Adulthood
As someone who grew up with two brothers, then lived with people who didn't actually threaten to murder me in self defence, the habit to jump out at people in dark hallways is still pretty strong in me. This habit extends to sneaking into people's rooms and hiding under their beds, or, in one specific case, sneak into Lara's room and unplug her heater because earlier that night it had become mysteriously unplugged and she suspected foul play/ghosts.
Because unplugged it again then denying it would be hilarious, right?
I am so not allowed to have any fun in this house any more.
Anyway later that conversation somehow led to...
Lara: I swear to god Alison, if you pour maple syrup into my chotch when I'm asleep and make me think a ghost did it I WILL KILL YOU!
At least I'm still allowed to be weird.
Last night the water boil notice was lifted (HURFUCKINGRAH!) but that AFTERNOON we'd done two loads of dishes after boiling a whole lot of water on the stove. Annoying timing, CDHB! But we did need those dishes done, because last night...
Leah: Alison, we are eating with plastic forks. This has gotten out of hand WHEN WILL WE BE GROWN UPS?
When we are not twenty-somethings living in a state of emergency, Leah, that's when.
Actually that's a lie. I don't actually believe grown-ups exist.
Incidentally we now have two broken bras on the wall above the door and all four cups are filled with chocolate eggs. Easter is awesome. My boss came to the house to pick me up the other day and she was early, so I invited her in while I sorted out my hair and shoes and she was wondering about the wall-bras. I think she thinks I am Young and Quirky.
Some more quotes from last night...
Lara: My story was so much better because instead of one lung she had EIGHT!
Lara (later) Are you going to glue my chotch together and make me think a ghost did it?!
Lara (from the other room): Does your yeasty vagina have to be on the counter!?
That one there has a perfectly reasonable explanation. The maple-syrup conversation from before led to (or originated from) a conversation about yeast infections. I don't remember why. So I drew a vagina on an envelope, smeared it with chap stick (I couldn't find glue) and sprinkled yeast on it, to illustrate how a yeast infection works. (I'd had wine.)
Then I didn't want to throw the vagina-lope out because it's ART.
Lara: My hand smells like knob! Do you want to smell it!?
This mafternoon we're all sitting around writing and drinking coffee/tea (Leah managed to spill tea all over herself, very cleverly, after trying to shut the pantry door on the hand holding the tea. I don't know how she does it) and putting off going to the store to get hot dogs for dinner.
Lara: You know how I said I wanted to write Chaucer? The other day at placement I was practising writing journal entries in middle English. Fuck I'm a nerd.
Meanwhile people outside are getting on with their lives and someone somewhere is building/fixing something.
*banging from outside*, Lara stares at me: It sounds like someone's banging to get out of you.
It's pretty random, this house.
Lara, pushing all her hair over her face: I'm in a womb.
Because unplugged it again then denying it would be hilarious, right?
I am so not allowed to have any fun in this house any more.
Anyway later that conversation somehow led to...
Lara: I swear to god Alison, if you pour maple syrup into my chotch when I'm asleep and make me think a ghost did it I WILL KILL YOU!
At least I'm still allowed to be weird.
Last night the water boil notice was lifted (HURFUCKINGRAH!) but that AFTERNOON we'd done two loads of dishes after boiling a whole lot of water on the stove. Annoying timing, CDHB! But we did need those dishes done, because last night...
Leah: Alison, we are eating with plastic forks. This has gotten out of hand WHEN WILL WE BE GROWN UPS?
When we are not twenty-somethings living in a state of emergency, Leah, that's when.
Actually that's a lie. I don't actually believe grown-ups exist.
Incidentally we now have two broken bras on the wall above the door and all four cups are filled with chocolate eggs. Easter is awesome. My boss came to the house to pick me up the other day and she was early, so I invited her in while I sorted out my hair and shoes and she was wondering about the wall-bras. I think she thinks I am Young and Quirky.
Some more quotes from last night...
Lara: My story was so much better because instead of one lung she had EIGHT!
Lara (later) Are you going to glue my chotch together and make me think a ghost did it?!
Lara (from the other room): Does your yeasty vagina have to be on the counter!?
That one there has a perfectly reasonable explanation. The maple-syrup conversation from before led to (or originated from) a conversation about yeast infections. I don't remember why. So I drew a vagina on an envelope, smeared it with chap stick (I couldn't find glue) and sprinkled yeast on it, to illustrate how a yeast infection works. (I'd had wine.)
Then I didn't want to throw the vagina-lope out because it's ART.
Lara: My hand smells like knob! Do you want to smell it!?
This mafternoon we're all sitting around writing and drinking coffee/tea (Leah managed to spill tea all over herself, very cleverly, after trying to shut the pantry door on the hand holding the tea. I don't know how she does it) and putting off going to the store to get hot dogs for dinner.
Lara: You know how I said I wanted to write Chaucer? The other day at placement I was practising writing journal entries in middle English. Fuck I'm a nerd.
Meanwhile people outside are getting on with their lives and someone somewhere is building/fixing something.
*banging from outside*, Lara stares at me: It sounds like someone's banging to get out of you.
It's pretty random, this house.
Lara, pushing all her hair over her face: I'm in a womb.