CoSleeping
Part three in "Why I do what I do".
I really am just posting these so people understand my reasoning. It may seem like a lot of what I do is irrational, dangerous, or just plain wrong. But I do have logical reasons for everything I do. And so I like to talk about it, not only so others can understand, but so I can understand myself better too.
I can't remember the first time I heard about cosleeping. But I know that if I hadn't heard about it, I don't think it would have occurred to me to actually do it. I would have been the mama who wakes up 10,000 times a night to go into the nursery to check on the baby. I loved having V close to me in the beginning. And I still do. I read that cosleeping helps bonding, and makes breastfeeding at night easier. I liked hearing that it was ok to want to be near your newborn. I remember thinking before I had kids that I would never want to let my baby go once I got her here (yes, I always wanted a girl, and always pictured myself with a daughter, even though throughour the whole pregnancy I thought V was a boy. :)).
Anyway, I also read about how people were afraid to sleep with their children for fear they'd roll over on them, or suffocate them, or they'd "never" leave. I've never once worried about rolling over onto V. I don't roll over onto Chris, and I don't fall out of bed. I trusted that my nighttime awareness would extend to my daughter. And it did. And not only that, but it became more acute. I would wake up to see Chris about to elbow her, or the sheet over her face, and I could address that. (BTW, Chris has never inadvertenly hurt V in his sleep either). As for suffocating, there is scientific evdience that cosleeping actually reduces SIDS. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp
I'm not worried about V "never" leaving, just like I'm not worried that she'll "never" stop breastfeeding. These things happen when they're ready for them to happen. I remember as a child, I always wanted my mom to sit with me for a bit before bed, and she was never very willing to. I remember begging her to stay with me, and she wouldn't. Even as a teenager, I remember being resentful that my parents were able to sleep together, but I was forced to sleep alone. I don't want my daughter to feel the same way I did as a child, so I will absolutely sleep with her til she is ready to sleep by herself. Although right now, we live in a one bedroom apt with one bed, we are planning on getting dd her own bed when we move to a larger apt, and she is welcome to sleep there for naps, part of the night, none of the night, all of the night, as she desires. I see cosleeping as a continuum. There are many ways to do it, and meet everyone's needs.
Here's a list of all the different ways I've read about other families cosleeping:
*Family Bed: Baby sleeps with the parents, in their bed.
*Sidecar/Side by side: Baby sleeps in crib attached to bed, Child sleeps on mattress in same room as parents
*Sibling beds: Siblings sleep together in the same bed in same or different room as parents
*Musical beds: Parents and children move around to different beds on different nights as needed. (Eg, mama sleeps in bed with sick child, father sleeps with well child in different room, they switch the following night)
But the main reason I cosleep is because I'm lazy, and I like my sleep. I don't even have to wake fully to do night feedings. I don't have to get out of bed. And if I'm worried about V in the night, all I have to do is look over and there she is, her chest gently rising and falling in her sleep.
More about cosleeping:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/guide.html (Read about this guys work, it's very interesting!)
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/overlaying.html
I really am just posting these so people understand my reasoning. It may seem like a lot of what I do is irrational, dangerous, or just plain wrong. But I do have logical reasons for everything I do. And so I like to talk about it, not only so others can understand, but so I can understand myself better too.
I can't remember the first time I heard about cosleeping. But I know that if I hadn't heard about it, I don't think it would have occurred to me to actually do it. I would have been the mama who wakes up 10,000 times a night to go into the nursery to check on the baby. I loved having V close to me in the beginning. And I still do. I read that cosleeping helps bonding, and makes breastfeeding at night easier. I liked hearing that it was ok to want to be near your newborn. I remember thinking before I had kids that I would never want to let my baby go once I got her here (yes, I always wanted a girl, and always pictured myself with a daughter, even though throughour the whole pregnancy I thought V was a boy. :)).
Anyway, I also read about how people were afraid to sleep with their children for fear they'd roll over on them, or suffocate them, or they'd "never" leave. I've never once worried about rolling over onto V. I don't roll over onto Chris, and I don't fall out of bed. I trusted that my nighttime awareness would extend to my daughter. And it did. And not only that, but it became more acute. I would wake up to see Chris about to elbow her, or the sheet over her face, and I could address that. (BTW, Chris has never inadvertenly hurt V in his sleep either). As for suffocating, there is scientific evdience that cosleeping actually reduces SIDS. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp
I'm not worried about V "never" leaving, just like I'm not worried that she'll "never" stop breastfeeding. These things happen when they're ready for them to happen. I remember as a child, I always wanted my mom to sit with me for a bit before bed, and she was never very willing to. I remember begging her to stay with me, and she wouldn't. Even as a teenager, I remember being resentful that my parents were able to sleep together, but I was forced to sleep alone. I don't want my daughter to feel the same way I did as a child, so I will absolutely sleep with her til she is ready to sleep by herself. Although right now, we live in a one bedroom apt with one bed, we are planning on getting dd her own bed when we move to a larger apt, and she is welcome to sleep there for naps, part of the night, none of the night, all of the night, as she desires. I see cosleeping as a continuum. There are many ways to do it, and meet everyone's needs.
Here's a list of all the different ways I've read about other families cosleeping:
*Family Bed: Baby sleeps with the parents, in their bed.
*Sidecar/Side by side: Baby sleeps in crib attached to bed, Child sleeps on mattress in same room as parents
*Sibling beds: Siblings sleep together in the same bed in same or different room as parents
*Musical beds: Parents and children move around to different beds on different nights as needed. (Eg, mama sleeps in bed with sick child, father sleeps with well child in different room, they switch the following night)
But the main reason I cosleep is because I'm lazy, and I like my sleep. I don't even have to wake fully to do night feedings. I don't have to get out of bed. And if I'm worried about V in the night, all I have to do is look over and there she is, her chest gently rising and falling in her sleep.
More about cosleeping:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/guide.html (Read about this guys work, it's very interesting!)
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/overlaying.html