Can we keep it like this?
Hello everyone, how things can change for the good with just one convo.. Well I have nothing bad to put in this journal so far and hopefully I wont have to anymore.. But yeah, last night I got to stay with my baby at her house and got to spend the whole day with her today.. I loved being able to hold her and wake up next to her this morning, I can get use to seeing her face every morning when I wake up.. But anyways, after work my baby came and picked me up and we went to my house so I could grab my tooth brush and then we headed to her house. When we got to her house we, well I, read these emails coming from some lady who has been spying on me trying to tell Kendra I am using her, playing her, and pretty much cheating on her with another girl! But see im not, I constantly tell this lady to show me proof or prove that I am but she cant. She says I need to watch out what I say or I might regret it cause Kendra might find out bout it. Well I dont regret anything I say to this lady cause im not afraid of what she can do to me. She has nothing and will never have anything on me! But that is that and I will end that subject, back to the great night/day I had with my baby. Like I was saying we then sat on the couch and watched some tv while I held my baby and then we decided to go to bed. While in bed I got to hold her all night and fell asleep looking into her eyes hoping she was have good dreams bout me and not anything bad was going through her mind. While sleeping I had a dream bout me and Kendra. In my dream we actually made things work out and never had another problem with her friends, her brother, or my stupid little mind. We actually both made it through college and stayed together and finally moved in to a house with each other. No we didnt have any kids but we were actually happpy. I saw the kind of happy I want, the happy were I got everything and didnt have to give up anything for it. But back to the dream, we lived together and we were both still in love with each other. But then I did wake up and I got to see my babies back, I wanted it to be where her face was pointed towards me but she doesnt like sleeping like that!! But when we finally actually woke up we both took a shower together. I love taking a shower with her, cause I get to wash her. I was her hair and her whole body. I get to scrub down all my little places on her and I wish she would was me but she doesnt. After the shower we watched my team lose to Ohio State and now they arent undefeated. I kept telling her they were gonna lose but she wasnt listening. I told her exactly how the game was gonna end and still she didnt believe me till it happened. What do you think bout that baby, I know my sports? But yes, my baby cooked our lunch and we both sorda ate it. The only problem I really had today was when we were kissing and she didnt close her eyes. She use to always close her eyes but now she doesnt, it is as she doesnt feel it anymore. That is one thought that has been going through my head latly. When we kiss she doesnt seem to kiss me like before, when we are talking she doesnt seem to talk to me like before, when we are laying down and im holding her its like she doesnt want me to. When she does these things it makes me think she is wanting someone else to do them or to do them again. I dont know but its just as if she is half assing everything with me, sorda like someone else is getting the good kisses, the actual holding time, and everything else. But back to me and my babies day, well we ordered a movie and sorda watched it but we got distracted by doing other things. I still think that she doesnt like them and when I think that it goes straight to the thought that someone else is doing these things to her so yeah. But yeah her mommy came home and we were laying in her bed and decided to take a nap till bout 7ish. After we woke up we went to the living room and I got to hold her, I like holding her cause she fits in my arms so perfectly and she is so warm. When I hold her I start to fall asleep cause im ready to be taken away. I know that sounds weird but the saying if I die before I wake I set A LOT of things to. Cause when I hold her I know she will be happy and that makes me happy. As long as im happy when I die ill be set. But sadly our good day had to come to and end cause I had to go home.. But before I went I had my baby cut me a piece of cake she made for us. It was suppose to be for Valentines Day but she couldnt come see me and she wasnt home that day cause she was out with whoever. But I grabbed a piece of cake and it was alright, but maybe im not a big fan of red velvet cake either. As I got dropped off I didnt want to leave but I knew I must cause my baby has to go to school tomorrow and has to spend some time without me cause she has to get use to me not being around. I am actually going to get out of her life and let her live it like she wants because being with me she doesnt get to do what she wants. She doesnt get to see her friends, her brother, talk to guys, or hang out with other guys and have fun cause I usually get mad. With my gone she will and can do this things now, so in the end it will work out. No more potter means more fun for her. But I must end this journal and maybe try to catch my baby in her dreams. So till next time everyone have fun and be safe and I love you baby forever and always. Nite nite everyone and buhbye.