Chapter 13: Calm AFTER The Storm
Its weird. I didn't know why I was doing anything I was doing. I would spend hours in my room alone playing video games and watching "The OC". I even started reading again (The Princess Bride, fantastic book). It all just felt right, even though I was shutting myself out of everyone's lives (or rather locking everyone out of my life).
Then it started to come to me...
I had previously had a fight with my parents, one that was easily avoided and could have gotten me kicked out of the house. But I shared my feelings, and opened up about my lack of openness. I told them how I felt and what I was going through. They resisted at first, but eventually things turned around and now things have progressed. I still get the odd probing question, and the often hurtful comment, but it's not as bad.
The one question I wish they would just leave alone is "So who is your girlfriend?". I always reply that I don't want to talk about it and the same response comes from them. "Well we'd at least like to see a picture". Why? So you could judge her based on looks and looks alone? So you could ask more questions about something I'm clearly uncomfortable to begin with? The truth is I don't have a girlfriend and I'm still uneasy about opening that part of my life up to my parents.
In the long run, sitting around in solitude, I followed what felt right. I sat around and just vegged. And somehow it came to me slowly and now I feel inspired to begin right away.
I'm going to go back to school, get the grades, and do what I need to do to make this world a better place. I'm going to change over to health and go for the gold. Some day, not any time soon, I will be out there saving lives and even if no one appreciates it or cares, I will know that I was doing the ultimate good.
Some day I will help the world.
"We will go nowhere we know
We don't have to talk at all
Hand-me-downs, flypaper towns
Stuck together one and all "
Then it started to come to me...
I had previously had a fight with my parents, one that was easily avoided and could have gotten me kicked out of the house. But I shared my feelings, and opened up about my lack of openness. I told them how I felt and what I was going through. They resisted at first, but eventually things turned around and now things have progressed. I still get the odd probing question, and the often hurtful comment, but it's not as bad.
The one question I wish they would just leave alone is "So who is your girlfriend?". I always reply that I don't want to talk about it and the same response comes from them. "Well we'd at least like to see a picture". Why? So you could judge her based on looks and looks alone? So you could ask more questions about something I'm clearly uncomfortable to begin with? The truth is I don't have a girlfriend and I'm still uneasy about opening that part of my life up to my parents.
In the long run, sitting around in solitude, I followed what felt right. I sat around and just vegged. And somehow it came to me slowly and now I feel inspired to begin right away.
I'm going to go back to school, get the grades, and do what I need to do to make this world a better place. I'm going to change over to health and go for the gold. Some day, not any time soon, I will be out there saving lives and even if no one appreciates it or cares, I will know that I was doing the ultimate good.
Some day I will help the world.
"We will go nowhere we know
We don't have to talk at all
Hand-me-downs, flypaper towns
Stuck together one and all "