Toddler management ideas
So... it's finally come time. My just turned 18mth old son has decided that shoving other kids (and babies) over is fun. Or easier than walking around them. I'm sure it's just a little 'phase' but it's pretty horrible.
Ideas people?
We don't do time out (yet) because he just doesn't understand it (he thinks we're being mean and immediately gets uncontrollably sad), and I normally just do distraction/redirection with him. In the last week though we've suddenly got tantrums (that he stomps off and gets over himself usually) that last about a minute, we've had shoving and hitting and face pinching. "we are not amused"
I've started counting 1,2,3 and then removing him to sit on an adult chair (which he then takes a while to work out how to get down). This seems an effective 'time out/down time' for now, but given he's the size of a three year old it's not going to take him long to master that skill. I let him wail and gnash his teeth if he's going to - he's got to learn how to deal with disappointment and frustration, and chucking a wobbly isn't going to change my mind.
For some months any time he hit/took glasses etc we would just get up and walk away - this worked (and still does) - but that was aggression directed at us, not at other little people.
I'll say up front - we don't want to do heavy handed discipline with him at this point - he's normally a really relaxed and chilled little boy, with a lot of heart (and he's very sensitive if he thinks you're actually hurt etc) - so forced time outs (where I would have to stand over him and force him to sit facing a corner or whatever), any kind of spanking, restraining, things that might be perceived as 'aggressive' etc are out.
I'm also incredibly mindful that he's HUGE compared to his peers and he will almost be bigger than every other person he encounters (his dad is 2m tall, and he's following in his foot steps) so we need to teach him to be gentle, that pushing/shoving isn't ok. I don't want to do anything 'aggressive' or 'forceful' in managing his behaviour because I fear this will show him that these tactics are ok to use - when they really aren't for him. I am prepared to be firm, set a solid line, and not budge though.