Thoughts
I've officially decided what to do with my immediate future. I applied to City College and will be going there in the fall. I still need to register for classes but I'm waiting to see what my work schedule is going to be first so I can try to work around that. I need to stay at thirty five to forty hours a week there to maintain. Money is going to be tight for a while but it is doable granted when hasn't money been tight and if I wasn't going back to school it would be even worse.
Technically I could have found a job in my field, had I tried harder. Technically I could be making more money. However landing a job would require ambition that I've lost in the last year. I still love the field I have my degree in and I eventually want to work in it but right now I have no motivation and a severe lack of confidence in my work. So I'm going to take at least a year and go to City, I'll still be working on classes within my field but expanding into more digital work and web stuff. I'm just not ready. I'm not quite ready to leave my job yet either, albeit it's retail and by no means my dream job they are paying me an amazing amount to be there and I hate the idea of only being at a job for a year baring having a manager that forces your hand. But I love my managers they are becoming like family. If I leave before I'm ready to completely let go it doesn't end well I've tried it many times before. I'm also not quite ready to leave my city. I know that I'm not going to stay here forever I have many more places to live before I settle, but right now this is where I need to be that may change six months from now or two years from now. For now though this is the city that has watched me grow up over the last five years. It is also the only place so far that I have fit into, other then the sasa soccer team. However now that I have my Bachelors I'm free, I'm not held to any place for any reason anymore, I'm still going to be in school but at the end of each semester I can choose to drop everything and move to New York, or Boston, or Chicago and I won't be screwing up anything. For now I'm confident in my decisions. I just hope they turn out to be the right ones in the end. At this point I'm working on gut feelings and practicality. Wish me luck!
Technically I could have found a job in my field, had I tried harder. Technically I could be making more money. However landing a job would require ambition that I've lost in the last year. I still love the field I have my degree in and I eventually want to work in it but right now I have no motivation and a severe lack of confidence in my work. So I'm going to take at least a year and go to City, I'll still be working on classes within my field but expanding into more digital work and web stuff. I'm just not ready. I'm not quite ready to leave my job yet either, albeit it's retail and by no means my dream job they are paying me an amazing amount to be there and I hate the idea of only being at a job for a year baring having a manager that forces your hand. But I love my managers they are becoming like family. If I leave before I'm ready to completely let go it doesn't end well I've tried it many times before. I'm also not quite ready to leave my city. I know that I'm not going to stay here forever I have many more places to live before I settle, but right now this is where I need to be that may change six months from now or two years from now. For now though this is the city that has watched me grow up over the last five years. It is also the only place so far that I have fit into, other then the sasa soccer team. However now that I have my Bachelors I'm free, I'm not held to any place for any reason anymore, I'm still going to be in school but at the end of each semester I can choose to drop everything and move to New York, or Boston, or Chicago and I won't be screwing up anything. For now I'm confident in my decisions. I just hope they turn out to be the right ones in the end. At this point I'm working on gut feelings and practicality. Wish me luck!