Why cant I just be left alone

[pbdstears]

What the fuck is up with people destroying relationships?? I get rid of one problem and right along comes another one. Now I have lady sending my baby stuff and getting her to believe it. What the fuck, how does this lady know what I do, who I hang out with, or what I have done. She doesnt but still Kendra is believing her. If not Kendra must have something on her mind cause she doesnt even seemed bother by this. Well I am, I havent done anything wrong latly, last thing I did wrong was when I made a mistake and fucked Jami!! Oh my god everyone makes a fucking mistake and no one here is perfect, and I am the farthest from it. Kendra doesnt even seem like she is bothered by it, I told her I wrote this lady back and she didnt even seem to care. Guess she has better things to look for. Yeah I admit I have fucked up A LOT in this relationship with all the things I accused Kendra, the times I mistreated her, and the times I got mad for no reason. But fuck, every relationship has their problems. Yeah I might put Kendra through more than her fair share but like I told her only cause I know she is too good for me and she has and can get better.. What the fuck, I have a bad feeling bout this, this isnt going to be good. This lady here is going to actually get Kendra mind going and believing that I have someone else, or im doing something wrong, or going behind her back. What the hell cant I just be left alone. I mean alone, by myself, no one? Not a girlfriend, a friend, a voice, a life, nothing, just leave me the fuck alone, if this is what this lady wants then be it.. If she doesnt like the way me and Kendra's relationship has worked out then she can have Kendra and show her the kind of guys she is suppose to be with and can have or whatever. She has already got her attention and ofcourse Kendra believes her. But I guess I did the same things when people told me one thing and I didnt believe Kendra, pay back is a bitch! Well guess what, I just want to be left the fuck alone, no nothing, I dont want my life to be like this, just let me be and dont say nothing cause I will be alone like I wanted.

Smile Empty Soul, "With this Knife"

I let myself fall into a lie
I let my walls come down
I let myself smile and feel alive
I let my walls come down
No matter how I try I dont know why
You push so far away
You wrapped you hand around my heart and squeezed it full of pain

With this knife ill cut out the part of me
The part of me that cares for you
With this knife ill cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you

I cant believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Cming in a million broken smiles
Like poison for my veins

The hate and the fear
The nightmares that wake me up in tears
The nightmares and the hate the fear!