Speaking of which
So...about a year and a half later I have been reminded of this thing. According to LJ, it's been 82 weeks.
This shall be brief, but hopefully in the near future I will make it unlonely. I would just like to note that I seem to get more and more confused all the time about what I'm supposed to be doing. I tend to live by the mantra that we need to stick to whatever God clearly showed us last. So the last plan that we know God had for us, we go after that with all of us; we should be passionate and steadfast in it until he clearly changes the path for us. Well I've recently found myself in a place where the last thing he showed me, I had lost passion for. I really haven't enjoyed coaching at all the past year or so, but it was the last thing he showed me, so I stuck with it. There were times when I thought he was changing my route, but they didn't pan out. So I'm always left with this...the last clear thing being coaching baseball. It was a place where I could pour into the kids on the team and stay around the game that I've loved so much since I was 4 years old, to stay around the game that I knew so well. I have been in constant turbulence for the past few months about not knowing, though. With going in and out of this stress I feel to try and help both my parents who are getting hit hard financially, things have tended to get obscure. There is no real financial security or any type of well being in coaching. Hoov once told me, "You've now taken a vow of poverty." I didn't mind so much then, but now it pains me to not be able to help more. Then all I cared about was the fact that baseball was what I knew and I was good at it and I was able to build into the players both spiritually and baseball wise. Now, I face the fact that I want to help my family and I want to be a little more secure to be able to take care of my future family, whoever it may be. So, that combined with the seeming loss of passion for coaching, I thought was leading me to somewhere new. But these past few weeks I've found my passion for coaching again. I love it again. So now I'm confused again. That's also not all I'm confused about, but that will be for a later entry at a later time.
This shall be brief, but hopefully in the near future I will make it unlonely. I would just like to note that I seem to get more and more confused all the time about what I'm supposed to be doing. I tend to live by the mantra that we need to stick to whatever God clearly showed us last. So the last plan that we know God had for us, we go after that with all of us; we should be passionate and steadfast in it until he clearly changes the path for us. Well I've recently found myself in a place where the last thing he showed me, I had lost passion for. I really haven't enjoyed coaching at all the past year or so, but it was the last thing he showed me, so I stuck with it. There were times when I thought he was changing my route, but they didn't pan out. So I'm always left with this...the last clear thing being coaching baseball. It was a place where I could pour into the kids on the team and stay around the game that I've loved so much since I was 4 years old, to stay around the game that I knew so well. I have been in constant turbulence for the past few months about not knowing, though. With going in and out of this stress I feel to try and help both my parents who are getting hit hard financially, things have tended to get obscure. There is no real financial security or any type of well being in coaching. Hoov once told me, "You've now taken a vow of poverty." I didn't mind so much then, but now it pains me to not be able to help more. Then all I cared about was the fact that baseball was what I knew and I was good at it and I was able to build into the players both spiritually and baseball wise. Now, I face the fact that I want to help my family and I want to be a little more secure to be able to take care of my future family, whoever it may be. So, that combined with the seeming loss of passion for coaching, I thought was leading me to somewhere new. But these past few weeks I've found my passion for coaching again. I love it again. So now I'm confused again. That's also not all I'm confused about, but that will be for a later entry at a later time.