(no subject)
i'm in frisco. i drove for 6 hours. i haven't cried all day. til now. my tears just suddenly started to fall. crying my eyes out again. i was strong the whole day. i was strong the whole trip here. i was strong for my mom. i don't want her to see me crying. keeping it in, hurts so much more. but i'm trying. trying to pretend and maybe it will work. but it's so hard. so hard to not show my emotions. to pretend. i'm not myself. especially while listening to songs on my way here. i kept everything in. and now i've exploded. exploded into tears again. i guess it's because i'm alone. everyone's sleeping. and now i don't have to hide anymore. i'm trying to keep my word. to think positive. but it's still coming back. the pain. but i'm moving along. i'm thankful for my family and my friends who are comforting me. i'm very thankful. i've realized that my mom and my brother will always be there for me. even if they don't show it everyday. but they've shown how much they love me these past couple of days. my brother has my back, he made me cry because he said that even though he doesn't show it all the time, that he will always be there for me. my mom told me stories that i've never heard of before. stories of courage. her past and how she dealt with it. she told me that it will hurt a lot and not to rush it. because if i put it aside, it might come back. it's better to let everything out now, so i could move on. she's still friends with her first love. it was hard in the beginning, but she made it. my family supports all of my decisions, they said they will be there for me no matter what....i love them so much. i know that i'm not alone. that i have people who care for me. but the only thing that matters right now is you. i want you to care for me. i want you to love me. but i know it's not possible right now. and i'm trying to accept it. i feel that you've just dropped me. that you're moving along. we have no contact. nothing. nothing. i just lost you. just like that. you said that you would call. but no calls. nothing. it hurts. it hurts a lot. and maybe you do care. a little bit. i hope. i pray. that i will get through this. this is the time you need, right. and i'm giving you all the time you need. can you at least send me a message, a sign. even if it's not directly to me. through someone else. something. just to let me know that i meant something, and i was nothing. i understood everything you told me. but why is it so hard right now. you told me that i mean so much to you. but right now i feel that i don't. i don't mean anything. there's so many things going through my mind. i thought i was good. there's times when i feel so strong. but i disappoint myself and fall right to the beginning. i've calmed myself down. letting this all out, is helping.
there's an oldies song that played. and it describes how i feel.
Somewhere down the road
We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn't have you for a long time
Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if they're calling you away
I have no right to make you stay
But
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong with me
Sometimes goodbyes are not forever
It doesn't matter if you're gone
I still believe in us together
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home
And
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong with me
Letting go is just another way to say
I'll always love you so
We had the right love
At the wrong time
Maybe we've only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come
'Cause
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong
With me
i just want to let you know that I LOVE YOU! i want to call you so bad, send you a letter, text you, email you. i want to let you know how i feel. maybe it'll make me feel a little bit better. i know you might not feel the same way. i just want to let it out.
there's an oldies song that played. and it describes how i feel.
Somewhere down the road
We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn't have you for a long time
Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if they're calling you away
I have no right to make you stay
But
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong with me
Sometimes goodbyes are not forever
It doesn't matter if you're gone
I still believe in us together
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home
And
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong with me
Letting go is just another way to say
I'll always love you so
We had the right love
At the wrong time
Maybe we've only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come
'Cause
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong
With me
i just want to let you know that I LOVE YOU! i want to call you so bad, send you a letter, text you, email you. i want to let you know how i feel. maybe it'll make me feel a little bit better. i know you might not feel the same way. i just want to let it out.