Comments | paulamcg: FIC: Remus Lupin and the Revolt of the Creatures, Chapter 3 / 21, part one (PG-13)

paulamcg

FIC: Remus Lupin and the Revolt of the Creatures, Chapter 3 / 21, part one (PG-13)

Aug 23, 2009 17:58

Title: Remus Lupin and the Revolt of the Creatures, Chapter Three: Doubts about His Motives, Part One
Author: PaulaMcG
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: (subtly, eventually) Remus/Sirius
Era and universe: Summer and autumn 1996, an alternative world after OotP
Chapter summary: Remus doesn’t stand aside and he gets a chance to practise some Magic of Healing ( Read more... )

fic, harry, novel, post-azkaban, remus

Comments 11

kellychambliss September 18 2009, 04:29:12 UTC

I like the way you deepen the various relationships in this chapter, especially the interaction between Remus and his landlady. I think you've imagined the "goblin-ness" of her very well, and I find her responses (both the good and bad ones) believable. Little details, too, work well (like her peacock-feather hat). Other aspects of the chapter I like: the way Hewig functions as a character; the birthday party and how each character gets his/her scene; your depiction of Moody. There are interesting magic details, too -- such as the idea that the cruciatus won't work long on a person it wasn't intended for. This makes a lot of sense, since intention has so much to do with whether one can even cast the curse.

Just a few minor grammar things: in the first line, it would be enought to say "a sound in (or inside) his dream"; you don't need the "of." In this line -- his eyes on the owners face, you want "owner's" with an apostrophe. And in the phrase "millstone cake," I think you mean "milestone." Finally, in he saw the grown ( ... )

paulamcg September 18 2009, 22:55:30 UTC

Thank you so much, Kelly! I’m particularly happy you like the way I’ve developed an OC (my very first OC really) and her relationship with Remus. I’ve never been worried that this lady would be too close to a Mary Sue. Still, it is reassuring to hear that she with her details and her “otherness” truly works for you. Giving an important role to Hedwig was one of my favourite elements in these early chapters ( ... )

kellychambliss September 22 2009, 18:13:30 UTC

But I really meant that the cake had the shape and size of such large stones which are used in water mills.

Argh! This is my error. I went back and looked at the story, and somehow I had totally missed the sentence about Fred and his levitation. Of course "millstone" makes perfect sense in this context -- and is pretty funny, too. So just forget I said anything! /g/

paulamcg September 23 2009, 20:48:53 UTC

Thank you! I can’t promise to totally forget about anything in our discussions, though.

rissabby February 4 2010, 09:01:23 UTC

Hi,
I just started reading this today. Is part two of chapter 3 posted yet? When I click on the link it goes to an Error page that says I can't read the entry.

I really like the idea of Remus as a painting artist. I was hoping that the next part would have more of the painting.

I was wondering if when Remus says "a real portrait" if that means a magical portrait where Hedwig will be able to move.

I'm glad that Mrs. Porchead is starting to appreciate Remus. He's always been my favorite Potterverse character.

paulamcg February 4 2010, 14:03:37 UTC

Hi! I’m thrilled you’ve started reading my Remus novel. I remember the two of us discussed at least a couple of short stories of mine in 2005. I wonder why we didn’t friend each other back then. If I may friend you now, you’ll immediately get to read all the chapters I’ve posted on my lj so far.

Yes, part two of chapter three has been posted, and I made it public just a moment ago - as soon as I saw your comment. I’ve posted until chapter nine, but I chose to keep the entries f-locked as long as I needed to call the story a WiP. Now I need to change the headings before making the entries public. I’d also like to start posting (links to) the story chapter by chapter in some communities. But I’m still considering whether I should change the title. In fact, your opinion could help me decide... Perhaps it’s hard for you to say which title would cover what’s essential in the story, when you’ve read so little of it, but do you think something like Of Pain, Sharing and Change would sound better than my working title - which can make some ( ... )

rissabby February 4 2010, 20:35:51 UTC

Please friend me and I will friend you too.

In a way I'm glad that I couldn't keep reading. I tend to get hypnotized by stories. It was already 2am when I had to stop reading, I would have been up all night if there were more links.

I only friended a very few R/S authors. The ones I thought I never wanted to lose track of. I sort of followed Sheafrotherdon over to Stargate Atlantis and did most of my reading there for the past two or three years ( ... )

paulamcg February 5 2010, 17:48:05 UTC

I friended you as soon as I got this comment of yours, and thank you for friending ( ... )

(The comment has been removed)

paulamcg February 18 2010, 17:36:36 UTC

Thank you so much for this elating comment, too. I’ve postponed my reply so as to enjoy focusing on it ( ... )

thenewbuzwuzz July 26 2022, 21:58:13 UTC

Holy shit, that escalated! :) I am loving the hidden depths of Mrs. Porchead. Go Dumbledore go, sue that chief Auror!

paulamcg July 27 2022, 08:44:46 UTC

Ah, I love your reaction! :) You've made that scene alive again (after all these year when it's been slumbering on LJ :D) by reading it. <3 And it's fabulous that this has been done by someone who's just met Mrs Porchead for the very first time together with my young Remus. :) Thank you for your encouragement to Dumbledore, too!