new number 1 pet peeve: intolerance
And so begins another episode of reflection. I've got everything in relaxation mode...dark room, candles lit, soft music playing, no homework or obligations tomorrow....and yet I cannot be calm. I can't help but to think back on the past week and be genuinely sad. Sad not for myself, but sad for those living with me in their ignorant and intolerant bliss.
This past week we hosted our first couchsurfer from couchsurfing.com. He was a 22 year old biker from Portland, Oregon. He had the full effect...large scar across his forehead, huge bike, tatoos everywhere. Upon his entering our apartment, I could not help but to feel that he would be immediately unwelcomed by two of my roommates, and I was sad to have to confirm such suspicions. I had my own skeptical thoughts, but I wasn't about to broadcast them to the world in such a rude and inconsiderate way. You give everyone the benefit of the doubt, right? Trust until given reason to distrust. I realize that this is not a philosophy everyone obides by. Or at least now I do. The mere appearance of this man left 2 of my roommates running for the door, without showing a lick of respect or interest in this new stranger. He stayed for roughly 3-4 days and those two were like ghosts in this apartment.
Here's what gets me. What the hell were they expecting? Were they expecting some frat boy to walk through our door sporting a pink polo shirt and loafers? Surely their lives would have been much easier had that been the case. If the guy staying with us hadn't been so different from them, they would have naturally interacted with him with much more interest and manners, right? That. Is. Ridiculous. What is so damn difficult about appreciating the differences in those around us? Must we surround ourselves with people we have every detail in common with? Does growth come from remaining comfortable and generous to those we identify with? Or does it come from branching out to others despite marked differences and uncharted territory? I can't help but to think about the fact that it is so much more difficult and effort-filled to remain cold and mean to others than it is to just treat them respectfully. Is it so much to ask to even throw a "how was your day?" or "do you need help with anything?" into the mix? It can't be...I refuse to believe that's asking too much.
I guess my point is that it is so easy to understand how our world is so war-filled and hate-filled. It all starts with something as small as inconsideration for an unknown stranger. And then it grows. Every act performed by solely yourself results in an attitude being projected onto someone else. That someone else can either shake it off or transmit that onto yet another person, and pretty soon it's everywhere. You can only control yourself, and if everyone thought about their actions for half a second longer, perhaps so many things and places could be improved. I'm so sick of people complaining about the war over in Iraq and about figthing everywhere else in the world. These are the same people creating wars and drama in their very own lives--talking shit about someone else, openly treating someone else like they're not worth anything, chastising someone for being different..or even worse, for being themselves.
Do me a favor---don't worry about the war over in Iraq or about your friend's hang up on someone they don't like. Worry about you, and if there's something you don't like, let it go and focus on something you do like---and in the meantime, everyone's different and beautiful in their own right, so treat them like a fucking human being. I'm nowhere near perfect, but at least I've got this much down.
Myspace Comments:
Shaun: Very well said sister. I couldn't agree more. It's amazing how shallow people can be sometimes. I guess it's to be expected in this selfish selfish world, but that certainly doesn't make it right. That's really sad. Not because it was a single incident but because it's a way of living--because this kind of intolerance is bred and this hatred spreads like the plague. Very sad indeed. Thanks for sharing.