All sorts (as usual)
I guess I'll start with the most recent, because it's on my mind: Merlin doesn't seem well at all, much worse than he has been over the last year. I gave him his insulin this evening but he hadn't eaten his dinner and when D came home from his performance (it's show week) Merlin was staggering around. D says Merlin will be lucky to last the month. Not in the sense that he thinks Merlin will actually die, but in the sense that his quality of life will be so diminished that it would be wrong to force him to keep going. I try to think back to the Merlin of 10 and 12 years ago, how he used to bounce and go on hikes with us. How he made a beeline for Phoebe's food bowl when D first brought him home from Hartford. We took him from Philly to Colorado Springs, to a summer in Vermont and then here to the UK. I remember him in his crate at Newark, getting ready for the flight over. Seems like a lifetime ago. And while I never had the kind of attachment to him that D has - I mean, he really is D's dog mostly - the house will seem so empty without him. Differently now then in the way it would have had we lost him a few years ago. Then we might have noticed his absence more by the lack of an occasional bark when someone passes the house, or the way he'd hear the car coming down the street and jump up on the sofa in excitement. Now it would be the nervous pawing on the hallway floor that we would miss. I feel sad watching his life come to an end and I feel sad for D.
J is 18 months old and it feels like a huge milestone. He's very much a toddler but the main development over the last couple of months is the fact that he really does understand what we tell him. If I tell him it's time to eat, he goes to his booster seat and pulls on the straps. When I ask him to find his shoes, he runs around the downstairs saying "shzzz" and looks for them. He did start saying words a few months ago, but there haven't been any new ones over the last little while - at least nothing that I've noticed. But he is starting to clue in to how things work. He has a little ride-on toy that has a handle in the back and up till recently he's preferred to push it around the downstairs. But lately he's been sitting on the seat and scooting around instead. He's started giving me big wet kisses on the cheek - he opens his mouth, presses his face against mine for the longest time and then suddenly pulls his head away, saying "mah." And then he laughs. His sleeping is still not great, though we've had a few nights where he's only woken once. And though he woke last night around 3 (and didn't go back to sleep till 5) I didn't actually feed him and he was ok with that.
I had the funniest conversation with M's teacher, Miss R, last week. I went up to her after school and told her that M is reading. It took a minute for the significance of that to sink in and then her eyes popped out. D and I love reading, B has always been a reader, J will sit with books for hours if you only let him. M has always loved to be read to but hasn't even had the patience to just sit with a book...until now. It started a few weeks ago with Horrid Henry and continues into this week with Harry Potter. I'm sure he's just skipping over the long words - but whatever, he's reading! To the point where I tell him it's time for a snack and he says he'll come down when he finishes the chapter.
B came home last week with a letter from school about a 5-day residential [overnight] trip offered to his year group next year, when they're in Year 6. There are 70-odd kids in their year (in two classes) but only 48 places are offered. A friend of mine was outraged at this; she felt that any trip ought to be able to include the entire year group, or enable children whose parents don't want them to sleep away to enjoy the experiences on offer. So I did talk the school secretary and it seems that there's always a group of kids who simply don't want to go away. Well, B wants to go and D and I have decided to send him.
The other day he said to me, "You know what? I have a lot on my plate right now." "Funny that," I replied, "I have three kids, two cats and a diabetic dog. I have a part time job and an allotment. I'm secretary of the PTFA and I'm starting my own business." He thought about it for a second and said, "Yeah, you do have a lot on your plate." Yes, I'm starting my own very, very part time business, which I'll be launching in the form of a stall at the local street fair - making all sorts of chocolaty yummies. I've had business cards printed! I can't wait.
I had a funny thought last night when I got out of the shower. I was remembering this woman I knew in Reading - her two kids were roughly the same ages as B and M. I remembered how she used to ask me, when she saw me at playgroups or just out in the neighborhood, how I was coping. I was always amused by her choice of words - how was I coping? It always made me feel as though I should be struggling. It all came back to me last night as I looked at the dirty bathroom tiles and the overflowing waste basket. Am I coping? The house is filthy. I'm going to have to do some serious cleaning in my kitchen before I can make anything that I intend on selling. There are random piles of stuff everywhere. Yes, we eat well and we're in clean clothes, but if you came into my house you'd probably conclude that I wasn't coping. Mostly, I feel tired and when I finally get a few minutes to myself I don't really feel like cleaning. But I'm happy.
J is 18 months old and it feels like a huge milestone. He's very much a toddler but the main development over the last couple of months is the fact that he really does understand what we tell him. If I tell him it's time to eat, he goes to his booster seat and pulls on the straps. When I ask him to find his shoes, he runs around the downstairs saying "shzzz" and looks for them. He did start saying words a few months ago, but there haven't been any new ones over the last little while - at least nothing that I've noticed. But he is starting to clue in to how things work. He has a little ride-on toy that has a handle in the back and up till recently he's preferred to push it around the downstairs. But lately he's been sitting on the seat and scooting around instead. He's started giving me big wet kisses on the cheek - he opens his mouth, presses his face against mine for the longest time and then suddenly pulls his head away, saying "mah." And then he laughs. His sleeping is still not great, though we've had a few nights where he's only woken once. And though he woke last night around 3 (and didn't go back to sleep till 5) I didn't actually feed him and he was ok with that.
I had the funniest conversation with M's teacher, Miss R, last week. I went up to her after school and told her that M is reading. It took a minute for the significance of that to sink in and then her eyes popped out. D and I love reading, B has always been a reader, J will sit with books for hours if you only let him. M has always loved to be read to but hasn't even had the patience to just sit with a book...until now. It started a few weeks ago with Horrid Henry and continues into this week with Harry Potter. I'm sure he's just skipping over the long words - but whatever, he's reading! To the point where I tell him it's time for a snack and he says he'll come down when he finishes the chapter.
B came home last week with a letter from school about a 5-day residential [overnight] trip offered to his year group next year, when they're in Year 6. There are 70-odd kids in their year (in two classes) but only 48 places are offered. A friend of mine was outraged at this; she felt that any trip ought to be able to include the entire year group, or enable children whose parents don't want them to sleep away to enjoy the experiences on offer. So I did talk the school secretary and it seems that there's always a group of kids who simply don't want to go away. Well, B wants to go and D and I have decided to send him.
The other day he said to me, "You know what? I have a lot on my plate right now." "Funny that," I replied, "I have three kids, two cats and a diabetic dog. I have a part time job and an allotment. I'm secretary of the PTFA and I'm starting my own business." He thought about it for a second and said, "Yeah, you do have a lot on your plate." Yes, I'm starting my own very, very part time business, which I'll be launching in the form of a stall at the local street fair - making all sorts of chocolaty yummies. I've had business cards printed! I can't wait.
I had a funny thought last night when I got out of the shower. I was remembering this woman I knew in Reading - her two kids were roughly the same ages as B and M. I remembered how she used to ask me, when she saw me at playgroups or just out in the neighborhood, how I was coping. I was always amused by her choice of words - how was I coping? It always made me feel as though I should be struggling. It all came back to me last night as I looked at the dirty bathroom tiles and the overflowing waste basket. Am I coping? The house is filthy. I'm going to have to do some serious cleaning in my kitchen before I can make anything that I intend on selling. There are random piles of stuff everywhere. Yes, we eat well and we're in clean clothes, but if you came into my house you'd probably conclude that I wasn't coping. Mostly, I feel tired and when I finally get a few minutes to myself I don't really feel like cleaning. But I'm happy.