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itstonedme September 28 2008, 15:49:05 UTC
Your hemi-drabble (btw, if this word doesn't exist, let's launch it; it's heavily borrowed from aquila0212's post yesterday about her iguana) sounds lovely. In the great playground of lotr fandom, I would be hard-pressed to say that 55 words haven't been repeated in style from time to time. After all, there are only so many words and so many sentiments. Let's see what others may say.

As for bringing up slash to friends, I have only one very dear friend who I've mentioned this to. It's not her thing. She has expressed no interest in reading it, and when she does, I'll introduce her the same way I got into it, with the P and PG stuff. You gotta break it to them gently. What she encourages, however, is that I just keep writing it, because she thinks there's a book in me somewhere and that any amount of writing is A Good Thing. Frankly, that's her fantasy:-) But I have mentioned to others that guy-on-guy, especially two very-hetero guys, is my kink, just like for guys, the reverse is true. I mean, just trawl the porn shelves ( ... )

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ph34rmoi September 28 2008, 23:04:57 UTC
Ah, your "I would be hard-pressed to say that 55 words haven't been repeated in style from time to time" definitely makes sense. I didn't really think of it that way. Okay, I think I will not worry unless someone actually gives me a fic/drabble/whatever (hemi-drabble =P I like the new word) that I find really similar to Love.

Yeah, I brought up slash to one of my guy friends, but the reason I was able to was because we are not close, and it is easy to confess things to strangers. He had confessed to me that he often has gay experiences/urges (omg my slashy mind totally went haywire), and that led to me being comfortable enough to tell him about me reading slash.

YES the celebrity thing was totally it! Also the fanfiction thing--I'd only ever read one fanfiction-y thing before, which was basically this girl writing a post-Harry-Potter romance between Cho Chang and Draco Malfoy. I was so very confused, and I think it was hard for me to really "get it." I remember reading talesinbloom's Coffee Break and Milkman, and I was like, ( ... )

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theartoffic September 28 2008, 21:45:38 UTC
I think it probably is just that you re-read those lines so many times. I know I sometimes get paranoid I've lifted something from what I've read, though it would be totally unintentional judging from how poor my memory is *g ( ... )

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ph34rmoi September 28 2008, 23:08:53 UTC
Hee. =) You are so cute. Thanks, honey.

You totally make sense! And I agree that if he wants me for me, he would accept this. I think he would accept it, but I just feel like he would be weirded out. Like itstonedme said, the celeb aspect kind of makes it different from run-of-the-mill fiction. I mean, it's real people that are kind of fictitious... I dunno. I do not really know what I am thinking.

But thanks again! *hugs you back*

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illuins_lair July 3 2009, 09:11:36 UTC
Oh. I know _exactly_ this feeling.. For 4 years i´ve been fighting with myself; to bring it up?/not bring it up?/how to bring it up?/could I just stop reading? etc etc. As you were describing your BF as initially homophobic I can only say that it was the sameoldstory and I have been the transgressive one all along causing godknows how many fights about ambiguety/sexual preference/gay friends and on and on, driving me crazy in the course of defending myself and the issues of my open mind. I wanted so much to be loved for me being me, you know. But the slash.. it always came down to the slash somehow. Because I couldn´t find the way to explain it, making me feel so uncomfortable about it due to all the other topics we had gone through argueing about. I still haven´t solved this, and it bothers me like hell. So I really don´t have any advice to give you, except letting you know that I share the experience with you.
*hugs*

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ph34rmoi August 6 2009, 05:57:49 UTC
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. It feels like you shouldn't keep it a secret because you're having to hide a part of yourself and yet...

Anyway. It has been a while now, the boyfriend I had when I wrote this post is no longer my boyfriend. The man I am currently dating now? I told him like within a week of knowing him, and he was completely fine with it. For some reason I can't keep secrets around him. I don't want to offer unsolicited advice, but I just want to say that I know that for me, being ashamed to bring up a part of my life was one of the big problems of my old relationship.

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illuins_lair February 4 2010, 01:41:01 UTC
I had forgotten about this reply so sorry for a late response... *facepalm*

It´s great to hear that you´ve been able to be open from the start with your new partner, I guess guilt builds up when it´s not immediately dealt with. The feeling of being ashamed of secret parts of one´s life is so destructive. I´m truly happy that it has taken on a different approach for you! *HUGS*

Though as it seems now ages ago, I have to add that since becoming warmer in my LJ-shoes it has helped me dealing with this a lot (for myself at least). The internal slash-conflict has reached a state of inner acceptance somehow. *g*

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