Motherless.

[phirefly]

I've been meaning to post about this since Friday, in particular because I could use some outside perspective which doesn't amount to hollow platitudes like 'give her time' which doesn't do anyone any good. I just haven't known what to say. I still don't. There's no way to do this succinctly. The problem itself is not succinct. It's not neat and

Comments

[angus_mcnitt]

I've been hearing "Nic's Mom" stories for a while. I agree, she is getting worse. You and Eric may have precipitated this, but not intentionally. You have both struggled to overcome and build lives for yourselves. As time has gone on you have found your own happiness, and I think this frustrates her. I remember all the petty comments and snide remarks at your wedding from her. I've heard about things from Eric's. I really believe that your striving for success has upset her. If it is from anger at accomplishing what she hasn't, or that your requiring her help (as opposed to just wanting her company), I can't say.

I hate to say it, but there is nothing you can do now. Your mother started down this road. She went way to far over the line. (I mean saying that she wouldn't mind a child dying to their face; seriously lady, fucking epic 'being human' fail. Forget parenting.) She has to decide to make the change, you can make her. Maybe when it sinks in that she finally went to far... but be prepared if it doesn't.

Yes she is family, but you have taken so many hits from her it's ridiculous. You have to live and love for you, and her toxicity is outrageous. This time she has to be the one to try to fix this breach. I agree that she needs some serious help, but she has to agree. Maybe waking up alone on Christmas will be that catalyst. If so, that's the best Christmas you could give her.

Sorry to rant. I see really bad parenting everyday here. I also see some really awesome parenting. The awesome ones make me realize how bad the bad ones really are.

You and Eric however are awesome, fuck what anyone else says. `Cause I'm awesome, and I approve this message.

[phirefly]

It's not quite that easy. I love her. More than damned near anything else. She's someone I truly and genuinely consider essential to my existence. So, out of my own self-interest, I need to fix things, I need to help her. A sane person does not say the things she's said. She needs help.

[angus_mcnitt]

I agree she needs help, but she has to realise it. If you force it, it will only break further. She'll just drive you away harder.

Your job now is the help her fix it. It's up to her to realise that it needs to be fixed.

I have no doubt that if she does decide to, you will right there to help.