self-consciously touched the fading bruise, 'Yes he has dumped the fucker, thank god. Percy was a complete shit.'
'Yeah, I always said it. Anyone who drinks protein shakes isn't someone you can trust. It's one of my rules for life. And what do you two do then? I'm presuming you're a model,' he said to Elena in a way which could only be termed 'sleazy'.
'I work for a charity,' Lance said. 'I'm really passionate about giving back,' he sounded earnest and on anyone else it wouldn't have been a good look but on Lance it worked.
'I actually am a model,' Elena giggled, then snorted, covered her mouth. 'Sorry, not a very ladylike laugh. I'm an underwear model.'
Arthur and Will both looked at her cleavage. Lance pointedly didn't.
'Elena was supposed to move in here, actually,' Arthur said, finally, when he could tear his eyes away. Every time she laughed he was frightened that one of them was going to pop right out of her bra and land in the salad dressing.
'Fucking hell, bad luck you got saddled with Merlin,' Will shook his head, ogling wildly.
'He has his charms,' Arthur said, primly. If Elena had moved in they'd probably have had sex, and then spent the rest of the time avoiding each other until everything got unbearably awkward and she moved out. Whereas the idea that Merlin would be moving out in the not-too-distant-future made him feel a bit queasy. 'Oh shit, I need to make the salad.'
'I'll help,' Lance offered. Of course Lance offered. It was Lance.
'Can I do anything?' Elena asked.
Arthur shook his head. He was worried what would happen if she had to chop things. Worried that Will's head would literally explode at all the jiggling.
He'd just had time to get everything ready when he heard Merlin's key in the door. 'Everyone, shh!' he said, pointlessly, given that everyone was already being quiet.
Merlin walked through the door with Gwen and they all yelled, 'Happy birthday!'
Merlin looked shocked, then took in the faces around the table, the balloons and the cake. 'Arthur?'
'Your previous birthday was shit, mate, so I wanted to do something to make up for that,' he shrugged.
Merlin smiled, rested his head against Arthur's shoulder, 'You're amazing,' he whispered. And then he kissed Arthur's cheek shyly and squeezed his hand whilst Arthur feared his chest might burst.
'Come and sit down you skinny bastard,' Will said.
'You're too fat for those jeans,' Merlin retorted, a broad grin on his face.
'I've just been commiserating with Arthur on how gutting it must have been when you moved in instead of Elena. Having met her I bet he'll be crying himself to sleep tonight,' Will punched Merlin on the arm.
'Yeah I reckon so,' Merlin half-smiled, caught Arthur's eye.
'I'll never regret the day Merlin moved in,' Arthur said. 'It was one of the best days of my life,' and he gave a big cheesy grin as if he was kidding but he meant it. And watching Merlin smile and joke and look so blissfully happy made him realise just how much. And if waiting for Merlin was what it took, then waiting was what he would do - he was confident that the end result would be worth it.
CHAPTER TEN
Fandom: Merlin (Merlin/Arthur, mentions of Arthur/Gwaine)
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 4k (33k so far)
Summary: Modern AU. Arthur works in publishing and is ashamed to tell anyone he's secretly editing erotica, and being bullied by one of his authors - the arrogant 'Lake Anders'. He's also just taken in a new roommate, the adorable Merlin Emrys, who is definitely Not His Type. Or is he?
Previous chapters: CHAPTER ONE; CHAPTER TWO; CHAPTER THREE; CHAPTER FOUR; CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX; CHAPTER SEVEN: CHAPTER EIGHT
The days after the party were depressing. Yes, Merlin had broken up with Percy but it had obviously knocked him for six - his eyes were shadowed and bruised from staying up too late - and he hardly seemed ripe to tumble into Arthur's longing arms.
Added to that, the office was going through the tiring and tedious phase of gearing up for the sales conference. So his days were currently full of writing dull, repetitive cover-copy for books, pushing jackets through the cover-art meetings and trying to make sure all of their information was up to date. At this time he needed his wits about him: not to be distracted by pining for his housemate and sporting a fuck-off shiner. Everyone at work had been very worried when he showed up on Monday morning with an eye squeezed closed from bruising.
'Fighting again?' Gaius had asked, half joking.
'Nothing so rock and roll: I got mugged,' Arthur lied easily. 'It's happened twice now. Maybe my face offends people.' He squeezed out a fake laugh.
'Be careful,' Gaius's grip on his shoulder was reassuring. 'I don't want to lose my rising star to gang warfare.'
'Gang warfare?' Arthur had asked, dazed.
'Oh you know,' he waved a hand airily at him, knocking a stack of manuscripts off Arthur's desk but seemingly not even noticing. 'Crips and bloods and whatnot. I've seen The Wire.'
'But that's American,' Arthur said, hurriedly straightening the pages before they fell out of any semblance of order.
'Yes but these things spread. I've been to Peckham,' he breathed, in a tone of dread and Arthur had swallowed down anything he'd been planning on saying and instead hurriedly agreed he'd only frequent nightspots in Chelsea from now on.
One of the work experience girls had come and flirted harmlessly with him, sat on his desk with her long legs swinging in a way that a few months ago he would have found mesmerising. Now it was merely disconcerting as her fingers played with her skirt hem and she asked him what had happened. 'You look all rough,' she said, but the way she said it was oddly caressing. 'Did it hurt?' Her mouth was soft with concern.
'You should see the other guy,' he joked, lamely and then made up a lie about 'pressing editorial deadlines' until she went away.
Merlin was weird around him too. Careful, solicitous: cups of tea whenever he wanted them and even when he didn't, to the extent that there were half-drunk mugs littering the house by Wednesday. He made dinner each night and said 'sorry' all the time, looking up at Arthur through dark lashes as if expecting him to snap and kick him out.
'Gwaine explained it to me, it's fine,' he said, eventually, when he was fed up of hearing the word 'sorry' and fed up of rich dinners where Merlin wouldn't meet his eyes and finding leftovers packed up into neat little tupperwares for him to take to work each day.
'Explained what?' Merlin had asked curiously, twirling linguine round his fork.
'About Percy. How he destroyed your self-esteem so you couldn't leave him. I understand.'
'Oh,' Merlin looked amused. 'Gwaine said that?'
'He's been watching a lot of Dr Phil,' Arthur shrugged. Merlin smiled properly for the first time in what felt like weeks.
And all the while the sexual tension that Arthur had felt before seemed to have dissipated. Merlin barely touched him. He was kind to him, talkative, and friendly, but he never rubbed his shoulders when Arthur had a bad day, or made bad jokes about sex, or acted in any way which could be considered anything other than friendly. Asexual, even.
'Seriously mate, it's driving me mad,' he was at Leon's on Wednesday night, eating a takeaway and whingeing, as was his wont recently.
Leon rolled his eyes, 'So you expected him to just break up with Percy and swoon into your arms? You've been reading too many of your romance novels, Arthur.' He pointed his fork at him for emphasis. 'Shit doesn't happen like that in the real world.'
'Yeah, exactly,' Arthur said, 'I've been reading his romance novel - the one about two guys fucking who live together.'
'You don't know it's about you,' Leon pointed out. 'I presume - fervently hope, in fact - that 'Cross-dressing Cuckold' and 'Boy-band bukkake' aren't based on real experiences that Merlin had had. So this could be based on anyone. It's probably completely made up.'
'Yeah, but, the main character, James, looks like me. He's blond with blue eyes, into sport, and pretty built.'
'Wow,' Leon deadpanned, 'the hero in an erotica novel being attractive. What a shocker.' He snorted, slathering his naan in mango chutney, and looking smug. 'It's hardly like the hero was going to be balding, or morbidly obese, was it? I don't think that's the done thing in these kind of books.'
'Point taken,' Arthur glowered. 'But there's other stuff too. Like,' he paused, thinking, 'some of the stuff he says sounds like me.'
'Compelling evidence there, Pendragon,' Leon slow-clapped. 'I now see why your career in law didn't go further.'
'It's just a feeling I have, alright,' Arthur said, shortly.
'Wishful thinking, perhaps?' Leon quirked an eyebrow. 'Look, I just want you to be realistic. Maybe one day Merlin will be up for more with you, but stop pushing it and wait for it to happen patiently. Have you organised his birthday dinner?'
'Yeah,' Arthur said. 'It's really small. Gwen, Lance, Elena-the-underwear-model, his friend Will from home. I thought better to keep it quiet after what happened at the weekend.'
'Arthur,' Leon looked serious, despite the smudge of chutney by his mouth. 'You're a really good person, and I think Merlin will realise that, okay? So be patient.'
Arthur felt shy, shrugged his shoulders. 'Alright mate, thanks.' He tucked into his bhuna with renewed vigour. 'Now how's stuff going with Sophia?'
***
By Thursday, Arthur had everything prepared for the surprise dinner the next night, and was only worried that he hadn't covered his tracks enough. Merlin was going to go to the cinema with Gwen and she was to deliver him safely to the door by 8pm, ready for dinner. A little part of Arthur marveled at the fact that he felt absolutely nothing except a healthy dollop of liking for Gwen. The painful days when their relationship had ended felt like they'd happened to someone else. So much had changed since then.
Arthur didn't recognise himself a lot these days. It wasn't like he'd gone completely crackers and was writing Merlin love-songs or anything like that, but he was definitely different. Merlin made him want to care more. He worried about Merlin, wanted to protect him, to keep him safe. Arthur had never had those urges over anyone else before.
'Can't wait to see 'The Woman in Black' tomorrow night,' Merlin said excitedly, lolloping into the lounge and depositing himself into an armchair. 'I've asked Gwen back after for-' He broke off and looked worried. 'Shit is that okay if I've asked her back? It's your house, I know, and I don't know if everything's okay between you since-'
'Stop,' Arthur said. 'It's fine. Stop hyperventilating. I am a grown-up and have moved on. I wish her and Lance all the best. Honestly.'
'Really? You're capable of wishing an ex 'all the best'?' Merlin asked, agog. 'Because I keep fantasising about all the cruel things I should have said to Percy. Or how I should have delivered an exit line worthy of Kat Slater in Eastenders. Instead I was all pathetic and trembly and 'I think you know this isn't working'. And he was horribly unrepentant.' Merlin's lower lip wobbled.
'You just need to say the word and Gwaine will get a gang of rugby lads over and happily break his legs,' Arthur assured him. 'He's been watching a lot of violent films lately for inspiration 'just in case'.'
Merlin smiled, but it was half-hearted. 'Seriously, I don't wish him the best at all. I just wish I hadn't been so fucking pathetic and put up with him for so long. You were right.'
Arthur preened, 'Well, yes, I was right,' and then caught himself, 'but that's not the important thing here, is it? The important thing is that you broke up with him and he's out of your life now, so there's no point raking over old ground.'
'But it's just so embarrassing, Arthur. He cheated on me, everyone knew it, and I took him back and he blatantly did it again. And he made me feel so crap about my body.' Merlin looked down at himself critically. 'Do you think I'm attractive?' He said, all in a rush, like he'd had to push himself to ask the question.
Arthur coughed and shifted awkwardly, 'Well, yes,' he said, in a very stilted way. 'You are a very attractive young man.'
Merlin laughed, 'God could you sound any less convincing? No, no, it's fine, it was a stupid question, let's not mention it again. Let's just watch Take Me Out on catch-up.'
'Hey, no, don't be like that. And please, please don't make me watch Take Me Out. I think you're gorgeous,' Arthur said, not looking in his direction at all. 'You've got amazing eyes, and a lovely smile and even Gwaine thinks your hair's great.' He chanced a look at Merlin, who was looking down at the ground, biting his nails. 'Your next boyfriend will think you're the most amazing person he's ever met, and he'll want to have sex with you ten times a day, every day, and take you on glorious holidays just so he can shag you in foreign countries too. He'll want to buy you thoughtful presents, and cook you roasts, and let you hog the remote. I promise.' Arthur met his eyes and tried not to let his hopeless longing shine through.
'I hope you're right,' Merlin sighed. 'God, listen to me, all I do is witter on about my shit love-life these days. How's yours? How's stuff with Gwaine?'
Arthur blinked, disconcerted, 'I keep telling you, he's not my boyfriend. I haven't slept with him for weeks. He's relentlessly pursuing a straight guy from work.'
'How's that going for him?' Merlin smiled.
'Well, apparently. He's some kind of magician, I swear, I was straight as an arrow until I met him. And now, at the sight of any man with a beard and boy-band hair well... my knees go slightly weak.'
Merlin laughed properly at that, and Arthur felt pleased to have broken through his general malaise. 'Maybe a fuck-buddy would make things less complicated but knowing me I'd fall in love with them and it would all get horrible awkward.'
'I don't recommend it as a general rule,' Arthur agreed. 'Love makes everything messier.'
Merlin nodded, 'Yeah, it does.'
***
They stayed up talking for ages, until Merlin said he had some work to finish off. Arthur hoped beyond hope that he meant Rules for Roommates. He couldn't shake the feeling that it was about him, no matter what realism Leon had tried to interject into proceedings. Arthur sat staring at his iPad until midnight, willing it to beep, before giving it up for a bad lot and padding into the lounge to play Fifa. Because if anything could destroy sexual tension it was playing thirteen-year-olds online at football games.
'Yes, fucking get in,' he yelled. 'Fuck you Wayne!' He punched the air. He'd been battling this one particular Scouse kid (whose chosen handle was WayneTheDon) for weeks. Wayne had sent him a series of messages abusing him in their previous matches, most of which involved the word 'cunt' in a series of unimaginative yet deeply offensive ways.
'Um, can you keep it down?' Merlin came out of his room, hair tousled. 'I've just finished writing and I'm so bloody tired. Sorry to be a killjoy.' He was just wearing a pair of drawstring pyjama bottoms, Arthur noted, his mouth suddenly dry. He was pale, and lean, and his chest was dusted with dark hair. His hips were narrow and-
'Um, Arthur, have I mortally offended you?'
'What,' he snapped his head up, 'no, why?'
'You just looked at me really weirdly. Oh I dunno, I'm tired, can you keep your FIFA celebrations to a minimum after 1am?' He smiled.
'Yeah, yeah, sure,' Arthur stared fixedly at the screen. 'See you tomorrow.'
He raced back to his room (after one final 'fuck you Wayne!') and threw himself onto his bed. He reached for his iPad as one might imagine a crack addict would reach for a crack pipe. Desperate. Hungry. He caught himself and shook it off, forced himself to check facebook and twitter and BBC Sport as if pretending to an imaginary audience that he totally wasn't bothered whether he had an email or not. But of course he was bothered and when he saw that he had an email from Lake (Merlin) he shivered slightly.
'Arthur,
Hope this hits the spot! Sorry for the delay - real life got in the way. I know that sounds unprofessional but I can only apologise and assure you that it won't happen again. I worry how my audience will respond to this, as it is more innocent than my usual fare (no cricket bats or human horses!) so I have upped the graphic nature of these scenes.
Lake.'
Arthur found, to his undying shame, that he already had a semi just reading the email. But it was Merlin (Merlin) writing this stuff. And that was unbearably exciting, even if it wasn't about him.
In the latest chapters it was James who kept coming to Harry, drawn to him despite his ostensible heterosexuality. James would crawl into bed with Harry and wake him with kisses, rubbing his heavy erection against Harry's hipbone but saying 'no' every time Harry tried to touch him. Eventually Harry snapped and told him 'new rule - touching with hands but that's all' and took hold of James's dick and pressed it against his own, sliding them against one another and watching the way James's dick leaked pre-come, and how he went all breathless and moaned incomprehensible things against Harry's neck until he came all over Harry's dick and hand and then watched as Harry thrust twice and came in the space between their bodies. The next night it happened again, but this time James was the one to make Harry come first and then Harry sucked the come off James's fingers and made James beg 'please' until he took his dick in his mouth and let him fuck it until he came.
Arthur didn't even pretend not to have an erection this time and hurriedly pulled his dick out from his boxers and fisted it, hard and slow, thinking about how the head of Merlin's dick would look sliding against his own, dripping come over Arthur's erection, getting him all slick and then letting him push inside Merlin's tight arse. It only took a few strokes until he came, fucking up into his own hand, his breathing harsh, Merlin's name on his lips.
It was embarrassing how much he wanted Merlin and embarrassing that he was now wanking so much that he had a stash of Kleenex beneath his bed. Uncouth, even. But he knew deep down that James was him, just as Harry was meant to be Merlin. It didn't matter that he had no proof for this, he just knew it. But how did he get Merlin to admit it? He shook his head: he had no idea of that.
***
The fish pie was in the oven, the table was set, the wine was chilling and the guests were due to arrive any minute. He'd bought 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' helium balloons and even iced a cake. Everything was ready. Arthur faffed around with his suit in front of the mirror, raking nervous fingers through his hair over and over. What if Merlin didn't like the surprise? Or what if he saw straight through it into Arthur's soul and realised how he felt? He shuddered, and felt a bit sick.
He was relieved when the doorbell went. Lance was standing there with a girl Arthur presumed was Elena, given that she was pouty and blonde and her generous cleavage was spilling out of the neckline of her bright red dress.
'Hello both of you,' he kissed her twice, once his eyes had popped back into his head, and settled for shaking Lance's hand. 'Wine, nice.'
'Gwen just texted me, they're leaving the cinema now, so they'll be here in half an hour,' Lance said.
'Oh fuck, I hope Will is here by then,' Arthur fretted, as he settled them both in chairs and put their wine in the fridge. Fuck, their fridge was more wine than food these days. They'd probably develop scurvy soon if he wasn't careful.
The doorbell went then and Arthur opened it to find a brown-haired guy with messy hair wearing skinny jeans and carrying a six-pack of beer. 'I know wine's the done thing at dinner parties, but I can't be faffing around with that snobby Pinot Grigio bollocks. It's got to be a tinnie for me. I'm Will,' he held out a hand, shook Arthur's firmly. 'Nice place. Do you own it?'
'No, well, partly. The bank own it mostly.'
Will looked admiringly around, 'Fuck I could never afford a place like this. What do you do?'
'Oh, publishing, I earn fuck all. I used to be a lawyer though.'
'That explains it. Hey, where's your fridge?'
Slightly bamboozled, Arthur showed him through to the kitchen. 'This is Elena and Lance. This is Will.'
'Charmed,' he shook their hands, theatrically kissed Elena's, took rather a while drinking in her cleavage. 'When's Merlin due?'
'In about, um,' Arthur checked his watch, 'thirteen minutes. Gwen's bringing him.'
'I was sorry I couldn't make his birthday party but sounds like I made the right choice staying away,' Will said, cracking open a beer. 'Has he dumped the fucker yet? He's made a right hash of your eye.'
Arthur laughed at his bluntness, despite himself, as he self-consciously touched the fading bruise, 'Yes he has dumped the fucker, thank god. Percy was a complete shit.'
'Yeah, I always said it. Anyone who drinks protein shakes isn't someone you can trust. It's one of my rules for life. And what do you two do then? I'm presuming you're a model,' he said to Elena in a way which could only be termed 'sleazy'.
'I work for a charity,' Lance said. 'I'm really passionate about giving back,' he sounded earnest and on anyone else it wouldn't have been a good look but on Lance it worked.
'I actually am a model,' Elena giggled, then snorted, covered her mouth. 'Sorry, not a very ladylike laugh. I'm an underwear model.'
Arthur and Will both looked at her cleavage. Lance pointedly didn't.
'Elena was supposed to move in here, actually,' Arthur said, finally, when he could tear his eyes away. Every time she laughed he was frightened that one of them was going to pop right out of her bra and land in the salad dressing.
'Fucking hell, bad luck you got saddled with Merlin,' Will shook his head, ogling wildly.
'He has his charms,' Arthur said, primly. If Elena had moved in they'd probably have had sex, and then spent the rest of the time avoiding each other until everything got unbearably awkward and she moved out. Whereas the idea that Merlin would be moving out in the not-too-distant-future made him feel a bit queasy. 'Oh shit, I need to make the salad.'
'I'll help,' Lance offered. Of course Lance offered. It was Lance.
'Can I do anything?' Elena asked.
Arthur shook his head. He was worried what would happen if she had to chop things. Worried that Will's head would literally explode at all the jiggling.
He'd just had time to get everything ready when he heard Merlin's key in the door. 'Everyone, shh!' he said, pointlessly, given that everyone was already being quiet.
Merlin walked through the door with Gwen and they all yelled, 'Happy birthday!'
Merlin looked shocked, then took in the faces around the table, the balloons and the cake. 'Arthur?'
'Your previous birthday was shit, mate, so I wanted to do something to make up for that,' he shrugged.
Merlin smiled, rested his head against Arthur's shoulder, 'You're amazing,' he whispered. And then he kissed Arthur's cheek shyly and squeezed his hand whilst Arthur feared his chest might burst.
'Come and sit down you skinny bastard,' Will said.
'You're too fat for those jeans,' Merlin retorted, a broad grin on his face.
'I've just been commiserating with Arthur on how gutting it must have been when you moved in instead of Elena. Having met her I bet he'll be crying himself to sleep tonight,' Will punched Merlin on the arm.
'Yeah I reckon so,' Merlin half-smiled, caught Arthur's eye.
'I'll never regret the day Merlin moved in,' Arthur said. 'It was one of the best days of my life,' and he gave a big cheesy grin as if he was kidding but he meant it. And watching Merlin smile and joke and look so blissfully happy made him realise just how much. And if waiting for Merlin was what it took, then waiting was what he would do - he was confident that the end result would be worth it.
CHAPTER TEN