Avoidance
Yes, Mika was caught in the area of the hurricane and tsunami. I know she is alright, but what makes me feel worse is that I can't be there for her. I know that if I were in Japan right now I would feel even worse because I would be in Sapporo and unable to get to her.
I can't stand to look at anything about it. I am ignoring it the best I can. An email from Narumi said, "Sendai will never be the Sendai that you knew." I've been holding back tears since Friday and I don't know how long I can last.
Due to the risk of radiation from the blasts and meltdowns at the nuclear power plants in Fukushima, I can only hope that Mika is alright and hasn't been exposed to major radiation. Fukushima is thirty minutes by train away from her, after all. I wish that I could somehow contact her and tell her to flee to Sapporo to either her old host family or mine, who would gladly take her in, but I can't contact her and I can't be there for her. I can't explain how it feels. I can't explain my own hopelessness and feelings so I'm not even going to try. I feel upset that I am here and everything is going on there. My family tells me that they're happy, that I'm lucky I'm here....but it just makes me feel horrible.
The Department of State has issued a warning that people shouldn't travel to Tokyo unless they really have to due to the threat of radiation. I have decided to postpone my trip back to Japan, to quit the job that I had lined up, and pray that somehow things work out for me. I have to go back to Japan, but as of yesterday the transit systems in Tokyo proper weren't even running normally. There's going to be so much work to do to get everything back in order.
Words fail me. I can't explain the stress in the situation that I have facing me. Of course my other friends are alright, the people I know are unharmed, but I can't explain how I am going to have to make a major-life decision that I never thought that I'd have to make. It's hard because every time I think about it, I almost start to cry, I can't hold back all the emotions, but I have to make a decision to see whether I am going to stay or I am going to go regardless of the potential risk with radiation. So instead of pondering and thinking about it, I avoid thinking about it and move on to something else, ignoring it all.
I just wish that I could see Mika and hold her and tell her that things are going to be okay. I wish I had spent the extra money to go and see her before I left.
All I have left for me are regrets that have no meaning.
I can't stand to look at anything about it. I am ignoring it the best I can. An email from Narumi said, "Sendai will never be the Sendai that you knew." I've been holding back tears since Friday and I don't know how long I can last.
Due to the risk of radiation from the blasts and meltdowns at the nuclear power plants in Fukushima, I can only hope that Mika is alright and hasn't been exposed to major radiation. Fukushima is thirty minutes by train away from her, after all. I wish that I could somehow contact her and tell her to flee to Sapporo to either her old host family or mine, who would gladly take her in, but I can't contact her and I can't be there for her. I can't explain how it feels. I can't explain my own hopelessness and feelings so I'm not even going to try. I feel upset that I am here and everything is going on there. My family tells me that they're happy, that I'm lucky I'm here....but it just makes me feel horrible.
The Department of State has issued a warning that people shouldn't travel to Tokyo unless they really have to due to the threat of radiation. I have decided to postpone my trip back to Japan, to quit the job that I had lined up, and pray that somehow things work out for me. I have to go back to Japan, but as of yesterday the transit systems in Tokyo proper weren't even running normally. There's going to be so much work to do to get everything back in order.
Words fail me. I can't explain the stress in the situation that I have facing me. Of course my other friends are alright, the people I know are unharmed, but I can't explain how I am going to have to make a major-life decision that I never thought that I'd have to make. It's hard because every time I think about it, I almost start to cry, I can't hold back all the emotions, but I have to make a decision to see whether I am going to stay or I am going to go regardless of the potential risk with radiation. So instead of pondering and thinking about it, I avoid thinking about it and move on to something else, ignoring it all.
I just wish that I could see Mika and hold her and tell her that things are going to be okay. I wish I had spent the extra money to go and see her before I left.
All I have left for me are regrets that have no meaning.