(no subject)
so i realized i wrote a lot of bad stuff, and as soon as the good stuff happens, i go silent. so, here's the quick update. i now have 2 jobs, and i'm training at both of them right now. it's exhausting, but it'll be worth it in the end, especially when i nail down exact hours i can work. that and getting my credit card have made life substantially easy. there were some hard times w/ the friend i was rooming w/. he was saying he wanted to quit drinking after a particularly harsh night when he "tried" to kill himself. i say it like that cuz he did the attention grabbing cuts on his arm, not the kind that will actually kill you. he was doing ok, but then he started drinking again. one night last week, he got pretty smashed and started texting danny and skyler. his relationship w/ them was already on the edge. after that night, they were done. they haven't talked to him since and they told me that i was moving in w/ them the next morning. freddy came home that night after i'd talked to them. i was on the phone w/ a friend when he came in the room w/ a knife in one hand and the attention cuts on his other arm. "i'm gonna have to call you back, my roommate is trying to kill himself again." i told my friend. i didn't baby him. "what the fuck are you doing?" i demanded and grabbed the knife. he walked away, i closed the door. i was already done at that point. i came out later and he had all the knives and the pizza cutter next to him on the table. i took those too and put them in the room w/ me. i was seriously ready to lock him out of the room and make him sleep on the living room floor. i came out again to use the bathroom and i heard him sobbing. he told me that he just found out his grandmother had died. he was telling me about it, but i just couldn't sympathize or be nice about it. i told him i was so mad and so done at that moment that i was just numb to him. i moved out the next day and have only talked to him via text message since. and since i've been living w/ skyler and danny, life has just been so much less stressful. the lack of drama is palpable. the training w/ friday's will be done next week, and i'll be serving at lombardi's, a nice italian place in the planet hollywood casino, by the end of this one. i won't be able to do my queen of hearts costume for halloween, but i'll be able to do the trojan goddess of s&m i didn't get to do last week. i had really good sex the other night and i'm hoping to have another round tonight, which always makes me happy. and my credit card will cover my necessities until i start bringing in some cash. life got a hell of a lot better. i don't feel as lost when i'm driving around, and just today, it felt like home. i'm really excited about that.