I want to cry***
The man I like, the married one, kindly asked me to be sensible...after I sent him a message proposing him some delicious chocolates called "croq'amours" (eat love). I told him "sorry I can't help it..." He replied: "One has to be sensible :)"
It seems like the world is leading a huge conspiracy against me because anything good that happens to me and makes me happy usually vanishes in the most painful and frustrating way..
I feel so empty, so energyless, and unloved.
I know the thing with the married man would have led me nowhere, nothing ever happened anyway, but I was dreaming of him all the time.
All these looks in his eyes, his smiles... was all this senseless? Just a game because I was flattering his ego? Sure a married man must love it when a young girl is all infatuated and looks at him with sparkly love eyes.
I hate myself so much for not being stronger.
He wants me to be sensible, I will.
Last night, I watched Gladiator. And I love Maximus character. A real man who fights for his honour, and remains faithful to the memory of the lost loved ones. A man who won't let his soul corrupt for superficial things. A man who keeps his word. A man with his heart full of love, moral, decency, honesty, strengh and honor. He is the kind of man I want. Maybe the married one is the same kind of man.
It makes me want to cry.
I will go to the ladies'room and cry all the rivers of tears and pain that my body can...
It seems like the world is leading a huge conspiracy against me because anything good that happens to me and makes me happy usually vanishes in the most painful and frustrating way..
I feel so empty, so energyless, and unloved.
I know the thing with the married man would have led me nowhere, nothing ever happened anyway, but I was dreaming of him all the time.
All these looks in his eyes, his smiles... was all this senseless? Just a game because I was flattering his ego? Sure a married man must love it when a young girl is all infatuated and looks at him with sparkly love eyes.
I hate myself so much for not being stronger.
He wants me to be sensible, I will.
Last night, I watched Gladiator. And I love Maximus character. A real man who fights for his honour, and remains faithful to the memory of the lost loved ones. A man who won't let his soul corrupt for superficial things. A man who keeps his word. A man with his heart full of love, moral, decency, honesty, strengh and honor. He is the kind of man I want. Maybe the married one is the same kind of man.
It makes me want to cry.
I will go to the ladies'room and cry all the rivers of tears and pain that my body can...