Fanfiction: Rules for Roommates, modern au, WIP (8/?)
Title: Rules for Roommates - 8/?
Fandom: Merlin (Merlin/Arthur, mentions of Arthur/Gwaine)
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 3k (29k so far)
Summary: Modern AU. Arthur works in publishing and is ashamed to tell anyone he's secretly editing erotica, and being bullied by one of his authors - the arrogant 'Lake Anders'. He's also just taken in a new roommate, the adorable Merlin Emrys, who is definitely Not His Type. Or is he?
Previous chapters: CHAPTER ONE; CHAPTER TWO; CHAPTER THREE; CHAPTER FOUR; CHAPTER FIVE; CHAPTER SIX; CHAPTER SEVEN
To Arthur it felt like he'd probably been out cold for hours but in reality it was probably only a minute at most. When he opened his eyes it was to be confronted with a scene worthy of Eastenders. Gwaine had obviously been watching too many wrestling shows and was brandishing a chair in Percy's direction, Merlin was trembling by Arthur's side, and calm, sensible Lance was threatening to call the police.
'Fine, I'm leaving,' Percy snarled. He stalked out with his two sidekicks (Tweedledum and Tweedledee as Arthur had secretly named them) sloping behind him.
Arthur sat up shakily. Merlin leaned over him, 'Oh my goodness, are you okay? I'm so sorry.'
'Not my face, my beautiful, beautiful face,' Arthur joked shakily as his hand felt for what was going to be one hell of a shiner. 'My modeling career, ended before it even got started.'
'It's not funny, you idiot,' Merlin fretted. 'Do you have a concussion? How many fingers am I holding up?'
'I'm fine,' Arthur insisted. 'Three.' He got up slowly. 'I think it was just the shock, I mean he caught me by surprise otherwise I'd have totally destroyed him.'
'Of course,' Merlin nodded solemnly.
'Oh give over, Merlin, the only injury he could cause to Percy would be bruising his knuckles,' Gwaine piped up.
'Oh yeah and what about you with that chair. What were you doing - lion-taming?' Arthur laughed then winced. 'Fucking hell, he got me good.'
Someone had switched the music off and everyone was standing around looking awkward. 'Are you going to press charges?' Lance asked.
'Yeah, I know a good lawyer don't I?' Arthur said. 'But no, I don't want to go through the whole process. I just never want to see him again.'
Merlin was hovering at his elbow, wringing his hands, 'Why did he have to do this on my birthday?'
'Because he's a dick,' Arthur snarled. 'And you are far too good for the likes of him.'
Merlin looked stricken, 'But I don't know what to do, he's my boyfriend and he loves me. I doubt he meant to ruin my birthday-'
'He just knocked me out, after accusing you of cheating on him,' Arthur said. 'I think it's pretty obvious what you have to do.'
'But I love him, Arthur, it's not as easy as that to just cut things off-'
'It is easy,' Arthur interrupted.
'What would be easy is getting a group of the rugby lads and going over to his house to send him a warning,' Gwaine said, elaborately cracking his knuckles.
It was left to Lance to be the sensible one once more, 'No one is going to be sending anyone 'a warning' so please stop talking as if we're in West Side Story,' he said. 'Merlin, I think it's best if you stay at ours tonight and give Arthur a chance to cool off.'
Merlin looked on the verge of tears as he looked at Arthur, as if begging him to understand his position. Arthur looked away. 'I think that's for the best.' He felt full of righteous indignation - Percy had assaulted him in his own home and Merlin still didn't know what to do? Well, Merlin had made his bed, now he would have to lie in it.
'Gwaine, you stay here to keep an eye on Arthur and everyone else, sorry but... the party's over.'
Gwen put her arm round Merlin who immediately pressed his face in her shoulder, obviously crying. Arthur mutinously pretended to ignore him as she ushered him from the room with Lance, who gave Arthur an understanding half-smile. Arthur was feeling very bitter.
Arthur had done everything right for once in his life. He'd been kind, understanding, generous, loving and where had it got him? Knocked out on his own kitchen floor by the boyfriend of the guy who he was in love with. Who was still refusing to dump the arsehole.
Arthur looked round at all the party mess - empty cups, red wine spillage and inexplicably a load of muddy footprints - and groaned as he watched everyone file out. Well he certainly wasn't going to touch it: it was Merlin's party, so he could be the one to clean it up. Maybe Percy could help him.
'That fucker,' Gwaine's accent always got stronger when he was drunk. Or angry. Or drunk and angry. 'If Lance hadn't intervened I'd have floored him. I bet he's on steroids, looking at him. I bet he had 'roid rage',' he snarled, shadow-boxing and thus doing a pretty good impression of someone with 'roid rage' himself.
'How the fuck am I going to explain my eye on Monday?' Arthur asked, getting a frozen bag of peas from the fridge and holding it to the throbbing area.
'Mugged by a 13 year old again?' Gwaine asked flippantly.
'Fuck off, I'm not in the mood,' Arthur slumped in a chair and watched Gwaine continue to shadow-box his way around the kitchen, occasionally kicking over empty cups in some budget version of kung-fu. 'This wasn't how this was supposed to go. I gave Merlin his incredibly thoughtful present, he was supposed to realise what a dick Percy is and break up with him for me. Instead I end up alone with a fuck-off bruise developing over my eye. And I still don't get why he won't dump Percy?'
'Beats me, mate,' Gwaine shrugged. 'But I've never had a boyfriend. People do stupid things when they're in love. I don't know,' he hopped up onto the work-surface and sat there swinging his legs and looking pensive. 'Percy cheated on him which must have made him feel bad about the way he looked, and then Percy picked on him for the way he looked, whilst also being the only person to show him sexual attention. It's a vicious cycle of emotional abuse - Percy makes him feel worthless yet ultimately he feels that without Percy no one else will be interested in him, and he's therefore scared to break away. The longer he stays, the worse he will feel about his appearance. Merlin needs to feel secure in himself and not rely on a partner to provide his positive feelings of self-worth, otherwise he'll bounce from awful relationship to awful relationship.'
Arthur blinked owlishly, 'Since when did you get all analytical?'
'Ah, I don't know, I've watched a lot of Dr Phil lately. I find it fascinating. I just don't really get low self-esteem,' Gwaine flicked his hair. 'I've always thought I'm good-looking and smart. I don't need someone else to confirm it for me.'
Arthur snorted, 'So basically I shouldn't have flown off the handle at Merlin and made him feel even more shit?'
'Correct-o,' Gwaine said. 'But I don't blame you - his boyfriend knocked you out in your own home, you're entitled to a wee tantrum. I took an instant dislike to him. He's blatantly fucking at least one of those guys he brought with him. And did you see his gift to Merlin?'
'Nope?'
'He bought him a bottle of wine, blatantly picked up from the cornershop. See, it's shit like this that puts me off love. Look at you,' he gestured at Arthur's disheveled appearance. 'You've gone all pathetic, and you've got a black eye.'
'Yeah, but if Merlin decides he liked me it'll be worth it,' Arthur admitted.
'Yeah, well he's shown no sign of that has he? No 'accidental' walking in on you in the shower? No love notes under your door?'
'No,' Arthur said, his mind racing as he suddenly remembered his weird conversation with Nimueh before he got knocked out. 'But one of his friends said something about him, um, maybe liking me.'
'Sounds a bit vague to me,' Gwaine scoffed.
Arthur really couldn't let Gwaine know the truth. Not Gwaine. He'd hear about it forever and a day. So he just said, 'Yeah, maybe,' and 'mate, I'm knackered. Let's go to bed.'
He was feeling pathetic so he asked Gwaine to spoon him and he found that his warm body holding him was a soothing counter-balance to the bruised face and ego.
***
Gwaine got up early to go and play rugby and he left Arthur alone with a disgusting house, hangover-induced paranoia, and some rather depressing thoughts. So he did the only thing he could think of and called Leon.
'Merlin's boyfriend punched me and I've entered a despair spiral. Please come over as soon as possible,' he said, by way of 'hello'.
'It's Sunday morning, time for sex and fry-ups,' Leon yawned.
'I'm your best mate. I'm officially playing the 'best mate trump card',' Arthur wheedled.
'Fine,' Leon huffed.
'Bring some black plastic sacks pl-' Arthur started, but Leon had already hung up.
Arthur entertained himself by trying half-heartedly to clear the terrace of cigarette butts whilst he waited for Leon to show up. Leon would soon set him right. Leon was always so bloody level-headed and good at calling Arthur on his bullshit. He'd know what to do.
When he found Leon standing on the doorstep looking all capable and sensible and carrying cleaning products and bin-bags Arthur had to fight the urge to burst into tears.
'You look like shit,' were Leon's first words. 'Have you got a doctor to look at it?' He reached for the shiner on Arthur's face and he shimmied backwards, out of his reach.
'No, it's fine, I don't need a doctor.'
'It's massive,' Leon whistled, 'what are his fists made of? Cement?'
'Not helpful,' Arthur muttered churlishly. 'Come up and let's get stuck in.'
'No Merlin?'
'No,' he said, shortly. It was only after they'd cleared most of the surfaces and Leon had mopped the floor that he felt able to say more, and even then he felt embarrassed and paranoid. He explained the events of the previous night to Leon who 'ooh'ed and 'aah'ed in all the right places.
'So now Merlin's gone off upset with you?' he asked.
'Yeah, I wasn't very supportive. Although I'd just been knocked out by his boyfriend so...'
'Pretty good excuse,' Leon agreed. 'Merlin's probably embarrassed, and worried you hate him. I think you should text him.'
'Really?'
'Yeah, and I think you should have a surprise birthday dinner for him next week to make up for this. No Percy, obviously. Just a few of his friends. In the meantime, just be nice and understanding, and hope he comes to his senses about what a cockweasel his boyfriend is.'
'Cockweasel?'
'I'm trying to expand my vocabulary,' Leon shrugged.
Arthur texted Merlin, finding it hard to concentrate on the screen with one eye swollen shut. 'Hope you are okay this morning. Sorry for snapping last night - alcohol + massive fist = unhappy Arthur. Please come home? Ax'
It was three painful minutes (he counted) before his phone beeped again. 'I'm the one who's sorry. I'll be back for dinner. Thank you again for my present xxx.'
'There you go,' Leon said happily. 'I am a master at this kind of thing. All you can do is support Merlin, and if he breaks up with Percy, then you can make your move. Although I wonder if he might just like you as a friend? He's not hinted at anything more has he?' Leon liberally stirred sugar into his milky coffee.
'Well no, but,' Arthur paused. 'You know my author Lake Anders?'
'The one you hate who writes disgusting disgusting orgy stories where cabin-boys get spaffed on by massive bearded pirates whilst being spanked?'
'Um, yes. Him.'
'Yeah?' Leon looked confused.
'And you know how he's writing a new story about a guy seducing his room-mate and it's actually quite good?'
'Yeah, and you've been getting boners under your desk you sick fuck,' Leon sniggered.
'Have not,' Arthur said, unconvincingly. 'Anyway, Lake is. Um.'
'Spit it out. Lake is what? A woman? Pregnant? Bullying you again?'
'Lake is Merlin.'
Leon dropped his spoon with a clatter and leaned across the table. 'Shut the fuck up he is.'
'Ugh, you sound like you're from TOWIE.'
'Whatever, don't change the subject. He's actually your lovely, sweet, gawky housemate who you have a massive bonk-on for?'
'Yeah, I found out last night. And his latest story is all about room-mates slowly getting together. And well, maybe it's about me?'
Leon was looking off into space, 'Merlin came up with the stable-boy being kept tied up in a horse-stall and 'ridden' by all the grooms? And the cross-dressing nympho sucking off strangers on the tube?'
'Yes,' Arthur said in a small voice.
'God,' Leon breathed. 'Imagine the shit he's got up to in this house whilst you're away. I wouldn't even touch any of the surfaces. Or the butter. Especially the butter,' he said, in an awed tone of voice.
'I don't think he's like that,' Arthur said. 'I mean, he blushes if he brushes my knee accidentally. I think it's all an act.'
'Still, are you going to tell him you know?'
'No! How can I? He'll be mortified.'
'He'll have to find out sooner or later,' Leon said. 'Might as well be sooner. It'll just get more and more embarrassing the longer it drags on.'
'Oh, and it's just so easy to broach is it?' Arthur asked sarcastically. 'Hi Merlin, by the way, I secretly edit erotica for a living, and I'm the editor who you hated until very, very recently.'
'Nah, you've got to go to that writing awards thingy anyway, he'll find out then won't he? So you should tell him beforehand so he's prepared.'
Arthur chose to block out the 'tell him beforehand so he's prepared' and decided instead that he could just pretend to be as surprised as Merlin when they met for a drink before the awards. What could go wrong?
'You can't just turn up at the awards without him knowing and expect him not to run off in horror,' Leon said, as if he'd read his mind. Bastard.
'Yeah, obviously I wasn't going to,' Arthur's denial was a bit shit.
Leon snorted derisively and chucked some bin-bags at him. 'Let's clean the house off before he comes home you big idiot.'
***
Merlin stuck his head nervously round the lounge door when he got in that night. Arthur was ready and waiting, looking cherubic, if he did say so himself, in blue striped pyjamas and with a throw tucked up to his chin.
'How are you feeling?' Merlin asked, gingerly coming over and crouching down next to Arthur. He ran a featherlight hand over the bruised area and Arthur winced. 'Sorry, sorry.'
'Stop apologising, it's fine. Well, it's not, but it will be. Sorry for being an arse last night.'
'You weren't being an arse. Percy was.' Merlin swallowed. 'We broke up.'
'Oh,' Arthur said.
'What no, 'I'm sorry about that'?' Merlin joked, weakly.
'No,' Arthur said. 'I'm not sorry about that. I'm glad.' Really glad. Really, really glad. Ecstatic even.
'Me too,' Merlin admitted, resting his head against Arthur's knees. 'He was an arsehole wasn't he? Gwen says I need to be single for a while, and not let my self esteem get tied up in what other men think of me.'
'Oh,' Arthur swallowed.
'Yeah, not that there's anyone interested in me, or that I'm interested in.' He laughed, hollowly.
Arthur tried but it came out more like a cough.
'I'm just glad for having a friend like you.' Merlin unwittingly twisted the knife. 'I know you care about me no matter what, and that really helps. I'm so glad you're not cross with me.'
'I could never be cross with you,' Arthur said, automatically. 'You're one of my favourite people in the world.'
'Thanks,' Merlin sighed. 'Let's watch something uncomplicated and get an early night, yeah?'
'Yeah,' Arthur agreed easily.
'And thanks for being such a good friend,' Merlin squeezed his fingers. 'It means a lot.'
'Mmm,' Arthur agreed through gritted teeth. Because 'friendship' was the last thing on his mind now. And if 'Rules for Roommates' really was about him then surely it was the last thing on Merlin's mind? All he needed was to get him to admit it. But maybe that would be the hardest part of all.
CHAPTER NINE
Fandom: Merlin (Merlin/Arthur, mentions of Arthur/Gwaine)
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 3k (29k so far)
Summary: Modern AU. Arthur works in publishing and is ashamed to tell anyone he's secretly editing erotica, and being bullied by one of his authors - the arrogant 'Lake Anders'. He's also just taken in a new roommate, the adorable Merlin Emrys, who is definitely Not His Type. Or is he?
Previous chapters: CHAPTER ONE; CHAPTER TWO; CHAPTER THREE; CHAPTER FOUR; CHAPTER FIVE; CHAPTER SIX; CHAPTER SEVEN
To Arthur it felt like he'd probably been out cold for hours but in reality it was probably only a minute at most. When he opened his eyes it was to be confronted with a scene worthy of Eastenders. Gwaine had obviously been watching too many wrestling shows and was brandishing a chair in Percy's direction, Merlin was trembling by Arthur's side, and calm, sensible Lance was threatening to call the police.
'Fine, I'm leaving,' Percy snarled. He stalked out with his two sidekicks (Tweedledum and Tweedledee as Arthur had secretly named them) sloping behind him.
Arthur sat up shakily. Merlin leaned over him, 'Oh my goodness, are you okay? I'm so sorry.'
'Not my face, my beautiful, beautiful face,' Arthur joked shakily as his hand felt for what was going to be one hell of a shiner. 'My modeling career, ended before it even got started.'
'It's not funny, you idiot,' Merlin fretted. 'Do you have a concussion? How many fingers am I holding up?'
'I'm fine,' Arthur insisted. 'Three.' He got up slowly. 'I think it was just the shock, I mean he caught me by surprise otherwise I'd have totally destroyed him.'
'Of course,' Merlin nodded solemnly.
'Oh give over, Merlin, the only injury he could cause to Percy would be bruising his knuckles,' Gwaine piped up.
'Oh yeah and what about you with that chair. What were you doing - lion-taming?' Arthur laughed then winced. 'Fucking hell, he got me good.'
Someone had switched the music off and everyone was standing around looking awkward. 'Are you going to press charges?' Lance asked.
'Yeah, I know a good lawyer don't I?' Arthur said. 'But no, I don't want to go through the whole process. I just never want to see him again.'
Merlin was hovering at his elbow, wringing his hands, 'Why did he have to do this on my birthday?'
'Because he's a dick,' Arthur snarled. 'And you are far too good for the likes of him.'
Merlin looked stricken, 'But I don't know what to do, he's my boyfriend and he loves me. I doubt he meant to ruin my birthday-'
'He just knocked me out, after accusing you of cheating on him,' Arthur said. 'I think it's pretty obvious what you have to do.'
'But I love him, Arthur, it's not as easy as that to just cut things off-'
'It is easy,' Arthur interrupted.
'What would be easy is getting a group of the rugby lads and going over to his house to send him a warning,' Gwaine said, elaborately cracking his knuckles.
It was left to Lance to be the sensible one once more, 'No one is going to be sending anyone 'a warning' so please stop talking as if we're in West Side Story,' he said. 'Merlin, I think it's best if you stay at ours tonight and give Arthur a chance to cool off.'
Merlin looked on the verge of tears as he looked at Arthur, as if begging him to understand his position. Arthur looked away. 'I think that's for the best.' He felt full of righteous indignation - Percy had assaulted him in his own home and Merlin still didn't know what to do? Well, Merlin had made his bed, now he would have to lie in it.
'Gwaine, you stay here to keep an eye on Arthur and everyone else, sorry but... the party's over.'
Gwen put her arm round Merlin who immediately pressed his face in her shoulder, obviously crying. Arthur mutinously pretended to ignore him as she ushered him from the room with Lance, who gave Arthur an understanding half-smile. Arthur was feeling very bitter.
Arthur had done everything right for once in his life. He'd been kind, understanding, generous, loving and where had it got him? Knocked out on his own kitchen floor by the boyfriend of the guy who he was in love with. Who was still refusing to dump the arsehole.
Arthur looked round at all the party mess - empty cups, red wine spillage and inexplicably a load of muddy footprints - and groaned as he watched everyone file out. Well he certainly wasn't going to touch it: it was Merlin's party, so he could be the one to clean it up. Maybe Percy could help him.
'That fucker,' Gwaine's accent always got stronger when he was drunk. Or angry. Or drunk and angry. 'If Lance hadn't intervened I'd have floored him. I bet he's on steroids, looking at him. I bet he had 'roid rage',' he snarled, shadow-boxing and thus doing a pretty good impression of someone with 'roid rage' himself.
'How the fuck am I going to explain my eye on Monday?' Arthur asked, getting a frozen bag of peas from the fridge and holding it to the throbbing area.
'Mugged by a 13 year old again?' Gwaine asked flippantly.
'Fuck off, I'm not in the mood,' Arthur slumped in a chair and watched Gwaine continue to shadow-box his way around the kitchen, occasionally kicking over empty cups in some budget version of kung-fu. 'This wasn't how this was supposed to go. I gave Merlin his incredibly thoughtful present, he was supposed to realise what a dick Percy is and break up with him for me. Instead I end up alone with a fuck-off bruise developing over my eye. And I still don't get why he won't dump Percy?'
'Beats me, mate,' Gwaine shrugged. 'But I've never had a boyfriend. People do stupid things when they're in love. I don't know,' he hopped up onto the work-surface and sat there swinging his legs and looking pensive. 'Percy cheated on him which must have made him feel bad about the way he looked, and then Percy picked on him for the way he looked, whilst also being the only person to show him sexual attention. It's a vicious cycle of emotional abuse - Percy makes him feel worthless yet ultimately he feels that without Percy no one else will be interested in him, and he's therefore scared to break away. The longer he stays, the worse he will feel about his appearance. Merlin needs to feel secure in himself and not rely on a partner to provide his positive feelings of self-worth, otherwise he'll bounce from awful relationship to awful relationship.'
Arthur blinked owlishly, 'Since when did you get all analytical?'
'Ah, I don't know, I've watched a lot of Dr Phil lately. I find it fascinating. I just don't really get low self-esteem,' Gwaine flicked his hair. 'I've always thought I'm good-looking and smart. I don't need someone else to confirm it for me.'
Arthur snorted, 'So basically I shouldn't have flown off the handle at Merlin and made him feel even more shit?'
'Correct-o,' Gwaine said. 'But I don't blame you - his boyfriend knocked you out in your own home, you're entitled to a wee tantrum. I took an instant dislike to him. He's blatantly fucking at least one of those guys he brought with him. And did you see his gift to Merlin?'
'Nope?'
'He bought him a bottle of wine, blatantly picked up from the cornershop. See, it's shit like this that puts me off love. Look at you,' he gestured at Arthur's disheveled appearance. 'You've gone all pathetic, and you've got a black eye.'
'Yeah, but if Merlin decides he liked me it'll be worth it,' Arthur admitted.
'Yeah, well he's shown no sign of that has he? No 'accidental' walking in on you in the shower? No love notes under your door?'
'No,' Arthur said, his mind racing as he suddenly remembered his weird conversation with Nimueh before he got knocked out. 'But one of his friends said something about him, um, maybe liking me.'
'Sounds a bit vague to me,' Gwaine scoffed.
Arthur really couldn't let Gwaine know the truth. Not Gwaine. He'd hear about it forever and a day. So he just said, 'Yeah, maybe,' and 'mate, I'm knackered. Let's go to bed.'
He was feeling pathetic so he asked Gwaine to spoon him and he found that his warm body holding him was a soothing counter-balance to the bruised face and ego.
***
Gwaine got up early to go and play rugby and he left Arthur alone with a disgusting house, hangover-induced paranoia, and some rather depressing thoughts. So he did the only thing he could think of and called Leon.
'Merlin's boyfriend punched me and I've entered a despair spiral. Please come over as soon as possible,' he said, by way of 'hello'.
'It's Sunday morning, time for sex and fry-ups,' Leon yawned.
'I'm your best mate. I'm officially playing the 'best mate trump card',' Arthur wheedled.
'Fine,' Leon huffed.
'Bring some black plastic sacks pl-' Arthur started, but Leon had already hung up.
Arthur entertained himself by trying half-heartedly to clear the terrace of cigarette butts whilst he waited for Leon to show up. Leon would soon set him right. Leon was always so bloody level-headed and good at calling Arthur on his bullshit. He'd know what to do.
When he found Leon standing on the doorstep looking all capable and sensible and carrying cleaning products and bin-bags Arthur had to fight the urge to burst into tears.
'You look like shit,' were Leon's first words. 'Have you got a doctor to look at it?' He reached for the shiner on Arthur's face and he shimmied backwards, out of his reach.
'No, it's fine, I don't need a doctor.'
'It's massive,' Leon whistled, 'what are his fists made of? Cement?'
'Not helpful,' Arthur muttered churlishly. 'Come up and let's get stuck in.'
'No Merlin?'
'No,' he said, shortly. It was only after they'd cleared most of the surfaces and Leon had mopped the floor that he felt able to say more, and even then he felt embarrassed and paranoid. He explained the events of the previous night to Leon who 'ooh'ed and 'aah'ed in all the right places.
'So now Merlin's gone off upset with you?' he asked.
'Yeah, I wasn't very supportive. Although I'd just been knocked out by his boyfriend so...'
'Pretty good excuse,' Leon agreed. 'Merlin's probably embarrassed, and worried you hate him. I think you should text him.'
'Really?'
'Yeah, and I think you should have a surprise birthday dinner for him next week to make up for this. No Percy, obviously. Just a few of his friends. In the meantime, just be nice and understanding, and hope he comes to his senses about what a cockweasel his boyfriend is.'
'Cockweasel?'
'I'm trying to expand my vocabulary,' Leon shrugged.
Arthur texted Merlin, finding it hard to concentrate on the screen with one eye swollen shut. 'Hope you are okay this morning. Sorry for snapping last night - alcohol + massive fist = unhappy Arthur. Please come home? Ax'
It was three painful minutes (he counted) before his phone beeped again. 'I'm the one who's sorry. I'll be back for dinner. Thank you again for my present xxx.'
'There you go,' Leon said happily. 'I am a master at this kind of thing. All you can do is support Merlin, and if he breaks up with Percy, then you can make your move. Although I wonder if he might just like you as a friend? He's not hinted at anything more has he?' Leon liberally stirred sugar into his milky coffee.
'Well no, but,' Arthur paused. 'You know my author Lake Anders?'
'The one you hate who writes disgusting disgusting orgy stories where cabin-boys get spaffed on by massive bearded pirates whilst being spanked?'
'Um, yes. Him.'
'Yeah?' Leon looked confused.
'And you know how he's writing a new story about a guy seducing his room-mate and it's actually quite good?'
'Yeah, and you've been getting boners under your desk you sick fuck,' Leon sniggered.
'Have not,' Arthur said, unconvincingly. 'Anyway, Lake is. Um.'
'Spit it out. Lake is what? A woman? Pregnant? Bullying you again?'
'Lake is Merlin.'
Leon dropped his spoon with a clatter and leaned across the table. 'Shut the fuck up he is.'
'Ugh, you sound like you're from TOWIE.'
'Whatever, don't change the subject. He's actually your lovely, sweet, gawky housemate who you have a massive bonk-on for?'
'Yeah, I found out last night. And his latest story is all about room-mates slowly getting together. And well, maybe it's about me?'
Leon was looking off into space, 'Merlin came up with the stable-boy being kept tied up in a horse-stall and 'ridden' by all the grooms? And the cross-dressing nympho sucking off strangers on the tube?'
'Yes,' Arthur said in a small voice.
'God,' Leon breathed. 'Imagine the shit he's got up to in this house whilst you're away. I wouldn't even touch any of the surfaces. Or the butter. Especially the butter,' he said, in an awed tone of voice.
'I don't think he's like that,' Arthur said. 'I mean, he blushes if he brushes my knee accidentally. I think it's all an act.'
'Still, are you going to tell him you know?'
'No! How can I? He'll be mortified.'
'He'll have to find out sooner or later,' Leon said. 'Might as well be sooner. It'll just get more and more embarrassing the longer it drags on.'
'Oh, and it's just so easy to broach is it?' Arthur asked sarcastically. 'Hi Merlin, by the way, I secretly edit erotica for a living, and I'm the editor who you hated until very, very recently.'
'Nah, you've got to go to that writing awards thingy anyway, he'll find out then won't he? So you should tell him beforehand so he's prepared.'
Arthur chose to block out the 'tell him beforehand so he's prepared' and decided instead that he could just pretend to be as surprised as Merlin when they met for a drink before the awards. What could go wrong?
'You can't just turn up at the awards without him knowing and expect him not to run off in horror,' Leon said, as if he'd read his mind. Bastard.
'Yeah, obviously I wasn't going to,' Arthur's denial was a bit shit.
Leon snorted derisively and chucked some bin-bags at him. 'Let's clean the house off before he comes home you big idiot.'
***
Merlin stuck his head nervously round the lounge door when he got in that night. Arthur was ready and waiting, looking cherubic, if he did say so himself, in blue striped pyjamas and with a throw tucked up to his chin.
'How are you feeling?' Merlin asked, gingerly coming over and crouching down next to Arthur. He ran a featherlight hand over the bruised area and Arthur winced. 'Sorry, sorry.'
'Stop apologising, it's fine. Well, it's not, but it will be. Sorry for being an arse last night.'
'You weren't being an arse. Percy was.' Merlin swallowed. 'We broke up.'
'Oh,' Arthur said.
'What no, 'I'm sorry about that'?' Merlin joked, weakly.
'No,' Arthur said. 'I'm not sorry about that. I'm glad.' Really glad. Really, really glad. Ecstatic even.
'Me too,' Merlin admitted, resting his head against Arthur's knees. 'He was an arsehole wasn't he? Gwen says I need to be single for a while, and not let my self esteem get tied up in what other men think of me.'
'Oh,' Arthur swallowed.
'Yeah, not that there's anyone interested in me, or that I'm interested in.' He laughed, hollowly.
Arthur tried but it came out more like a cough.
'I'm just glad for having a friend like you.' Merlin unwittingly twisted the knife. 'I know you care about me no matter what, and that really helps. I'm so glad you're not cross with me.'
'I could never be cross with you,' Arthur said, automatically. 'You're one of my favourite people in the world.'
'Thanks,' Merlin sighed. 'Let's watch something uncomplicated and get an early night, yeah?'
'Yeah,' Arthur agreed easily.
'And thanks for being such a good friend,' Merlin squeezed his fingers. 'It means a lot.'
'Mmm,' Arthur agreed through gritted teeth. Because 'friendship' was the last thing on his mind now. And if 'Rules for Roommates' really was about him then surely it was the last thing on Merlin's mind? All he needed was to get him to admit it. But maybe that would be the hardest part of all.
CHAPTER NINE