And oh, you're suddenly a stranger...
I'm in a state of shock, I have no other words to describe how I feel. And it all came from a harmless facebook search...
So if many of you will read way way back to the 2004 entries of this journal, you may find some mention of a boy named Zach Carson. Haha, and if you knew me during my freshman year in high school, you would also know how completely head over heels I was for this guy. Anyways, I fell completely out of touch with him in the beginning of my senior year of high school (it's not like I tried to, these things just happen. I feel so guilty about it right now). I don't know what it was but something made his name pop into my head tonight for some reason so I thought "Hey, I haven't spoken to this kid in ages...I should probably get back in touch with him". Since everyone has facebook, I decided that just searching his name would be my best bet.
I go through quite a few guys with the same name only to encounter a few groups titled "RIP Zach Carson" or "Zach Carson, you will be greatly missed". I just sit in front of my screen thinking that this must be a different Zach but I click on the link anyway out of pure curiosity only to find that it is the same exact Zach. My friend and my old crush died of a brain tumor on September 19th 2007. He died and I only found out 3 months later. I remember a smuggs friend mentioning to me that he had brain surgery about 2 years ago (while I was up at smuggs mind you) but I just completely disregarded it and thought nothing of it. I feel so completely horrible right now for not knowing and for not being able to help. I know the group said that it was a rare pediatric brain tumor but if I could have done anything to help out at the time, I would have. He's gone and I never got to say goodbye because I was a moron and lost touch with him.
Right now I have a childhood friend battling cancer, my uncle died of cancer over the summer, and I am a cancer survivor (and even though I was only a baby when it happened, I thank my lucky stars that I am alive today). I feel like there is almost a pattern emerging here, why is it that there is such a connection of cancer in my life? Why is it that something so minuscule such as multiplication of cells lead to something so deadly and horrible? I really wish I could find a way to help, maybe make a difference and stop this from happening but people have spent countless amounts of time trying the answer these questions. I just wish I could have known what to do.
I'll miss you Zach.
Lata Dayz
~Marisa*
So if many of you will read way way back to the 2004 entries of this journal, you may find some mention of a boy named Zach Carson. Haha, and if you knew me during my freshman year in high school, you would also know how completely head over heels I was for this guy. Anyways, I fell completely out of touch with him in the beginning of my senior year of high school (it's not like I tried to, these things just happen. I feel so guilty about it right now). I don't know what it was but something made his name pop into my head tonight for some reason so I thought "Hey, I haven't spoken to this kid in ages...I should probably get back in touch with him". Since everyone has facebook, I decided that just searching his name would be my best bet.
I go through quite a few guys with the same name only to encounter a few groups titled "RIP Zach Carson" or "Zach Carson, you will be greatly missed". I just sit in front of my screen thinking that this must be a different Zach but I click on the link anyway out of pure curiosity only to find that it is the same exact Zach. My friend and my old crush died of a brain tumor on September 19th 2007. He died and I only found out 3 months later. I remember a smuggs friend mentioning to me that he had brain surgery about 2 years ago (while I was up at smuggs mind you) but I just completely disregarded it and thought nothing of it. I feel so completely horrible right now for not knowing and for not being able to help. I know the group said that it was a rare pediatric brain tumor but if I could have done anything to help out at the time, I would have. He's gone and I never got to say goodbye because I was a moron and lost touch with him.
Right now I have a childhood friend battling cancer, my uncle died of cancer over the summer, and I am a cancer survivor (and even though I was only a baby when it happened, I thank my lucky stars that I am alive today). I feel like there is almost a pattern emerging here, why is it that there is such a connection of cancer in my life? Why is it that something so minuscule such as multiplication of cells lead to something so deadly and horrible? I really wish I could find a way to help, maybe make a difference and stop this from happening but people have spent countless amounts of time trying the answer these questions. I just wish I could have known what to do.
I'll miss you Zach.
Lata Dayz
~Marisa*