And I Must Spork: Maradonia, Part V, Section B
Hope you enjoyed the break; I'm back with today's second dose of FAIL.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - THE EAGLE HAS LANDED
Yes, that is seriously the title. I cannot make this up.
As the siblings prepare to blow this Popsicle stand, the eagle lives up to the chapter title and lands. It's covered in eyes, which is... creepy. But I'll run with it.
What do you do when your chosen heroes are leaving you to handle it yourselves? Make it a 'but thou must' option, of course.
"You must come with me! There is no way out for you until your mission is fulfilled. Only when your mission is fulfilled, the tunnel of time will open up for you again and you can go back home to your own world!"
Sagitta, you flying dick.
Joey goes into a passionate, page long speech about how this mission is their calling and that they couldn't leave even if the time tunnel was open for them. Dammit, Joey, were you not just crying and wanting to go home not two pages ago?! Gah!
And thus, our heroes hop on board Air Sagitta to start the journey proper.
Hoppy, sitting on Joey's shoulder looked at the eagle and said,
"An 'Air Taxi'! Huh...? It looks to me more like an 'Air Shuttle' because there is room for a whole assembly."
... Geh. \~/\~/\~/ How can such a smart grasshopper say something so dumb?!
And also end the chapter on an odd line. Again.
Chapter drinks: 3
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - ON THE WINGS OF THE EAGLE
Aaaaand the theme continues. At least in the title. The whole chapter chronicles Maya and Joey's ride on Sagitta. Sagitta tells them how far it is to Poseidon Rock, Hoppy is excited about this whole thing, and Joey comments about conquering all the mountains he's seeing. Of course, Sagitta calls him out on this.
"Mountains cannot be conquered! You conquer yourself! You conquer your hopes! You conquer your fears and you can conquer your own future but you will never conquer a mountain!"
Wait a tic. Conquer means to subdue, right? So... you can't really conquer any of those things. And why would you want to conquer your hopes, anyway? Aigh. \~/\~/
Suddenly, action! Maya falls off Sagitta! However, this big damn eagle is really really fast, and manages to save her. Of course, all this takes less than half a page.
And finally, at the end of the chapter, we get this:
When the kingdom of light finds a soul who has faith they give him first a promise to help him in all situations of life.
When the problems appear in the life of a faithful person like a flood and he holds on in faith, the kingdom of light will send provision."
AHAHAHAHAHA ohmygod. \~/\~/\~/ Just. What?! Gloria, you are doing the Bible so wrong it HURTS. I love it though. HURTS SO GOOD.
Chapter drinks: 5
CHAPTER SIXTEEN - AT THE POSEIDON ROCK
After dropping our heroes off, Sagitta reminds them to find the 12 flint stones they need, plus the entrance to the fjord. I'm so confused right now, folks; just try and keep up.
As Maya and Joey travel, they pass Abbadon's prison. Fucker is screaming and moaning like a banshee, forcing Maya and Joey to cover their ears as they walk, crossing a river via stones. As Joey hops from stone to stone, he loses a shoe.
I can smell the laser-guided karma~. \~/
Not listening to his sister's pleas to be careful, Joey slips, falling in the water. Time to call in the eagle, who yanks Joey out and pulls him onto the other side. He lies there, unmoving. What will Maya do?
Maya was holding Joey in her arms and watched his face, hoping that he would start breathing.
HAHAHAHAHAHA YES. \~/\~/\~/ Karma for you Joey, you motherfucking dick.
Of course, Joey survives, and for the next page and a half, it's basically Maya crying about how much she loves her brother and how happy she is he's alive... And the dove saves his shoe, while Hoppy is thrilled about the water ride he just took in it.
Sagitta congratulates them on making it across the river; guess it's a pass, even if the dickwad almost drowned. She also makes a comment on strength. Maya replies with this gem:
"We try to use our strength, Sagitta but we are sometimes afraid that we might be criticized on our journey."
Ahahaha. \~/ Seriously? You have bigger things to worry about than being criticized. How about being dead?
Sagitta answered, "If you are afraid and you want to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing! You are now in the middle of the preparation process to reach the goal of being 'The Encouragers'.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
More lulz, more drinks. \~/\~/ Wait... I thought that was the test? Also, which fortune cookies did you rip those off from, Gloria? Ugh. I am so glad this chapter is over because it makes no sense. As usual.
Drink count: 6
Drinks this installment: 28
Total drinks this spork: 103
Holy shit. Less than 20 chapters and we're in the 100s already.
Well, there you have it. A whole new bunch of fail. I am considering taking this weekend off, but you know that probably won't happen. I'm having too much fun with this. And you guys make it AWESOME. ♥
See you next time!
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - THE EAGLE HAS LANDED
Yes, that is seriously the title. I cannot make this up.
As the siblings prepare to blow this Popsicle stand, the eagle lives up to the chapter title and lands. It's covered in eyes, which is... creepy. But I'll run with it.
What do you do when your chosen heroes are leaving you to handle it yourselves? Make it a 'but thou must' option, of course.
"You must come with me! There is no way out for you until your mission is fulfilled. Only when your mission is fulfilled, the tunnel of time will open up for you again and you can go back home to your own world!"
Sagitta, you flying dick.
Joey goes into a passionate, page long speech about how this mission is their calling and that they couldn't leave even if the time tunnel was open for them. Dammit, Joey, were you not just crying and wanting to go home not two pages ago?! Gah!
And thus, our heroes hop on board Air Sagitta to start the journey proper.
Hoppy, sitting on Joey's shoulder looked at the eagle and said,
"An 'Air Taxi'! Huh...? It looks to me more like an 'Air Shuttle' because there is room for a whole assembly."
... Geh. \~/\~/\~/ How can such a smart grasshopper say something so dumb?!
And also end the chapter on an odd line. Again.
Chapter drinks: 3
CHAPTER FIFTEEN - ON THE WINGS OF THE EAGLE
Aaaaand the theme continues. At least in the title. The whole chapter chronicles Maya and Joey's ride on Sagitta. Sagitta tells them how far it is to Poseidon Rock, Hoppy is excited about this whole thing, and Joey comments about conquering all the mountains he's seeing. Of course, Sagitta calls him out on this.
"Mountains cannot be conquered! You conquer yourself! You conquer your hopes! You conquer your fears and you can conquer your own future but you will never conquer a mountain!"
Wait a tic. Conquer means to subdue, right? So... you can't really conquer any of those things. And why would you want to conquer your hopes, anyway? Aigh. \~/\~/
Suddenly, action! Maya falls off Sagitta! However, this big damn eagle is really really fast, and manages to save her. Of course, all this takes less than half a page.
And finally, at the end of the chapter, we get this:
When the kingdom of light finds a soul who has faith they give him first a promise to help him in all situations of life.
When the problems appear in the life of a faithful person like a flood and he holds on in faith, the kingdom of light will send provision."
AHAHAHAHAHA ohmygod. \~/\~/\~/ Just. What?! Gloria, you are doing the Bible so wrong it HURTS. I love it though. HURTS SO GOOD.
Chapter drinks: 5
CHAPTER SIXTEEN - AT THE POSEIDON ROCK
After dropping our heroes off, Sagitta reminds them to find the 12 flint stones they need, plus the entrance to the fjord. I'm so confused right now, folks; just try and keep up.
As Maya and Joey travel, they pass Abbadon's prison. Fucker is screaming and moaning like a banshee, forcing Maya and Joey to cover their ears as they walk, crossing a river via stones. As Joey hops from stone to stone, he loses a shoe.
I can smell the laser-guided karma~. \~/
Not listening to his sister's pleas to be careful, Joey slips, falling in the water. Time to call in the eagle, who yanks Joey out and pulls him onto the other side. He lies there, unmoving. What will Maya do?
Maya was holding Joey in her arms and watched his face, hoping that he would start breathing.
HAHAHAHAHAHA YES. \~/\~/\~/ Karma for you Joey, you motherfucking dick.
Of course, Joey survives, and for the next page and a half, it's basically Maya crying about how much she loves her brother and how happy she is he's alive... And the dove saves his shoe, while Hoppy is thrilled about the water ride he just took in it.
Sagitta congratulates them on making it across the river; guess it's a pass, even if the dickwad almost drowned. She also makes a comment on strength. Maya replies with this gem:
"We try to use our strength, Sagitta but we are sometimes afraid that we might be criticized on our journey."
Ahahaha. \~/ Seriously? You have bigger things to worry about than being criticized. How about being dead?
Sagitta answered, "If you are afraid and you want to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing! You are now in the middle of the preparation process to reach the goal of being 'The Encouragers'.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
More lulz, more drinks. \~/\~/ Wait... I thought that was the test? Also, which fortune cookies did you rip those off from, Gloria? Ugh. I am so glad this chapter is over because it makes no sense. As usual.
Drink count: 6
Drinks this installment: 28
Total drinks this spork: 103
Holy shit. Less than 20 chapters and we're in the 100s already.
Well, there you have it. A whole new bunch of fail. I am considering taking this weekend off, but you know that probably won't happen. I'm having too much fun with this. And you guys make it AWESOME. ♥
See you next time!