hard to think.

[phoebeann]

my cousins are trying to help me move on. there are some things that are so hurtful. it makes me think. feelngs don't go away. was i passing time? was i a rebound? i know the reasons. it was probably never your intention to hurt me. but you did. dreams are dreams. but when you say you're thinking about her, it means that she's still a very important part of your life. that she's still stuck in your heart. you haven't moved on! why? why can't you. it might just take time. every minute, i start to think. if its worth waiting. if its worth thinking about you. it's making me stronger. my cousins are helping me to move on. i'm losing hope for us. but they understand if one day we end up together. you told me once, twice. that you need time. that she's still in your mind. you may not want her there. but you're thinking. when will it be over? trust is so hard. how come i understood before, maybe because i still had hope that you'll be able to let go soon. but maybe it was my fault for staying. that in the end i was still the one that lost. i was the one that was hurt. love made me blind. blind to think that it will hurt me in the end. i believed in you. i was looking too much for happiness. and now it's hard. its hard now because you left me. it's hard that i'm alone. they said its the best for me. that it's better that you told me now than later. but my hopes are fading away. but i guess there will still be that little piece of hope that you will come back to me one day and prove to me how much you love me. that i'm the only one in your heart. that i don't have to share your feelings. that you're 110% mine. and that you deserve me.

every hour, i have a different attitude. i guess this is how it goes. i hope you're okay. i hope the best for you. you gotta do what you gotta do. we're separating now. we might get back together. it's hard. i wonder if you're feeling the same way that i do right now. or you're just taking time for yourself. i will never know. i just have to have that piece of hope to keep me sane. =). thanks for everything.