Scrambled Thoughts.
I was thinking today, as I did my customary walk-round the YMCA outside track with my mother getting passed by the occasional extremely sweaty man at a steady trot, that it is very easy to blame yourself for things. It is easy (for me at least, when I'm in the mood) to say "I am a sorry excuse for a person, there are so many things I could do better, and it's just as well I am an atheist because if there was a God I would be scared for his or her retribution."
Because, let's face it, nobody is perfect. But dwelling on this doesn't really help me, it just makes me all introverted and mopey, so instead I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize. I am sorry, I am genuinely sorry for all the things that I do wrong, and sometimes I try to learn how to do it better but sometimes it just doesn't work. And sometimes I don't try hard enough. But I am sorry.
In other news, I was actually going to do things this evening but then I watched a movie with my Dad (Keeping Mum, it tasted a bit like Pushing Daisies but more disturbing and less G-rated, if Pushing Daisies is as G rated as I think it is) and now I am really tired.
It really, really scares me whenever my Dad forgets something fairly simple and then gives me his bewildered baby bird look, because I know he's scared and he knows that I'm scared. It's like memory loss is this thing that's eating him up slowly, and it could just be old age and absent mindedness (goodness knows I inherited enough of that to show it's not a mark of old age) but we're too scared to check, and we'd much rather tiptoe around and pretend it isn' t there when it clearly is. Sigh. I need to take him out to do interesting (but not too exhausting) stuff on the weekends while I'm still home. Any suggestions?
Because, let's face it, nobody is perfect. But dwelling on this doesn't really help me, it just makes me all introverted and mopey, so instead I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize. I am sorry, I am genuinely sorry for all the things that I do wrong, and sometimes I try to learn how to do it better but sometimes it just doesn't work. And sometimes I don't try hard enough. But I am sorry.
In other news, I was actually going to do things this evening but then I watched a movie with my Dad (Keeping Mum, it tasted a bit like Pushing Daisies but more disturbing and less G-rated, if Pushing Daisies is as G rated as I think it is) and now I am really tired.
It really, really scares me whenever my Dad forgets something fairly simple and then gives me his bewildered baby bird look, because I know he's scared and he knows that I'm scared. It's like memory loss is this thing that's eating him up slowly, and it could just be old age and absent mindedness (goodness knows I inherited enough of that to show it's not a mark of old age) but we're too scared to check, and we'd much rather tiptoe around and pretend it isn' t there when it clearly is. Sigh. I need to take him out to do interesting (but not too exhausting) stuff on the weekends while I'm still home. Any suggestions?